Punishment Ideas

[Guest Sae]

As a general rule, when you are punishing someone. Take it slow, don't do the hardest punishment you can think of first.

 

Also respect safe words, and soft limits. If someone does misbehave it doesn't mean you ignore there limits and you use them against them.

 

Discuss before hand and tell your little/sub why she/he/they are going to be punished before it happens. Allow them to have input and let them tell you they accept the punishment. 

 

ALSO, SEX, TRYING OUT NEW TOYS, BULLYING OR PRESSURING SOMEONE INTO SEX ISN'T PUNISHMENT. YOU AS THE CAREGIVER SHOULDN'T GET SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM PUNISHING YOUR LITTLE/SUB.  Punishments aren't meant to be enjoyable for you or the person who is being punished.   But if there is a general concern around being hit, ect. Respect that. There is a lot of punishments out there. Hitting isn't the only one, and although your submissive/little is being punished there own safety is important too. 

 

NEVER HIT OR PUNISH YOUR LITTLE OUT OF RAGE. be responsible, if they've done something that does really upset you.  Tell them you need some time to yourself, take a step back, calm down. Have your own alone time, time out. What have you. 

 

Than call on them so you guys can talk about the way they need to be punished. But only do this when you are relaxed. 

 

Also after care is important after ALL punishments. Physical or not. 

 

None physical:

 

Taking away sweet treaty foods - This is better done as taking away goodies. Like if your little is misbehaving, being bratty or just being really hyper. You can take away sugar. Pop, maybe if there was ice cream after dinner, take it away. This is a less server punishment clearly but it works. 

 

*Do not take away real food. Do not do food restrictions. *

 

Writing Assignments Of Some Specific Length- This can either be writing lines (Which should be something thats do able) or writing an apology letter. 

 

Punishment Diary - This is something that's really great to do. I've done it before myself and I really like it. Its a good way to express yourself, and its kind of a personal thing that shows your guys relationship in a unique and different way. But what you do is, if your punished you write in the journal explaining why. Do you feel like it was fair? How is your reaction? Are you mad? If your mad explain why. Do you think the punishment was just. This is also a good way for a dom to read and figure out what works for his submissive/little. So I would really suggest this one. Its a good way to communicate about stuff.  Do not use this a book to judge your little.  The book would be her free space to write. 

 

The diary is also a great thing to couple with a physical punishment. 

 

Standing in the corner / Time out - Time outs are really effective to do. This can also be coupled with a physical punishment but they are also really good to do by themselves. Setup and area. a wall, bring out a timer, set it up. and watch your little in her corner, if you've spanked her. Don't let her touch her bottom until you say so. 

 

Restrictions on media centers - This is restricting someone from things like the internet, cell phone use, ect. It's kinda like grounding. Allow them time to do homework if they need too, and mattering on the punishment start the time off time around bed time. Like if your little is up past their bedtime. you can do this. Limit their access from the internet or their phone.  

 

Grounding -  Take away things that your little likes, fav tv shows ect. Pick it for a period of time. 

 

Orgasm denial - This one is sexual, but in a non sexual way. Also not being allowing them to play with there sex toys for an amount of time. 

 

Lecture - Talking to them about their behavior and why it's wrong. 

 

Stricter enforcement of otherwise very lenient rules.

 

Chores  - Add a chore or duty to the list that your little/sub needs to do. 

 

Activities delayed -  This is when you take away something the both of you where going to do that day. Like going to the zoo, or the mall, or something else. Don't take away everything. That trip doesn't go away forever either. It just moves to another day. 

 

Physical ones:

 

Spanking - This one can really change from moderate to severe. Even if you little likes spankings, punishment spankings are different. There is a different tone, mood and setting. Spanking that are punishment shouldn't have kicking, there should be a structured way for your little/sub to be when be spanked. As the dom you also need to be very clear. You can spank with your hand, belts, spanking toys, or canes. Please note that different tools do have different pain levels. Keep an eye on the area you are hitting. If you break skin spanking should be over.  Deal with wones and ouchies properly with after care and a first aid kit if needed.

