i cant be strong anymore

[Guest cottoncandyheart]

my daddy and i are long distance and we have been together nearly 2 years and we first met in person in april 2015 which was the best week of my life. he works long shifts 7 days a week, and in turn its making him depressed, exhausted and stressed beyond belief. he works all day long, he rings me and goes to sleep. for this past year since january he was depressed and it hurt me to no end to suddenly see the love of my life fall right through my fingers. he stopped giving me any affection, he just went. we had a long chat to resolve it...and after it was fine obviously except his job he started in february. he is so exhausted and stressed every night unsurprinsgly. we haven't done anything sexual this whole year because he is so stressed out or barely spent quality time together like we used to, i miss him more than i can even describe. 10 months later he is still in a job which is awful and demanding of him and we can literally speak once a day. he of course doesn't want to be there and it is the last thing he wants to do. but they make him be there and he can't quit because he has to pay his mothers medical bills among other things.

 

i admire his work ethic but it is putting the worst strain not only on our relationship but on me as well. i know he loves me because even though he works these hours he calls me every night and tells me nice things and we chat like usual. however, yesterday at work he only messaged the briefest thing..usually he says 'i love you baby'. on the phone he sounded just as stressed and depressed, and i really just cant go through what he put me through in january. i've been with him all the way, through his depression and his long work hours. i've always been there for him. the way he is acting is scaring me. i cant lose him again. i cant have him go through what he went through again, and what he put me through. i dont know what to do. leaving him is the last thing i wanna do. but i feel so broken i cant bare it. im sorry for the long, depressing post. if you have absolutely any advice or tips i would be incredibly grateful. im sobbing so much. i love him more than the world and i cant lose him again. im so scared

Edited November 8, 2016 by cottoncandyheart

[Baby_squirrel]

[Guest cottoncandyheart]

My heart hurts for you so much going through all of what you wrote. Don't think of yourself as weak for asking for help. It takes strength to put yours and your daddy's situation out here for us to read. You're dedicated, beautiful and your heart is still in it to help and work with your daddy.

 

This might not be the best help, but the first things that come to my mind is applying for county/state assistance. After that reaching out to supportive organizations. In my county we have a number to call. Looking it up it works in all of North America. 211 is the number. Going online is better for searching. The website gives a list of all available aid, including healthcare and depression hotlines. The listed services are usually free. Try

 

http://www.211.org

 

Every time I've called for help a real person answers. They let you explain what you need and they search to bring up every number available that can help. Grab a pen and paper. You'll have to get your daddy's permission to help, maybe do some of the research for him but it is worth a try.

 

There's also website to search that may offer aid depending on what her sickness is. Lastly if your daddy is willing to put his and his mom's situation out there GoFundMe is an option. I've never used it myself, but I've donated. It is well worth a try.

 

Best of wishes and super hugs. I hope things get better.

thank you so much for this my love. it was incredibly sweet and helpful, and thanks for the website ideas. sometimes i feel so alone in my situation but it really helps knowing others are willing to listen to me and help. <3

[Guest Princessaj]

First of all, I am biased. I hate being strong.

 

I would like to offer some thoughts, questions and ideas about your post....

 

You are 18.

I am old. I highly suggest that you go live a lot. Have a gazillion experiences and be able to look back on your life that was a fabulous adventure.

 

You have been together 2 years.

You have been together, not IRL In Real Life, really apart for 2 years. Anyway...longer than some marriages. I think it is time for you to have a local relationship that you can be in each others lives, space, ups and downs, morning, noon and night. Fully experience answering the questions, who are you- to a guy and to you.

 

He has an overwhelming obligation.

He is in hell, mind body and soul. Even though you say he is forced to do it, his circumstances made the decision, this is on him. This is what makes a man or breaks him. This is his lesson, let him learn it or he may have to repeat it.

 

He has depression.

It appears he could have "situational" depression that is caused by a traumatic event. With professional treatment, it will end. Educate yourself for him and you. Encourage him to get treatment. As a friend, support his getting well. It will mean more.

