being a little and having issues with men do to past issues

[drip-drop-cur-plop]

im a little who had alot abuse from most of my male family and companions, and this makes it really hard for me to trust, and some times stay calm with my daddy or with any male friends. does any other little have this? any tips on helping? 

i reallt want to trust my daddy more, but im always scared that one slip up will end up like the past.

 

[lilsnoopy]

I went though hard times as a child. Therapy was the best option for me to get over trust issues. It lets you talk about the problems you went though, learn to cope, and get closure. Some people view therapy as a weak move or something but it takes a lot of guts to admit you need help so I view it as a positive thing because you're reaching out to improve yourself for yourself. 

 

Here are a few things I've learned but still.... this is a forum not a therapy center with professional help. 

coping methods: blowing bubbles, coloring, piano music, working out, flexibility stretches/yoga, cooking, baths, crafting, research, reading, walking my dog, cleaning,.

It's a lot of staying busy but it helps me. I know I used to be terrified of being left alone for any period of time and I still suffer that to a much lesser extent. I also fear people with the same body type as the man who hurt me. That might never go away completely but I can handle my triggers better and have learned to stay calm. 

 

I really am trying to encourage you to get counseling because even if you learn to cope on your own there might always be that emotional damage that you never dealt with in a healthy way and it might come out in a different, less healthy way. There are affordable options if money is a problem, sometimes there are groups focused on getting abused women therapy or churches have counseling (a lot more religious based, so it's a personal preference) usually for free or is very affordable. 

Edited November 15, 2016 by lilsnoopy

[Willa14]

This is how I tend to feel too. My Daddy and I are married now and I STILL feel like he's just going to up and change or leave any day now...

 

Funnynotfunny.

 

Anyway. The thing that helps me more than anything else is consistency. We have a weekly chores & health chart. The more he sticks to our punishments and rewards plan, the more it starts to sink in. Any time we miss following through, or the schedule changes, I have a very hard time adjusting.

 

My therapist suggests coming up with at least one small thing that you can make the same every single day. To learn to set expectations again without feeling like they are going to crumble. <3 Start small, and you could work up to a really dependable routine. It helps