Don't act like a little

[NavyLadyVixen]

Not  sure if there is anyone out there who feels this way, but I don't act like a little or a young little for that matter. I am 22 and I don't like acting younger than I am. I feel that I should be able to act my age with whoever my person is. As long as I follow the rules that they set then I will be okay, but I don't like talking, acting, or dressing like I'm younger than I am. So does this still make me little? I would really love some advice on this because I am confused. I have always thought of myself as a little in the relationship, but now I am not so sure.

[Guest]

The cool thing about being little is there is no right or wrong way to be little. Some people are into dipers , some are into coloring books some don't like anything little ish but still enjoy the caring sweet side of having a daddy and that dom/ sub kind of relationship. Best thing about ddlg is its whatever you make it to be . Edited November 13, 2016 by Arya

[NavyLadyVixen]

Thank you! I have always been told that I wasn't a little because I don't act like one and that always confused me. Like shouldn't you be your own self in the little relationship?

[lilsnoopy]

It sounds like you label yourself in the relationship as the little.You basically said everything that people usually see in themselves as being little and said you weren't. Maybe you have being a little and being a submissive confused. You sound more bdsm than dd/lg, but that's just what I gathered. But it not like you're wrong if you label yourself as the little sense there aren't guidelines. I  said label because without that would you be a little? Or is it just a way of viewing yourself as a little compared to him? if that made sense. Like without calling myself a little I still appear as a little. My life is laced in dd/lg. It's in my wardrobe, my bedroom decor, how I act (my shyness, my cuteness), what i eat, everything.It's so much more then what you call yourself. Being a little is who I am and have been. I'm an 18 year old who gets read bedtime stories. It's so much more to me than just a title. 

 

As to you saying you should act yourself in a relationship; I am myself when I'm little in my relationship. Being little is who I am. It's not like I'm someone else when I'm little. I am the me I secretly am almost all the time. I'm sweet, I'm needy, I can be bratty. I act, dress, and talk younger than my physical age. I treat my partner like he's older than his age and he acts it. It's full time with us. I'm always his little girl, he is always daddy. That is what dd/lg and being a little is to me. I can't tell you that you aren't a little but maybe look into dd/lg versus bdsm more. I always try to disclaim that I'm not trying to be rude or anything in my posts, so know i'm just sharing my opinion. You can be a little but maybe research more what it truly means. it's not always just rules you have to follow. 

 

I've decided to edit my post for Lo, I do know a difference. Dd/lg or cg/l is a branch of bdsm. A dd is a Daddy DOM (like in bd/sm it is d/s for DOM/sub). It's all interlinked and overlaps. I haven't told anyone they can't be a little, I was sharing a different viewpoint but respect Doe and her being a little. That is her choice. I was encouraging her to look into the differences between bd/sm and cg/l. But how can it be defied as how you act with a partner?? Some people identify as being little but have no caregiver or are in a relationship but not a dd/lg relationship. That definition isn't valid for every little. 

Edited November 13, 2016 by lilsnoopy

[NavyLadyVixen]

I understand what you saying. I have been in this type of relationship since I was in high school. I didn't know what it meant then and maybe I still don't. I love to color and be read to at night. I just don't like acting younger. Not saying that it's a bad thing because it's not my friends act that way and that is fine with me , but me myself I would just like to act my age. I do dress up sometimes but in the house with him. When we are out we our normal selves. 

[Guest Princessaj]

I like what you are saying about being your age.

 

I had to grow up very fast at 15 years old to take care of myself completely to almost the responsibilities of a 30 year old.

 

I actually never got to be 22, so you knowing what it is like to be 22, I envy you.

 

I am a middle. I want to relive my 15 to 18 years as a 15 to 18 years old even though I am 51.

People in DDlg use the age play for many reasons and that is why the Lifestyle is such a fantastic place to be.

I wish you all the best in making definitions that make you happy. Never forget to play and have fun.