 

Hair pulling - This is a good one for simple correction.

 

Biting - This is a good one if you have a little who is nippy and you don't like it.  

 

Tickling - Tie up the little/sub and tickle them. If you do tie them up, please keep an eye on limbs to make sure they don't go purple.  

 

Mouth soaping - This is a good one for littles/subs that swear. This can be moderate to severe too. Safety warning: Don't let the little/sub swallow the soap. Make sure they can spit it all out, or as much as possible.  

 

Slapping - This goes for areas outside of the bum. You can slap faces, hands, legs, thighs, boobs ect. 

 

Kneeling - Have you little/sub kneel on either the bare floor for an amount of time, or let them kneel in rice or frozen peas.

[Guest Sae]

I also will not be adding sex/sexual acts to this list. So please don't recommend sex/sexual favors.   That can go far to often into rape, ect. And personally I don't support that idea. 

[Oceanicflgt815]

As  a Dom/Daddy I am firm believer in discipline. Discipline equals love. (If I don't care about you, I don't care what you do or don't do either). Many confuse discipline with abuse or being cruel, that is not the case.

Rules are made for a reason, when the rules are broken then there must be a punishment. Punishment is not cruel or random but consistent.

 

The nature of the punishment thou is really a dynamic between the Daddy/Dom and his little/sub. Is she a brat? Are you as a Dom/Daddy not giving her enough attention so she is acting out for it?

 

In general I like to start out with very simple punishments like being bound and having to sit in a corner facing the wall. Or in position number one like was stated by PrincessSae, kneeling on the floor.

 

A Daddy/Dom is not just here for a flog and a f@#k, he is the guide, mentor, protector of his little/sub.

[pouty princess]

As  a Dom/Daddy I am firm believer in discipline. Discipline equals love. (If I don't care about you, I don't care what you do or don't do either). Many confuse discipline with abuse or being cruel, that is not the case.

Rules are made for a reason, when the rules are broken then there must be a punishment. Punishment is not cruel or random but consistent.

 

The nature of the punishment thou is really a dynamic between the Daddy/Dom and his little/sub. Is she a brat? Are you as a Dom/Daddy not giving her enough attention so she is acting out for it?

 

In general I like to start out with very simple punishments like being bound and having to sit in a corner facing the wall. Or in position number one like was stated by PrincessSae, kneeling on the floor.

 

A Daddy/Dom is not just here for a flog and a f@#k, he is the guide, mentor, protector of his little/sub.

very well spoken! i think punishment is just as key as love, respect, and communication. If Daddy does not punish me for something i know deserves a spankie, then i ultimately feel like He doesn't care. i have heard littles say they are perfect and never get punished, but i am DEFINITELY not that little (just ask my Daddy  ). i need punishment as a redirection and a reminder of what Daddy says goes. i have written a couple blog posts on punishment and Daddy has written one as well if interested.

[Oceanicflgt815]

very well spoken! i think punishment is just as key as love, respect, and communication. If Daddy does not punish me for something i know deserves a spankie, then i ultimately feel like He doesn't care. i have heard littles say they are perfect and never get punished, but i am DEFINITELY not that little (just ask my Daddy  ). i need punishment as a redirection and a reminder of what Daddy says goes. i have written a couple blog posts on punishment and Daddy has written one as well if interested.

 

Agreed and I did read several of your blogs, I thought they were very good!

[Littlebun]

As a Dom/Daddy I am firm believer in discipline. Discipline equals love. (If I don't care about you, I don't care what you do or don't do either). Many confuse discipline with abuse or being cruel, that is not the case.

Rules are made for a reason, when the rules are broken then there must be a punishment. Punishment is not cruel or random but consistent.

 

The nature of the punishment thou is really a dynamic between the Daddy/Dom and his little/sub. Is she a brat? Are you as a Dom/Daddy not giving her enough attention so she is acting out for it?

 

In general I like to start out with very simple punishments like being bound and having to sit in a corner facing the wall. Or in position number one like was stated by PrincessSae, kneeling on the floor.

