I'm really confused :c

[Guest Kittenx]

I'm new to this community. I have made an account to hopefully get some advice about a complicated matter.

I have always been interested in DD/LG, I just love every aspect about it (especially the plushies and paci's!).

However my boyfriend is only really interested in it when it comes to sex, kind of like a kink I suppose.

I suffer with chronic fatigue syndrome and being little seems to be really helping me with my disease, and is making me feel so much happier. Thing is I feel as if I can't really be little around my boyfriend. He just doesn't seem comfortable with the whole Daddy thing. For example I saw some adorable sippy cups the other day when me and my boyfriend were shopping but he pulled me away from them, I just don't feel as if he wants me to be this way. I feel as if it embarrasses him?

I really love my boyfriend and value our relationship a lot. I just don't know what to do with regards to being little :/ I'm scared of talking to him about it because he just doesn't seem interested in the lifestyle. I also feel as if I can't be little when I'm alone either, as I'd feel guilty for doing it behind his back :c

I'm just very confused at the moment and don't really know what to do :c

[Guest Kittenx]

Oh I forgot to add! He is really open with me dressing as a Kitten and doesn't mind me dressing up every single day. I think at first he thought it was wierd but has come to enjoy it. But I don't think he would be as accepting with a DD/LG lifestyle

[Guest lilglitterprincess]

In my opinion,first of all you should discuss the whole ddlg thing with him

Tell him what it is about,what do you like and ask him if he likes something too.

You won't now for sure his opinion untill you ask him

 

If he doesn't like it at all of course you can't force him to

So it will be very helpfull if you could be little without him

It's not something you do behind his back,and if it helps you deal with your decise,why not do it?

It's like your boyfriend likes to play videogames but you don't so that you can play with him,so he plays when he is alone.

I know it's a stupid example,but since you're not hurting the other person in your relationship,you can do stuff that you like in your own time

Edited November 5, 2016 by lilglitterprincess

[Guest Kittenx]

In my opinion,first of all you should discuss the whole ddlg thing with him

Tell him what it is about,what do you like and ask him if he likes something too.

You won't now for sure his opinion untill you ask him

 

If he doesn't like it at all of course you can't force him to

So it will be very helpfull if you could be little without him

It's not something you do behind his back,and if it helps you deal with your decise,why not do it?

It's like your boyfriend likes to play videogames but you don't so that you can play with him,so he plays when he is alone.

I know it's a stupid example,but since you're not hurting the other person in your relationship,you can do stuff that you like in your own time

 

Thank you sooo much for your reply and advice, it's really helpful!

I totally agree with you that I won't know his exact opinion until I talk to him about it. For all I know he could be totally open about it. I think this is what I need to do, even if it does seem super scary!

I think being little without him should help too, especially if he's not open to the DDLG lifestyle. At least that way I can still be little

Thanks again for all your help

[Guest lilglitterprincess]

I know it seems scary but after you ask him you will know for sure,so if you are "afraid" to ask him,just think that it's just a moment and it will pass 

I'm glad I helped  

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Journal how you feel and ask him to read it if the prospect of talking about it is frightening at first. I struggle with verbal communication so I journal a lot of my problems and concerns and ask Daddy to read them, then he leads the conversation once he knows how I feel.

[Guest Kittenx]

Journal how you feel and ask him to read it if the prospect of talking about it is frightening at first. I struggle with verbal communication so I journal a lot of my problems and concerns and ask Daddy to read them, then he leads the conversation once he knows how I feel.

 

Thank you so much! That is great advice. If I can't bring myself to talk to him about it I will definitely try journalling instead and show it to him!

Thanks so much

[Guest Princessaj]

Perhaps you can show him this page and let him read how people in the DDlg Lifestyle helped you?

It might be a way to introduce him to the forum so he can access more information at his own pace.

This and many other significant points of your life need to be celebrated. Good on you for being you.

[Guest Kittenx]

Perhaps you can show him this page and let him read how people in the DDlg Lifestyle helped you?

It might be a way to introduce him to the forum so he can access more information at his own pace.

This and many other significant points of your life need to be celebrated. Good on you for being you.

Thank you so much. I will introduce him to the forum and that way he can get all the information he needs and can learn more about the lifestyle. I feel as if being little is a part of me, that I have finally found who I truly am. I'm just hoping that he is excepting of it! I will never force him though ^~^

Thanks again

[jesterjoe9]

What I would do in this situation is that I would sit down and talk to him about how it helps you and he should understand that it is who you are. We are all here for you.

[stargirl]

It sounds like you know what to do, but you don't like the possibility of this not becoming a DDlg relationship. Don't let this fear keep you from having the healthy, fulfilling relationship you seek. I suggest an honest, open conversation where you can both be vulnerable. Don't be afraid to take the risk because the pay off is worth it. Trust me.