[LoralieHaze]

It sounds like you label yourself in the relationship as the little.You basically said everything that people usually see in themselves as being little and said you weren't. Maybe you have being a little and being a submissive confused. You sound more bdsm than dd/lg, but that's just what I gathered. But it not like you're wrong if you label yourself as the little sense there aren't guidelines. I  said label because without that would you be a little? Or is it just a way of viewing yourself as a little compared to him? if that made sense. Like without calling myself a little I still appear as a little. My life is laced in dd/lg. It's in my wardrobe, my bedroom decor, how I act (my shyness, my cuteness), what i eat, everything.It's so much more then what you call yourself. Being a little is who I am and have been. I'm an 18 year old who gets read bedtime stories. It's so much more to me than just a title. 

With all due respect, I think you're confused as well. DDlg is BDSM, being a little is being a sub. A Daddy Dom is a type of Dominant and a little girl is a type of submissive. The same applies to Mommy Dommes and little boys, respectively. DDlg (and the gender neutral term Cgl) is a type of Dom/sub relationship within BDSM. DDlg is not about what anyone wears or eats or does as a hobby. It's about how you feel and interact with your partner.

 

In regards to the OP, yes, you can be a little and not "act" like one. I'm putting act in quotations because that can be read in many different ways. What I actually mean is that you do not have to behave (naturally or unnaturally) like a child or teenager in order to be a little. What (I think) you mean by acting younger than you are is called ageplay. That is not an inherent part of the DDlg dynamic but they do play very well with each other and a lot of us are into both so we participate in both. 

 

Here are the main qualifications of being a little, in my opinion:

Do you want a Dom/sub relationship?

Do you want to refer to your Dom/Domme as Daddy/Mommy?

Do you want them to refer to you as little girl/little one/baby/kitten etc? 

Do you want them to take care of you in a parental way?

 

If you answered yes to all these questions, then congratulations, you're a little.

Edited November 13, 2016 by LittleKittenLo

[Guest ZenDD]

Out of curiosity, what makes you associate with being a little? What is it that has always made you think of yourself as a little? I think answering these questions could give everyone a more accurate way of answering your question. 

Edited November 13, 2016 by ZenDD

[Guest Wholockprincess23]

With all due respect, I think you're confused as well. DDlg is BDSM, being a little is being a sub. A Daddy Dom is a type of Dominant and a little girl is a type of submissive. The same applies to Mommy Dommes and little boys, respectively. DDlg (and the gender neutral term Cgl) is a type of Dom/sub relationship within BDSM. DDlg is not about what anyone wears or eats or does as a hobby. It's about how you feel and interact with your partner.

 

Here are the main qualifications of being a little, in my opinion:

Do you want a Dom/sub relationship?

Do you want to refer to your Dom/Domme as Daddy/Mommy?

Do you want them to refer to you as little girl/little one/baby/kitten etc? 

Do you want them to take care of you in a parental way?

 

If you answered yes to all these questions, then congratulations, you're a little.

 

I don't think this is necessarily true. I don't believe that you have to look at your caregiver as your dominate. There are PLENTY of people that are in a relationship and the "little" part of their relationship is actually age regression. That doesn't make them NOT a little. It doesn't have to be a part of your sexual relationship and you don't have to look at them as a Dom for them to be your caregiver and you to be their little. There are also people in little/caregiver relationships who aren't sexual at all with one another. One just enjoys taking care of the little and the little enjoys being taken care of. Also, there are A-Sexual littles who are never in relationships.

 

As far as I'm concerned: there are no rules. If you feel like you're a little, then you are, regardless of in which ways you go about it. We're all different, in different situations, and live our lives differently. So DDlg may also be part of the BDSM world, but I believe it can also be outside of that world depending on your circumstances. We shouldn't discriminate.

