How do daddies/mommies/caregivers handle...

[Aaleayha]

Hi! I'm pretty new to this entire lifestyle. Or I should say, I'm new to having a community for it!  I've recently figured out I'm what you call a little/middle. I've never had a caregiver like this before so I'm used to handling things on my own, even in my littlespace time. And I'm interested in learning how individual daddies/mommies/caregivers would handle a situation like mine. I'm just really curious as to what a daddy or mommy would do. Who better to ask then the mommies and daddies out there?!

It's the little things that can be seen as an embarrassment that I wonder about. How would you handle something that your little may be super embarrassed about? How would you handle a little that may have issues really obeying certain orders you put out... like bedtime or mealtime?

I can't wait to hear your answers! No answer is wrong! I just wanna know what all you Big people have to say! I learn better when I hear it straight from people. They're experiences. What they really enjoyed. Any bumps they had that could be learned from.

Super Edit! I wasn't trying to find a daddy or caregiver! I thought I should just say that. 'cause I'm not ready? I gotta learn alot more about me before I ask someone else to learn about me too. I edited this too... cause I wrote it earlier when I was super stressed. It sounded a little too much like a Big person's school book! Sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone away.

Edited November 12, 2016 by Aaleayha

[LoralieHaze]

I'm not a caregiver so I can't answer your question in the way that you would prefer it to be answered. However, I can give you some advice.

 

I know that you'd like to have this part of the equation figured out to make things easier in the future, but by doing so now, you're making things harder for yourself in the present. I think you're certainly putting the cart before the horse here. You have only very recently discovered DDlg and you still have a ton of learning to do before you even begin to look for a CG. Not just you specifically, but everyone who is new to this dynamic has so much to learn before seeking a partner within it. Even though I feel like I've been a little for the past 10 years, it took me about 5 months to really get to know my little self well, and in some ways I'm still learning now.

 

I think you already know that this will be a long, slow process, but I feel the need to remind you of that. You need to be focusing on yourself right now and experimenting on your own. What things make you feel little? What is it about those things that cause that? Are there any things that you haven't tried yet but are interested in? Using myself as an example again, when I first started learning about DDlg, I thought pacifiers were dumb and totally not my thing. But the more I thought about it, I was actually kind of interested in them. I ended up buying some and I actually really like using them. Another thing about it that's interesting is that they don't put me in little space. Yes, I find pacis comforting but they don't make me feel little. I never would have known any of this had I not taken my time to explore my feelings and interests.

 

To directly address the topic of this post, it really depends on the person. For some people, being your caregiver will be too much work for them. I know that's unfortunate but it's still valid for them to feel that way. For other people though, having to physically take care of you will bring an extra element of closeness and nurturing to the dynamic. Not every caregiver is the same, wants the same things in a relationship, or will view your situation in the same way. Once you're prepared to look for a CG, you can't concern yourself with what the average one will or won't accept. You should concern yourself with finding the right one for you because the right one for you will fully accept you as you are.

 

You seem really nice and like you have a great sense of self-awareness. Please feel free to send me a message if you have any questions for me or just feel like talking.

[Aaleayha]

OH no! I'm not looking for a caregiver or even a relationship right now!    (perhaps I should edit my first post to let everyone know? sorry! I know there's an advert. section for that!) I do tend to be sound a bit cold and technical when I write online. If you could see or talk to my IRL, it's so different. I don't say nearly as much and I go "um" alot... or stutter. I was asking this out of curiosity. Because I know everyone's answers are going to be different. I want to learn more about how daddy's or caregivers would respond to these sort of things. I know it's not everyone's tastes. Heck, even vanilla people aren't that great with disabilities. LOL!  But I figured anyone that could or might want to respond could give it a whirl? Myabe someone who might have a little experience. Even with just a scared little in general, I suppose.

TBH, I've been looking into this far longer then I actually knew DDlg and age-play was a real thing. I already knew I was a little... I had a littlespace already established even. Times where I just am little. I act little. I do little things. I have all these things that I do and play with that just are a little mindset. I just didn't know all of this had a name. I just thought I was weird. If that makes any sense... So I am mostly focusing on myself for right now. I have for a while now. At least a few months as a little/middle itself since I discovered this had a name. I know it's not a good bit of time and I do understand that it's going to take a while longer. Any work with our own self -discovery is, I think!! Totally worth it though, I think.

Unfortunately, I have a not so understanding family that I live with. I can only do so much self-exploration. I'm not out to my family, I probably won't ever be. They're the scary sort of conservative. But I do what I can. I'm lucky too 'cause I have a friend who's helping me out. Kind of explaining things and calm me down if it seems a bit overwhelming. They're a switch so they can kind of give me a generalized sense from both sides. They aren't my caregiver though. Just a helper. (and an awesome friend!)

I'll go edit the beginning post some. Maybe make it sound less scary and ominous sounding??

Edited November 12, 2016 by Aaleayha

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

So basically, you're more or less asking all the Caregivers out there, How they care for their Littles? Like how they treat them, and how they behave around them? What they do for their Littles, and how they react to their Littles' behavior? 

[Aaleayha]

So basically, you're more or less asking all the Caregivers out there, How they care for their Littles? Like how they treat them, and how they behave around them? What they do for their Littles, and how they react to their Littles' behavior? 

I could cry. I had a really good response... then accidentally closed the browser tab! I'll try to replicate but it's different now.

 

Yeah. Basically. I want to see things from their perspective. Like I know more now about little's and how there are different types because I've been watching the little's section and just getting a feel for everyone. How different people act. Different attitudes and acceptances. The little's section has given me tons of ideas to play with. I just want to see how the CG would respond or react. How different they approaches might be. I could read their "types" like I would a analytically-written, dictionary definition of them. But I always find it easier to understand when I learn directly from the source. It makes it feel more human. If that makes sense?

 

And this will help me too in the long run. I don't have a lot to work with at home. So I don't know how I would feel about something a CG might say or do. This helps me learn more about myself too. Like, would I be comfy if someone did that? Or this? That's how I've always learned more about myself. Just like with the little's section. Of course I know it's not perfectly laid out. Every situation could have tons of different paths ... like the butterfly affect. But gives me a starting point? An idea to roll around in my mind and find my tolerance for it.  I've been kind of reading the CG's section. But I wanted to ask in person instead of being the little that hides behind the corner peeking out. LOL

Edited November 12, 2016 by Aaleayha

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

That actually does make a lot of sense. You want a "feel" for Caregivers like you found the "feel" for Littles. I can totally see how this could help you learn about things and even more about yourself. Like trying to figure out what type of caregiver or partner you might like to have, find ideas you might like and know what to tell them you don't want. When you finally feel ready to look for one. I think is was a wonderful idea and I hope you get some replies from some Caregivers on the matter