 

A Daddy/Dom is not just here for a flog and a f@#k, he is the guide, mentor, protector of his little/sub.

I 100% agree, but my King doesn't want to hurt me or make me feel bad. It's too hard for Him. He is all for my improvement and making request for what He wants, but there are never real consequences. I've tried talking about it, and tried something simple, but He often forgets the rules more than I do. I love my King to death, and we both really want this to work. Do you have any advice? I'm going to share the first post with Him too.

[Oceanicflgt815]

I 100% agree, but my King doesn't want to hurt me or make me feel bad. It's too hard for Him. He is all for my improvement and making request for what He wants, but there are never real consequences. I've tried talking about it, and tried something simple, but He often forgets the rules more than I do. I love my King to death, and we both really want this to work. Do you have any advice? I'm going to share the first post with Him too.

 

Sometimes when someone is raised, if discipline is an excuse for abuse or just abuse outright then when they grow up they have a hard time understanding the difference. Of course for some its just not in them and that's what makes some of us a Dom and some of us not. (BTW that does not make one us of better then the other, just different).

 

But discipline is indeed love when done correctly. A little pain helps one grow

 

All joking aside I am a disciplined person in life is he? There is a Zen saying, "a messy house makes for a messy mind". You can see where this is going right? I have rules, I have a personal discipline because it makes life easier and without either you have chaos.

 

So I am a Dom thru and thru which of course makes it easy for me. There are a lot of good books on this subject and I would suggest you two find one you like, read it together maybe.

[Guest Sae]

I 100% agree, but my King doesn't want to hurt me or make me feel bad. It's too hard for Him. He is all for my improvement and making request for what He wants, but there are never real consequences. I've tried talking about it, and tried something simple, but He often forgets the rules more than I do. I love my King to death, and we both really want this to work. Do you have any advice? I'm going to share the first post with Him too.

Have you guys thought about writing them down?

 

Make it a project, go out, buy some cute paper, type it up, or hand write down your guys rules. Explain what needs to be explained, also maybe so its not just rules add rewards, treat ideas, and some basic understandings of your guys relationship. (Like hard limits soft limits ect) And then make a book, if you wanna just write down the rules on a single piece of paper, do that and then make the page pop out by stickers and other stuff. 

 

:3 You guys can also start with a short rule list. Write down the things that are the most important, than slowly update it. You and your SO could also just always look over the rules every once and awhile together. :3 Or try and remind him by what the rules are.  

[Amazing君子]

I've written a tumblr post about this. In my opinion it doesn't do any good to punish your little unless she/he knows exactly what the punishment is about and what she/he is supposed to learn from it.Otherwise the punishment doesn't really mean anything. Punishments should always be followed by aftercare, and just as important as punishemnts are rewards for good behavior.

[Littlebun]

Have you guys thought about writing them down?

 

Make it a project, go out, buy some cute paper, type it up, or hand write down your guys rules. Explain what needs to be explained, also maybe so its not just rules add rewards, treat ideas, and some basic understandings of your guys relationship. (Like hard limits soft limits ect) And then make a book, if you wanna just write down the rules on a single piece of paper, do that and then make the page pop out by stickers and other stuff.

 

:3 You guys can also start with a short rule list. Write down the things that are the most important, than slowly update it. You and your SO could also just always look over the rules every once and awhile together. :3 Or try and remind him by what the rules are.

[Littlebun]

Shoot, I meant to comment under that. Silly mobile mode, sorry!

 

Thanks for the advice!! We do have a little journal about our dynamic and have written down rules, but I think part of the problem was that the original rules may not have been super important to Him. Since we have been exploring DD/lg He has been thinking of rules that better myself, not rules for submissive sake (always saying please, posture, etc). I think since He cares about my wellbeing he can better remember and enforce such guidelines. I'm not supposed to talk badly about myself, and He always catches me if I do. I do think it will be more helpful to post them in a visible place so we are both reminded.