Edited November 13, 2016 by Wholockprincess23

[LoralieHaze]

I don't think this is necessarily true. I don't believe that you have to look at your caregiver as your dominate. There are PLENTY of people that are in a relationship and the "little" part of their relationship is actually age regression. That doesn't make them NOT a little. It doesn't have to be a part of your sexual relationship and you don't have to look at them as a Dom for them to be your caregiver and you to be their little. There are also people in little/caregiver relationships who aren't sexual at all with one another. One just enjoys taking care of the little and the little enjoys being taken care of.

 

As far as I'm concerned: there are no rules. If you feel like you're a little, then you are, regardless of in which ways you go about it. We're all different, in different situations, and live our lives differently. So DDlg may also be part of the BDSM world, but I believe it can also be outside of that world depending on your circumstances. We shouldn't discriminate.

 

In my opinion, age regression (or age play) alone isn't a determining factor on whether or not someone is a little. Someone can be into behaving like a 12-year-old, but that's automatically doesn't make them a little in the DDlg sense, to me it just means they're into age play.

 

I don't believe that I'm discriminating at all. What it is that I want people to understand is that DDlg in it's purest form is a sexual D/s relationship. That's the default setting. People are allowed (even encouraged) to add or take away certain elements to make it fit their needs but they also have to be aware that that's a modification. If a couple chooses to not engage in power exchange or sex at all, that only changes the way they define DDlg, and it doesn't change what the words mean or how anyone else defines it. I have a longer post about this here.

[Guest trustlove]

There are some Littles who enjoy the 'Little space' and others who enjoy the 'sub space' or both. Generally speaking, Littles require their dominant partner acts as more of a parental or authoritative figure in the relationship.

The DDlg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia, incest, or abuse. Some Littles engage in ageplay, while others do not. While ageplay is a common practice, it’s not the norm for all DDlg relationships. There is also a difference between ageplay and regression but that's a subject to address at a later time.

[Antoinette]

 

As far as I'm concerned: there are no rules. If you feel like you're a little, then you are, regardless of in which ways you go about it. We're all different, in different situations, and live our lives differently. So DDlg may also be part of the BDSM world, but I believe it can also be outside of that world depending on your circumstances. We shouldn't discriminate.

 

Sorry to jump into your conversation here but how exactly can DDlg be outside of the BDSM world, just out of curiosity? Because quite frankly, I don't see how that's possible with DD/lg literally being a type of BDSM relationship. 

[Antoinette]

To the OP, 

 

Have you ever tried a master / slave type relationship rather than a daddy / little one? Perhaps it is more suited to you? Maybe you should explore the different types of BDSM relationships to get a feel for what works best for you and your partner. Also, as ZenDD said, what makes you associate yourself with being a little? Of course if you feel like a 'little' then by all means nobody can say that you're not. 

[Guest Maru]

I'm kind of similar! I don't usually act like I'm a child. Sure I may get excited when I see stuffies in the store, and may pretend to sing (lip sync) just like I did as a kid to my favorite kids songs. But I'm not one to make a kids voice, cry when I don't get things and generally act like a kid. I see myself as a little because I love kids stuff, like shows and songs and movies. I love stuffies. I like embracing my inner child without really acting like a child. I guess I'm just a bit stealthy. When I'm all alone I let my inner child out more than in public. But as you say, I don't act it out a whole lot. So we're similar and I think we should be able to be little without following any specific rules about it.

[NavyLadyVixen]

I haven't really tried anything else honestly. I have been in the relationship type for a while and have grown comfortable in it I guess. Maybe I'll take your advice and look at the styles too. Thank you!

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

As someone who has lived in both sub/Dom and ddlg dynamics, there is a huge difference between between a Sub and a Little. bDSM is an umbrella term; ddlg, abdl, pet play, master/slave are all under this umbrella but are all vastly different! A little is someone who retains child like qualities and whimsy, a middle is someone who retains the qualities of a older child (prepubescent or adolescent). You wouldn't tell a domestic slave that they are a Little because they are involved in BDSM - that's generalization. You wouldn't tell a Kitten that they are a domestic slave for the same reason.