 

What this is doing "to" you

First remove the thinking of "what he is doing or not doing." He is not there as you knew him. His situation and condition are forcing you to ask lifetime questions. Growing is very uncomfortable. Be thankful that you know this will not last forever.

 

What he put you through

"He" is not in charge here, you are. "He" didn't put you through anything, you allowed it to happen. You can decide when you are done or this will continue, guaranteed.

 

I can't loose him again

You can't loose what you don't have. You never had him. What does that even mean to you? You had his attention, his affection...all of that is very nice, but it is circumstantial. temporary. His situation took your place, that's it plain and simple.

 

You have everyone's support here. We will not judge if you decide you are done or if you will continue. Here is you need to bat it around.

[Guest cottoncandyheart]

First of all, I am biased. I hate being strong.

 

I would like to offer some thoughts, questions and ideas about your post....

 

You are 18.

I am old. I highly suggest that you go live a lot. Have a gazillion experiences and be able to look back on your life that was a fabulous adventure.

 

You have been together 2 years.

You have been together, not IRL In Real Life, really apart for 2 years. Anyway...longer than some marriages. I think it is time for you to have a local relationship that you can be in each others lives, space, ups and downs, morning, noon and night. Fully experience answering the questions, who are you- to a guy and to you.

 

He has an overwhelming obligation.

He is in hell, mind body and soul. Even though you say he is forced to do it, his circumstances made the decision, this is on him. This is what makes a man or breaks him. This is his lesson, let him learn it or he may have to repeat it.

 

He has depression.

It appears he could have "situational" depression that is caused by a traumatic event. With professional treatment, it will end. Educate yourself for him and you. Encourage him to get treatment. As a friend, support his getting well. It will mean more.

 

What this is doing "to" you

First remove the thinking of "what he is doing or not doing." He is not there as you knew him. His situation and condition are forcing you to ask lifetime questions. Growing is very uncomfortable. Be thankful that you know this will not last forever.

 

What he put you through

"He" is not in charge here, you are. "He" didn't put you through anything, you allowed it to happen. You can decide when you are done or this will continue, guaranteed.

 

I can't loose him again

You can't loose what you don't have. You never had him. What does that even mean to you? You had his attention, his affection...all of that is very nice, but it is circumstantial. temporary. His situation took your place, that's it plain and simple.

 

You have everyone's support here. We will not judge if you decide you are done or if you will continue. Here is you need to bat it around.

was there any need to be so rude? i'm not going to leave him for someone closer nor am i going to give up on our relationship because he has a demanding job. i really didnt understand what you meant by 'you never had him' and that his attention was temporary. i came here for advice not to get a bashing.

[Missy777animal]

Relationship s are hard. If you need more support, there will always be someone. Good job for putting it in words instead of all emotion. You are strong and smart. Hugs to you my little friend. Message me if you need some one to just be there.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I don't think she was rude at all. I think she just didn't sugar coat it. Her advice is quite sound.

 

If his job and obligations are putting a strain on your relationship as well as his own well being and yours than you have to decide where your priorities lay. Any real Dom will put the well being of his sub first - same can be said for caregivers. If he works 7 days a week, has no time left for you due to exhaustion then he is in no place to take on the role of a cg. Even in a ldr it's a lot of responsibility and should be taken seriously. Sometimes life happens and it sucks but you have to deal with it like a grown up. If you feel neglected and you feel like you aren't getting what you need from your relationship then you need to speak up or move on because it's not fair to you or him.

 

There's no shame in needing more. There's no shame in asking for more.

 

If there's a lack of intimacy (not just the physical stuff) and things have changed that much due to his crazy schedule..the relationship is essentially over as it has lost all of the components that made it fulfilling.

 

I truly hope you guys can make it work. 2 years is a fair chunk of time to invest in a person but never settle for being unhappy to make someone else happy.

[Guest cottoncandyheart]

Relationship s are hard. If you need more support, there will always be someone. Good job for putting it in words instead of all emotion. You are strong and smart. Hugs to you my little friend. Message me if you need some one to just be there.

Thankyou my love <3