How do I bring up ddlg to my boyfriend?

[kittie]

We have been in a long distance relationship for about 6 months and have known each other for about 5 years now. I don't know how to tell him I'm into ddlg and being submissive. He is coming to visit me in December. I would prefer to talk with him about it before we meet do you have any suggestions??? Also I'm incredibly new to this forum and have only now been looking seriously into ddlg so any advice is very appreciated.

[Guest PattyCake]

How I have done it is to sort of bring up my ex's.  I would say "oh my ex really liked it when I called him Daddy"...just to test the waters a bit.  I actually just did this with a guy I'm seeing and his reply was, "huh, why?"

 

I went in to explain why I thought my ex liked it and he ended up saying he might like it too.  After that I kind of talk about spanking....and rules...I do it a little bit at a time.  My experience is, if you dump everything on someone who has never heard of ddlg, it might overwhelm them.  I kind of approach it by giving them a little at a time.  Most of the time I can gauge if they are interested or not.

 

If they are not...they aren't for me lol.  Hope this helps!  I'm interested to hear how others approach this.

[tayiie]

most guys are very experimental and if you take it little by little they can grow acceptance and understanding. Comunication is always important in any relationship. I would say like previous speaker and just take something very small and start talking about that.

With one boyfriend I had I told him I really liked being spanked, but now this guy wasn't dominant at all, he was almost too kind for his own good, but he did actually try and give me a few smacks but he was very afraid of hurting me. I never thought he would ever even try giving me one smack on the butt, but like I said, most guys are experimental and like trying new things if you just take smal steps and slowly introduce it for them. As to when you should start mentioning it, that's a bit more tricky, mentioning it online can make him doubt about coming to you, on the other hand he will be prepared. Talking once he get's there can for some be more easy to accept but at the same time it can cause an awkward moment.

Edited November 17, 2016 by alex

[pengudaddy]

Hi kittie!
 

Sounds like my exact situation! We are also long distance, but I'm planning to change that. I had known my little for a few years prior to dating. She is my best friend! We got serious and I went and visited her for a week.

She eventually came down to see me for a few weeks herself.

One day she just dropped it on me, she being a little! I was/am still new to Dd/lg but I became quick to accept her for who she is and now I'm her Daddy! And it was the BEST thing for our relationship. We spent summer of 2016 together it is was and still is a learning experience for us.

 

My advice to you is, if you trust him and love him, you should be honest with him (I value honesty in my relationship as the number 1 important factor). Tell him you are "little" and submissive, and ask if he is ok with that.
If he embraces it, this a win-win for both of you! If not, you should decide whether being little is a part of being yourself (I think it should be! always embrace who you are!) and if it is important to you, or if loving him is more important.

 

You just might awaken the Daddy inside of him  

[Kvasir]

Don't use an ex as an example, infact unless he asks do not bring up past relationships (and I mean this too, never ever, ever lie to him, no matter how much it may hurt, he will deal and thank you for it). Practice honesty and take little steps. Send him something ddlg related like a link to a forum that sort of touches on the subect or maybe (and you would need to be brave) just ask him if he is open to trying a different kind of relationship with you and then explain more basic and simple variables (I would enjoy if you keep track of my sleeping, I like rules, do you mind if I _____? Talk cute, show a tiny bit of your little and watch how he takes it) I found out my girl was little when she kept asking permission to do literally everything;her stuffies and interests were a good give away too (then I brought it up). If he reacts in a good way you're in, good job, talk comfortably and experiment. If he does not absorb the idea very well try and suggest other nick names, Some guys just don't understand the name; try sir? most men will enjoy the idea of a submissive, they have just been programed by media, social interactions and kink shaming. Some people hate standing out from a crowd and will hide who the are in fear of rejection *he very well could be your Daddy*

If nothing works then it may not be meant to be. You should always be honest from the start, being honest with yourself and your partner builds trust and a long lasting, loving relationship. Don't go falling for the potential you see in someone, no one should have to be something they are not or live up to someone elses idea of perfect. Hiding a part of who you are has been a big no no. My little is full of quirks and I love her to death, every little imperfection is beautiful and I knew what I was getting into from the very beginnng.

Good luck.

[Guest Princessaj]

I have a vanilla bf.

3 months ago, I tried to tell him about DDlg, nor he or I were ready.

Now, I am much more educated about DDlg and comfortable with being a middle.

 

Just this Wednesday, my bf was cooking in the kitchen, I started talking about

my friends on the forum. His face lit up and he made the connection, because

he always sees me typing to them, we live together.I told him about me being

a middle in very few words and told him what DDlg stood for. After we ate dinner

I started to read him the personal ads so that he could hear what different members

were looking for in a partner. I explained each persons preferences, what they liked

to do being a little, etc or how they were as a Daddy. He asked lots of questions, I

answered them and gave bits of DDlg info. He said to me that it was important for

him to learn about DDlg because it was important to me and he loves me.

 

You have a great foundation of knowing each other for a long time. Maybe, even

though you are long distance, you could casually just start talking about what you

did in little space that day. Just like you were talking about what you did in school

that day or at work. You don't have to be formal or try to get everything perfect.

Then he can ask you questions and then you go back and forth casually in the

rhythm of conversation you usually have between you.

 

I wish you all the best in your adventure. Don't forget to have fun. Hugs