 

A Daddy Dom may not treat his little like a slave. Is he less of a Dom? nope! This is why we have all these sub categories - because they are different.

 

As for the person who said that ddlg cannot exist outside of BDSM - there are plenty if plutonic cg/l relationships where sex and power play are in no way involved. It may have started as a BDSM thing but it has evolved to exist outside out of the kink community. Hence the ever growing problem with Minors calling themselves littles because they like Hello Kitty and stuffies. It doesn't matter what we think, it exists outside of our bubble now. We are almost divided now between those who are Littles in the BDSM sense and those who are plutonic.

 

To the OP, you may identify however you like, it's a deeply personal choice and we welcome you regardless but I suggest you research the different types of Submissive. I mean no offense by this but I feel like youre trying to fit a square peg in a round hole in regards to identifying yourself as a ddlg little. We all have characteristics that make us Little, whether it's sexual, day to day life, or otherwise. What makes you identify with Littles?

 

Either way, Welcome to the blanket fort! None of us are the same, and we all come in different flavours!

 

Peace, love and Pacis

Dolly xoxo

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

It sounds like you label yourself in the relationship as the little.You basically said everything that people usually see in themselves as being little and said you weren't. Maybe you have being a little and being a submissive confused. You sound more bdsm than dd/lg, but that's just what I gathered. But it not like you're wrong if you label yourself as the little sense there aren't guidelines. I  said label because without that would you be a little? Or is it just a way of viewing yourself as a little compared to him? if that made sense. Like without calling myself a little I still appear as a little. My life is laced in dd/lg. It's in my wardrobe, my bedroom decor, how I act (my shyness, my cuteness), what i eat, everything.It's so much more then what you call yourself. Being a little is who I am and have been. I'm an 18 year old who gets read bedtime stories. It's so much more to me than just a title. 

 

As to you saying you should act yourself in a relationship; I am myself when I'm little in my relationship. Being little is who I am. It's not like I'm someone else when I'm little. I am the me I secretly am almost all the time. I'm sweet, I'm needy, I can be bratty. I act, dress, and talk younger than my physical age. I treat my partner like he's older than his age and he acts it. It's full time with us. I'm always his little girl, he is always daddy. That is what dd/lg and being a little is to me. I can't tell you that you aren't a little but maybe look into dd/lg versus bdsm more. I always try to disclaim that I'm not trying to be rude or anything in my posts, so know i'm just sharing my opinion. You can be a little but maybe research more what it truly means. it's not always just rules you have to follow. 

 

I've decided to edit my post for Lo, I do know a difference. Dd/lg or cg/l is a branch of bdsm. A dd is a Daddy DOM (like in bd/sm it is d/s for DOM/sub). It's all interlinked and overlaps. I haven't told anyone they can't be a little, I was sharing a different viewpoint but respect Doe and her being a little. That is her choice. I was encouraging her to look into the differences between bd/sm and cg/l. But how can it be defied as how you act with a partner?? Some people identify as being little but have no caregiver or are in a relationship but not a dd/lg relationship. That definition isn't valid for every little.

 

110% accurate.

[Guest Wholockprincess23]

In my opinion, age regression (or age play) alone isn't a determining factor on whether or not someone is a little. Someone can be into behaving like a 12-year-old, but that's automatically doesn't make them a little in the DDlg sense, to me it just means they're into age play.

 

I don't believe that I'm discriminating at all. What it is that I want people to understand is that DDlg in it's purest form is a sexual D/s relationship. That's the default setting. People are allowed (even encouraged) to add or take away certain elements to make it fit their needs but they also have to be aware that that's a modification. If a couple chooses to not engage in power exchange or sex at all, that only changes the way they define DDlg, and it doesn't change what the words mean or how anyone else defines it. I have a longer post about this here.