 

Brainstorm what things you like, what you'd like to try, what you would never do, and write them down. I suggest starting out with things you already know he likes, and then slowly easing into more potentially controversial topics, like explaining that age regression is not only sexual and how it's a part of who you are or asking him why he removed you from the sippy cups you liked. Gauge his reaction the entire time, observe his responses. Try not to react or draw conclusions right away. It may help if you do some reading on this and take note of the subjects you'd like to touch beforehand. You can send him links to DDlg info (from this forum, google, reddit, etc.) that may help correct any negative stereotypes he has about the dynamic. And this could make the conversation easier for you.

 

You don't have to mention anything that would make you feel uncomfortable, or that might cause a reaction that hurts or invalidates your feelings. In the end, you will have a much better idea of what both your needs are, and if either of you is able to meet them or reach a compromise. After taking a good look and all the information you gathered, you've got to me honest with yourself and try to make a mutually beneficial decision. Take your time deciding. Talk more than once if you need to gather more info or find more helpful information to share. In the end if he's not into it, it doesn't sound like this would be a very healthy and rewarding relationship for you or him. And if he is into it, you've given him a wonderful intro into the community, and you have something you can work with 

 

If you have any other questions, keep posting, keep asking, feel free to message me if you need a different perspective or get out of your head a little.

 

Good luck!

[stargirl]

What I would do in this situation is that I would sit down and talk to him about how it helps you and he should understand that it is who you are. We are all here for you.

 

Yes, we are all here for you! :heart:

[Guest Kittenx]

What I would do in this situation is that I would sit down and talk to him about how it helps you and he should understand that it is who you are. We are all here for you.

Thank you so much. I think this is definitely the way forward for me. I'll have to be brave and take this next step!

Thank you so much. The support means the world to me!

[Guest Kittenx]

It sounds like you know what to do, but you don't like the possibility of this not becoming a DDlg relationship. Don't let this fear keep you from having the healthy, fulfilling relationship you seek. I suggest an honest, open conversation where you can both be vulnerable. Don't be afraid to take the risk because the pay off is worth it. Trust me.

 

Brainstorm what things you like, what you'd like to try, what you would never do, and write them down. I suggest starting out with things you already know he likes, and then slowly easing into more potentially controversial topics, like explaining that age regression is not only sexual and how it's a part of who you are or asking him why he removed you from the sippy cups you liked. Gauge his reaction the entire time, observe his responses. Try not to react or draw conclusions right away. It may help if you do some reading on this and take note of the subjects you'd like to touch beforehand. You can send him links to DDlg info (from this forum, google, reddit, etc.) that may help correct any negative stereotypes he has about the dynamic. And this could make the conversation easier for you.

 

You don't have to mention anything that would make you feel uncomfortable, or that might cause a reaction that hurts or invalidates your feelings. In the end, you will have a much better idea of what both your needs are, and if either of you is able to meet them or reach a compromise. After taking a good look and all the information you gathered, you've got to me honest with yourself and try to make a mutually beneficial decision. Take your time deciding. Talk more than once if you need to gather more info or find more helpful information to share. In the end if he's not into it, it doesn't sound like this would be a very healthy and rewarding relationship for you or him. And if he is into it, you've given him a wonderful intro into the community, and you have something you can work with

 

If you have any other questions, keep posting, keep asking, feel free to message me if you need a different perspective or get out of your head a little.

 

Good luck!

Thank you sooooo much for taking the time to write to me. It honestly means so much to me.

Your advice is really valuable to me and you have given me a lot of ideas for when I finally sit down to talk to him.

Feeling little to me feels natural, I'd feel sad if he didn't accept it as it would make me feel like he is not accepting me as a person.

Maybe once he has researched more about DDLG and understands more about it he will be more open to the idea. Knowledge is power after all ^~^

I love the idea of discussing and writing down what we like and don't like, and trying to come to a mutual decision.

I don't think it will be easy though, he's not great at communication but I will never know if DDLG can be part of our life I don't talk to him. I have to take that risk.

You have given me a big confidence boost to have this discussion with him.

This community is so kind and caring, I honestly want to cry (with happiness of course) from the support I've been given. I have never experienced such kindness and acceptance in my entire life.

Thank you again for your help and support, I honestly feel so so so grateful <3

[Guest Kittenx]

Yes, we are all here for you! :heart:

You're all so lovely :') :heart:

Edited November 6, 2016 by Kittenx

[Guest Kittenx]

I just wanted to update everybody who has kindly taken the time out of their day to talk to me. You're all wonderful.

I had a chat with my boyfriend last night and things didn't go well.

