A Daddy in emotional pain..

[Guest MyNameIsCris]

I have never liked expressing the sadness I get, though I rarely get sad because Im the type to move with the flow & keep positive, but this time, it's like nothing I have ever gone through. I have lost my little due to a complicated situation. It's a long story & would hate telling the whole thing. It just hurts so much & its so fucking hard. I have never been more in love with anything like I am with her. I keep hope that we will work out in the future, but she doubts that because of her parents & I understand..but I don't know how to cope with this. She was my first Little & we've gone for over a year, & I have hoped for forever, as we've talked about.. I guess Im asking for just some guidance on how to handle this pain. I keep telling myself that I won't move on to someone else, despite the fact that it seems like she already is.. I don't know, Im trying to stay hopeful for us, its just so hard. I don't want to move on, but should I? Im so in love with her & don't want to end what we've had. The thing about having a DdLg relationship is that you get so close to your partner unlike in a normal relationship. You learn so much about the person & bond like none other. Im afraid that I will never feel the same way with someone else. Do I stay hopeful & keep in touch, or let her go & move on? Even thinking about tossing the notes & artifacts she gave me kills me. I can't bring myself to doing so. Help..

[Antoinette]

I'm sending a plethora of virtual hugs your way, stay strong!

 

The only advice I have is to understand that these emotions are healthy and you need to grieve the loss of this relationship before moving on to another one, another relationship shouldn't even be talking about (for you or your ex, but of course she can do as she pleases and if she'd like to be that kind of person, so be it). What you have to accept is that you have no control over this feeling, that it's natural and necessary to feel before getting over her; it will make you stronger in the long run.

 

Love is a strong emotion and you can't just get over it, to lose the person you love is like losing a part of yourself. I don't know your specific situation but believe me when I say I know your pain, it does get better. You probably won't ever stop loving her, it'll turn into a fonder care and understanding most likely but it will stop hurting, I promise you. 

 

So what can you do for the time being? Busy yourself. Whatever your hobbies are, gaming, reading, writing, sports etc. Personally, whenever I'm sad I'll throw on BioShock or Fallout and play until the only thing I can think of is 'just getting one more achievement'. Do work. Any kind of creative outlet will help with your emotions, create some art of any kind - the literature kind, physically make something like a picture or whatever creative kind of things you like doing, just do something to make yourself proud.

 

And a final note to end things, if you're really not getting back together with this girl don't talk to her for the time being. I'm not sure if you said you were still talking to her but don't. It will not help the grieving process it will only make you hold out hope and make you even sadder in the long run.

 

If you ever need anybody to talk to feel free to add me and message me, I'll always listen and give my honest answers. Stay strong. 

[Guest MyNameIsCris]

Thank you so much Antoinette. I understand exactly what you're saying, it's just so hard having to accept what is to come ya know? This 'officially moving on' part just recelty happened, so I honestly don't know what to do. I want to stay in touch, but like you said, i know it won't help with anything, but most likely only make it worse. Thank you again. I will for sure talk to you if needed. Hate feeling like such a vulnerable weakling..

[Guest Yourswhenhonored]

Wait bro, first you are not a weak person, we no one are weak. It is that we give full heart out and thus get hurt most. It is just like a part of us we miss now. What you going on is what I was feeling a few months ago, losing someone we deeply love as the moon and life and world is a hard thing, indeed very hard then even the first time we tried to walk on our feet. But remember we fell down and yet continued our journey and finally were able to stand up and walk. Love is always like that, it increases more and becomes pleasure when we let go and move on but it creates pain when we hold into it. Not saying easy to let go but tears and pain will lead us no where and thus we need to take responsibility of ourselves. In your case I don't even know if you still can talk in my case she stopped all ways of communication and now even when I just wanted to know how she is I can't even find out as when she left together all her friends stopped communicating too. But let me tell you all you need is to first start loving yourself more and more and do things and keep yourself busy with things which will let you forget her. The love of life cannot be forgotten too let me be honest so keep it in heart and smile for the beautiful memories it had. If when love made us feel and be happy how can that person cause us pain, think about it.

You can vent and talk whenever you wish and I will listen to you without judging because I was in your state once and even after healing I still some moments miss her but then change my thoughts and smile feel happy by remembering the lovely moments we had together.

[Beasourous]

Time is always the best medicine.. we all go through the different phases. We will hurt so much that sometimes we feel like we will die from all the pain. But we are strong in our own way. If situation makes it unable to work things out, then you have to let go. We inflict more hurt on ourselves when we hold on and keep trying to make things go back to how it was.. But sadly, sometimes we have to work on ourselves to make ourselves see that things aren't going back to how it was and everything that was shared are now memories.

 

Give yourself some time to heal the pain and the hurt.. *hugs*