 

I can appreciate this. I wasn't saying that YOU in particular are discriminating, so I'm sorry that it came off in that way. I've just had a lot of people tell me how I should be acting or living to be a little, and am honestly extremely tired of it. The second part of your statement, however, is a very mature way to put your views on the matter. I just firmly believe that you don't have to live any certain way to be considered a little and I get a little sensitive when people try to say you HAVE to be a certain way to be a little. It's exhausting. That's like saying I have to look a certain way to be a female. We all do every little thing in our life differently. Sorry if this isn't making much sense or I seem like I'm rambling. I have a foggy brain. Hahaha. But I apologize that you thought I was saying that YOU were discriminating. I promise I wasn't.

[Guest Wholockprincess23]

Sorry to jump into your conversation here but how exactly can DDlg be outside of the BDSM world, just out of curiosity? Because quite frankly, I don't see how that's possible with DD/lg literally being a type of BDSM relationship. 

 

I think what I was trying to say is that you can be in a caregiver and little relationship WITHOUT being a dominate and submissive to one another. When you think about a Dom, you think about someone in a power position. When you think about a sub, you think of someone who gives over trust and likes to be handled (for a lack of a better word at 3 AM). You have to listen to his rules and so on. However, there are many different kinds of caregiver and little dynamic. I've seen plenty. There is the literal dom and sub, the non sexual relationship where the caregiver simply enjoys the caregiver position and the little simply likes to be taken care of and treated little, and littles who either don't feel the need to be in a relationship or are a-sexual and still act as if they are littles.

 

So in short, you don't HAVE to live a certain way to be a caregiver or a little. I, for one, am not in any kind of relationship but consider myself to be little. And I could be in a relationship with someone without feeling the need to be taken care of on a massive level. Or, I could end up deciding I want a bit more of a dom/sub relationship. But I don't HAVE to do any of them; it's my choice. Just like I believe you can be little and make it what you want it to be.

Edited November 14, 2016 by Wholockprincess23

[Antoinette]

I think what I was trying to say is that you can be in a caregiver and little relationship WITHOUT being a dominate and submissive to one another. When you think about a Dom, you think about someone in a power position. When you think about a sub, you think of someone who gives over trust and likes to be handled (for a lack of a better word at 3 AM). You have to listen to his rules and so on. However, there are many different kinds of caregiver and little dynamic. I've seen plenty. There is the literal dom and sub, the non sexual relationship where the caregiver simply enjoys the caregiver position and the little simply likes to be taken care of and treated little, and littles who either don't feel the need to be in a relationship or are a-sexual and still act as if they are littles.

 

So in short, you don't HAVE to live a certain way to be a caregiver or a little. I, for one, am not in any kind of relationship but consider myself to be little. And I could be in a relationship with someone without feeling the need to be taken care of on a massive level. Or, I could end up deciding I want a bit more of a dom/sub relationship. But I don't HAVE to do any of them; it's my choice. Just like I believe you can be little and make it what you want it to be.

 

Thanks for clarifying, I was curious - I always like to see different viewpoints on the topic. Whether you believe DD/lg can exist without BDSM or it needs it to exist, we should all openly listen and take in other's viewpoints. 

[NavyLadyVixen]

Thank you everyone this has helped out a lot trying to figure out what it means. 

[Guest Wholockprincess23]

Thanks for clarifying, I was curious - I always like to see different viewpoints on the topic. Whether you believe DD/lg can exist without BDSM or it needs it to exist, we should all openly listen and take in other's viewpoints. 

I totally agree. We all have a right to our views and opinions, and I too like hearing others as long as they don't feel their way is the only way and like to shove it down other peoples' throats. xP

[MySubsDom]

As someone relatively new to Dd/lg this is a facinating thread. I've got several years experience with M/s and D/s with my wife. Once I learned about Dd/lg I don't think I could go back. The most attractive thing to me that I'm surprised I don't see mentioned is that I see the D/s dynamic expressed here through the instinctual relationship between a father and his young daughter. Maybe it's because I am a father and most people who talk about the dynamic seem to be my daughter's age, so they just haven't experienced it.