I explained that being little makes me feel happy, and he basically responded with "you shouldn't have to be little to be happy" and thinks I'm hiding behind the whole thing. He doesn't feel uncomfortable with me being little but said he prefers my personality when I'm not little. He doesn't want the responsibility of having to take care of me 24/7 and thinks that if I was little I'd stop doing my normal everyday things like chores and helping him around the house, and just have no responsibility what so ever.

As for the sippy cup situation, I asked why he pulled me away and his response was "because they were clearly baby cups".

I didn't get the solution i wanted but I appreciate his honesty. Honesty is very important to me.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I think if I was to continue my desires for being little it would tarnish my relationship.

I could easily be little on my own but I crave to be looked after, I'm very clingy and needy. I don't know if it would feel satisfying doing it on my own.

He is a great guy, he just doesn't want the DDLG lifestyle and I can't/won't force him.

I'm feeling very sad and disappointed. Just feeling very low at the moment...

You are all wonderful though and I thank you for all the help you've given me.

Edited November 7, 2016 by Kittenx

[studman9400]

I am sorry to hear your talk didnt go as well as you had hoped. I am a daddy, and when I was first introduced to the lifestyle, I thought all the bad stereotypes about it. It wasnt until I looked into it more and did my own research that I found it was actually what I enjoyed as a daddy type. To care for someone and see that they are taken care of. You said he liked the sex part of being a daddy, I am assuming you would call him daddy?  Most guys from what I have seen and I have talked to several littles in your situation, have only used the DD as a sex thing.  I hope that with more talk and  him doing research on his own, he will see what it really is about. As everyone has said, we are here for you , and hope that you find your space to be happy in.

[Guest Kittenx]

I am sorry to hear your talk didnt go as well as you had hoped. I am a daddy, and when I was first introduced to the lifestyle, I thought all the bad stereotypes about it. It wasnt until I looked into it more and did my own research that I found it was actually what I enjoyed as a daddy type. To care for someone and see that they are taken care of. You said he liked the sex part of being a daddy, I am assuming you would call him daddy? Most guys from what I have seen and I have talked to several littles in your situation, have only used the DD as a sex thing. I hope that with more talk and him doing research on his own, he will see what it really is about. As everyone has said, we are here for you , and hope that you find your space to be happy in.

Thank you for your reply, I can understand that DDLG has a bad stigma attached as well as stereotypes, and it can be hard for someone to fully understand the lifestyle. It would be amazing if he did some research into it on his own and became more comfortable with the idea, however i am not going to force him into doing it as i am fearful it could effect the relationship we have.

I can tell he knows im hurt, he has asked me if im okay today after our chat last night. I havent bothered to wear my kitten ears and tail today (which is very unusual for me) or make any effort with myself. He did question why i wasnt wearing my kitten gear. I can tell that he knows how upset i am. Its nice to see he cares about me.

As for the sexual aspect, i never call him daddy during sex. He has told me in the past how uncomfortable that is for him, however i do my usual little stuff during sex which he is fine with.

I am pretty new to DDLG and really wanted to explore it more as it just feels so right/natural to me, which is why im so hurt i suppose.

Thank you for the support, it means a lot to me

Edited November 7, 2016 by Kittenx

[Princess Joe Joe]

The best thing you can do is communicate! Funny fact: My Daddy thought it was weird at first too! He felt like a pedophile due to the stigmas, and thought it was kind of weird. He enjoyed it, but found it awkward and hard to tell me that's what he felt. I told him about how this community has nothing to do with children, and how it's something we can do in the comfort of our own home. He was still hesitant, which was very discouraging to me. Although, I started small. Light baby talk, cuddling, buying stuffies and referring to them as such. It was slow process, but still process! Eventually, he asked to see my AB // DD/lg centered tumblr. From there we built up very slowly, until we have formed the transparent and caring dynamic we have now!

 

I know the place you are at now, I was stuck there for a long time. The best advice I can give to you is:

1. Get rid of all the stigmas about it. Don't show him girls getting diapered and in onesies and sucking pacifiers at first. It's like sensory overload. Just clear all stigmas, but don't push the dynamic.

2. Begin to introduce things slowly. See how he responds. If he acts positively for a while, introduce a little bit more. I know it can be hard to restrain yourself. It's like as soon as you see him you are like," DADDY GIVE ME MY SIPPY CUP WITH JUICE AND LET ME SIT ON YOUR LAP AND WATCH TINKERBELL DADDY I WUFF YOU!" I know, it's a struggle. But just..very slow. A small bit of baby voice here, and little baby giggle there. Cuddle stuffies here, maybe even put your hair into low pigtails! Go off his responses.