 

King is very disciplined in His personal life, and I can see the enjoyment He gets from dominating me in the bedroom, and now also when He takes care of my little self outside of the bedroom. So I think there is just a difficult mindset to get over for some Doms that hurting girls is completely wrong-even if they enjoy their dominance.

[WarmDaddy]

I use gentle punishment techniques for my little. Which came to me after my one little deeply enjoyed being spanked. For example

I often use teasing torment tying my little down so she is unable to move( she enjoyed this part) and using toys or myself getting her aroused to the point where she begs for other things( you know) .Go to the fridge grab an ice cube stifle her lust and restart after three times worked I had a pile of moldable goo restrained and the threat of being punished this way was enough to keep our rules in place. Of course there's the playful side she had to get just spanked but abuse is always out of the question for me and would never do it.

[Guest Sae]

I use gentle punishment techniques for my little. Which came to me after my one little deeply enjoyed being spanked. For example

I often use teasing torment tying my little down so she is unable to move( she enjoyed this part) and using toys or myself getting her aroused to the point where she begs for other things( you know) .Go to the fridge grab an ice cube stifle her lust and restart after three times worked I had a pile of moldable goo restrained and the threat of being punished this way was enough to keep our rules in place. Of course there's the playful side she had to get just spanked but abuse is always out of the question for me and would never do it.

This post is about real punishments not sex.  

[GentleDaddyDom]

I also will not be adding sex/sexual acts to this list. So please don't recommend sex/sexual favors.

 

Did you read this before you wrote:

I use gentle punishment techniques for my little. Which came to me after my one little deeply enjoyed being spanked. For example

I often use teasing torment tying my little down so she is unable to move( she enjoyed this part) and using toys or myself getting her aroused to the point where she begs for other things( you know) .Go to the fridge grab an ice cube stifle her lust and restart after three times worked I had a pile of moldable goo restrained and the threat of being punished this way was enough to keep our rules in place. Of course there's the playful side she had to get just spanked but abuse is always out of the question for me and would never do it.

? Because there's not really supposed to be suggestions and mention of sexual punishments in the thread.

 

While things like orgasm denial aren't inherently awful, especially if they're communicated about and consented to... We should keep that out of this thread.

[Guest Rainbow]

PrincessSae you have great punishment ideas.. however, how do you know if you need to add punishment and rules to your DDlg relationship? I feel like I am a fairly amenable little, and want to do my best for daddy (and myself) always. What sort of things would warrant punishment? How can I know what sort of things should be rules in our DDlg dynamic? Also to be noted, I very much enjoy physical 'punishments.' Does this mean the punishments should be more severe to the point that I don't enjoy them? Would non physical punishments work better?

 

I know that this is our unique relationship, but just looking for some advice based on those elements. And I hope this is the right thread to ask these questions. Thanks!

[EchoInFlames]

Enforcing an earlier sleeping time when a Little misbehaves is also another one in which you can add.

[Guest Sae]

Enforcing an earlier sleeping time when a Little misbehaves is also another one in which you can add.

Thats what "Stricter enforcement of otherwise very lenient rules." means :3

[Guest Sae]

PrincessSae you have great punishment ideas.. however, how do you know if you need to add punishment and rules to your DDlg relationship? I feel like I am a fairly amenable little, and want to do my best for daddy (and myself) always. What sort of things would warrant punishment? How can I know what sort of things should be rules in our DDlg dynamic? Also to be noted, I very much enjoy physical 'punishments.' Does this mean the punishments should be more severe to the point that I don't enjoy them? Would non physical punishments work better?

 

I know that this is our unique relationship, but just looking for some advice based on those elements. And I hope this is the right thread to ask these questions. Thanks!

I never saw your reply until now. I'm so sorry!

 

You only really need to add punishments if they are needed. In my opinion a punishment is only really carried out if the people in the relationship think its okay to be punished for something. Like say you keep skipping on doing a chore, and you know you are, and your SO knows too. Maybe in order for you to remember to do that chore the both of you sit down and you guys figure out a way that might help you remember more. Be it Daddy reminds you its chore time, get off the computer and go do what you are doing, or you write lines or something that will help you remember. 