 

A father of a young daughter sees her as his little princess - she can do no wrong but needs guidance and protection, everything she does is insanely cute and he's happily at her beck and call. To her, her father can do no wrong, can fix any problem and is her hero. That is the relationship I have with my kitten. She doesn't act "little" often, or overtly, but she is in my view because she wants to share that relationship as my princess. The other elements are details or separate kinks to my thinking. It could, but not necessarily, include incest play, age play, or any other BDSM concept. How that Daddy/little girl connection is expressed in day to day life is really about the combination of the people involved, not external labels or rules.

[LoralieHaze]

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING!

 

As someone relatively new to Dd/lg this is a fascinating thread. I've got several years experience with M/s and D/s with my wife. Once I learned about Dd/lg I don't think I could go back. The most attractive thing to me that I'm surprised I don't see mentioned is that I see the D/s dynamic expressed here through the instinctual relationship between a father and his young daughter. Maybe it's because I am a father and most people who talk about the dynamic seem to be my daughter's age, so they just haven't experienced it.

A father of a young daughter sees her as his little princess - she can do no wrong but needs guidance and protection, everything she does is insanely cute and he's happily at her beck and call. To her, her father can do no wrong, can fix any problem and is her hero. That is the relationship I have with my kitten. She doesn't act "little" often, or overtly, but she is in my view because she wants to share that relationship as my princess. The other elements are details or separate kinks to my thinking. It could, but not necessarily, include incest play, age play, or any other BDSM concept. How that Daddy/little girl connection is expressed in day to day life is really about the combination of the people involved, not external labels or rules.

 

People here understandably don't like to mention the father/daughter aspect of this for many reasons. Some people are in denial about it being what this dynamic is based on. Some people have had abusive relationships or traumatic experiences with their parents and don't want to be reminded of it whenever possible. Some people know that's what this is about but believe that it goes without saying because it's already so obvious. Some people know that's what this is about but don't want to use those words because not everyone on the internet can tell what's real and what's make-believe so we don't want anyone to think that this dynamic is literally incestuous. I agree with what you're saying here but the way that you're phrasing it has the potential to make many of us feel uncomfortable.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

I'm a Little. I don't try to behave like a child, I don't try to act younger. I don't wear clothes that I think will make me be younger. I don't AgePlay or Regress. I am a bit on the childish side. I do use Sippy Cups and Binkies, However this isn't because I'm trying to act or behave like a child. Using these things don't make me "feel" Little. I use them because, it's me and it's want I want to do. My binkie has helped me a lot with my own issues. Sippy Cups make scents to use for me, they are covered with a lid, they are((usually)) spill prof and unlike a number of "Adult" cups they are cute and have designs I actually enjoy. I may speak a little cutesy talk, but that's just my personality and how I've always talked. If I get excited  or don't think before I speak I can't control how my words come out lol

 

There is NO set rules for being Little or weather or not your Little. Some Littles love being babied and having all the baby things. Some Littles want nothing more than just their Daddies/Mommies or Caregivers. Some like children's shows. Some like horror movies and cop shows. Some want diapers while others can't understand why some would want to wear such a thing. Some like bright colorful childish cloths while others dress Gothic, or Punk. Some Littles are Subs. Some Littles are Doms. Some are sexual. Some are Asexual. Some have Daddies. Some have Mommies. Some have Masters. Some have more than one Caregiver. Some have no Caregiver. Some Littles would rather be with an other Little. Some want Daddy and Mommy. Some want two Daddies. Some want a Caregiver and Sisters/Bothers. Some want to be the only one in their Caregivers life. Littles come in all different shapes, flavors and sizes. After all, we all are people. And all people are different. Just because one Little likes something the next one doesn't, doesn't make ether one less or more Little. It's all about you! What you feel, what you think, how you view your world. It's your life. There is no right. There is no wrong. There is only you and how you view your life.