 

Punishments aren't always about feeling 'super' painful and having marks. Punishments are like reminders of the rules you both agreed too. I also would suggest that you start off with ones that aren't super severe. And as for pleasure from a punishment. I think the tone is different. Your Daddy would be firmer and wouldn't let any funny business pass. I think punishments are a lot stricter. With stuff like spanking, maybe its your not allowed to kick your legs, move your arms around, maybe a different pose is used, ect. Your Daddy also can scold you while he spanks you and at the end "Do you know what you were spanked for?" and you answer. 

 

I'm not you so I'm not sure what kind of punishment would work for you. I'm also a submissive. xD but I would say bring it up with your SO. Tell him punishment is something you want to have in the relationship, tell him what you are seeking from it. Maybe look online and find more posts about punishments. Ask him to read up on it too. :3

[daddyslittlediary]

Can anyone list some long distance punishments that they're found effective? Just looking for some insight.

[Guest curious-babydoll]

Here is my list of possible punishments with my Papa (we are long distance)

Punishments For Bad Baby Girls

1. Kneeling (with limits in mind)

2. Kneeling on uncooked rice/peas

3. Writing lines

4. Writing essays

5. Writing an apology

6. Restrictions on fun things (TV, tumblr, coloring, and so on)

7. Groundings/privilege lost (maybe getting parental controls on my phone and computer so he can decide what's blocked, when, and for how long)

8. Early bedtime

9. Corner time

10. Cold shower

11. Chastity belt?

12. Chores

13. Punishment spanking (high number, your pace, what's used, needing to count)

14. Having to use my hand cuffs and freeze one of the keys in ice and wait for it to melt before being allowed to get out (one key left out for safety)

15. Lectures for misbehavior

16. Mouth soaping

17. Clothes pins on tongue or naughty part lips

18. Capsaicin cream

19. Strict rules on sweets/potty use/bedtime/buying fun stuff

 

everything has been Very discussed and certain days or at certain times things are off the table because of physical limitations... we don't use self spanking really ever because he worries about it very easily crossing to self harm (because of my history) but if we did it would be very controlled

[Bull]

When clover is REALLY bad, I make her wear this shirt in public.

 

http://orig12.deviantart.net/8261/f/2011/300/2/e/_onl__justin_beiber_gays_by_overnightlover-d4e3aax.jpg

[NeoDaddy]

Here is my list of possible punishments with my Papa (we are long distance)

Punishments For Bad Baby Girls

1. Kneeling (with limits in mind)

2. Kneeling on uncooked rice/peas

3. Writing lines

4. Writing essays

5. Writing an apology

6. Restrictions on fun things (TV, tumblr, coloring, and so on)

7. Groundings/privilege lost (maybe getting parental controls on my phone and computer so he can decide what's blocked, when, and for how long)

8. Early bedtime

9. Corner time

10. Cold shower

11. Chastity belt?

12. Chores

13. Punishment spanking (high number, your pace, what's used, needing to count)

14. Having to use my hand cuffs and freeze one of the keys in ice and wait for it to melt before being allowed to get out (one key left out for safety)

15. Lectures for misbehavior

16. Mouth soaping

17. Clothes pins on tongue or naughty part lips

18. Capsaicin cream

19. Strict rules on sweets/potty use/bedtime/buying fun stuff

 

everything has been Very discussed and certain days or at certain times things are off the table because of physical limitations... we don't use self spanking really ever because he worries about it very easily crossing to self harm (because of my history) but if we did it would be very controlled

thank you! I love these ideas!! Very helpful

[CandyMilk]

"YOU AS THE CAREGIVER SHOULDN'T GET SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM PUNISHING YOUR LITTLE/SUB."

 

I think this makes sense in principle but is not realistic.  Daddy is a sadist.  Of course he's going to find punishing me arousing.

[Guest nee-phy]

...

[Foffy]

Lines. And anything that fits the crime...punishments which exactly fit whatever they/I did are much more effective...