3. NO MATTER WHAT DO NOT FORCE THIS IN HIM IF HE GENUINELY DOESNT FIT THE PART. He will get frustrated and you will feel unsatisfied. If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't. That sucks, but that's how it is I suppose. From here you can either leave him to find another partner to take part in your kink, you could ask your partner to allow you to have a BabySitter or Caregiver that can tend to your little side in a platonic way, or you can self-soothe and be little by yourself in your spare time. I hope this helped xoxo

[Guest Kittenx]

The best thing you can do is communicate! Funny fact: My Daddy thought it was weird at first too! He felt like a pedophile due to the stigmas, and thought it was kind of weird. He enjoyed it, but found it awkward and hard to tell me that's what he felt. I told him about how this community has nothing to do with children, and how it's something we can do in the comfort of our own home. He was still hesitant, which was very discouraging to me. Although, I started small. Light baby talk, cuddling, buying stuffies and referring to them as such. It was slow process, but still process! Eventually, he asked to see my AB // DD/lg centered tumblr. From there we built up very slowly, until we have formed the transparent and caring dynamic we have now!

 

I know the place you are at now, I was stuck there for a long time. The best advice I can give to you is:

1. Get rid of all the stigmas about it. Don't show him girls getting diapered and in onesies and sucking pacifiers at first. It's like sensory overload. Just clear all stigmas, but don't push the dynamic.

2. Begin to introduce things slowly. See how he responds. If he acts positively for a while, introduce a little bit more. I know it can be hard to restrain yourself. It's like as soon as you see him you are like," DADDY GIVE ME MY SIPPY CUP WITH JUICE AND LET ME SIT ON YOUR LAP AND WATCH TINKERBELL DADDY I WUFF YOU!" I know, it's a struggle. But just..very slow. A small bit of baby voice here, and little baby giggle there. Cuddle stuffies here, maybe even put your hair into low pigtails! Go off his responses.

3. NO MATTER WHAT DO NOT FORCE THIS IN HIM IF HE GENUINELY DOESNT FIT THE PART. He will get frustrated and you will feel unsatisfied. If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't. That sucks, but that's how it is I suppose. From here you can either leave him to find another partner to take part in your kink, you could ask your partner to allow you to have a BabySitter or Caregiver that can tend to your little side in a platonic way, or you can self-soothe and be little by yourself in your spare time. I hope this helped xoxo

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me.

It's very comforting to me knowing that despite your Daddy thinking it was weird at first soon warmed up to the idea. It gives me a glimmer of hope in my situation.

Your tips are super helpful and I can imagine it would be a long process easing him into the idea. I will definitely do the steps that you have mentioned and take things extremely slow, hoping he responds well to it. Like you say, it's a long process, but it's all progress at the same time!

I think the key for me is to give him time.

He has noticed that I've been less cuddly today, and he has said I'm not like my usual self (maybe this is a good sign as it shows he likes my cuddly/needy personality).

I totally agree that forcing him would be the worst thing I could do. I have to see it from his point of view, if he doesn't like it then it would be so horrible for me to force it upon him. However it wouldn't stop me from being little in my own time (even if I don't have a daddy). I also love the babysitter idea but fear he would see it as a threat because I'd be seeking out somebody else to be a carer, and he would probably feel inadequate.

Again, thank you for the support, those ideas are so helpful. I Just hope he will be open to DDLG eventually, I feel as if it would be really rewarding for us both xxx

[Kvasir]

I hid my kink from someone for a long time because they hinted that it was not their cup of tea. Fast forward 3 years and I get brave enough to bring it up and bam "you disgust me". No matter how much explaining, then she cheated and left.

Point is you can't change other people, I am now with a little and she is my world, I am happier than I have ever been. I held onto the past trying to make it something it wasn't because I thought I loved them but really I think I was just familiar with her, she was very mean on top of all that. Take care of yourself first, the right people will find you and accept you for who you are

[Kvasir]

I hope he can come through for you!

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I just wanted to to you a little bit about my Daddy...

 

He is 38 years old and didnt even know he was a natural Dom until his early thirties. When I discovered ddlg and approached it with him... he was adamant that he wanted nothing to do with it. I am a submissive in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic. He thought me being little would interfere with my duties as a submissive but after some discussion and maybe a little convincing - he agreed to embark on it with me. I have been an open little for quite a while now and honestly- once he seen that I could be little and still fulfill my requirements day to day he loves it. He loves how happy it makes me, he loves the feeling of being a care giver and our relationship have grown due to it.

 

Dominus had the poopy stereotypes in his head. Society paints a ba picture of people like us and it took him seeing it first hand and experiencing it to change his opinion.

 

Don't get discouraged if he doesn't warm up to it right away. This is a journey and there is no short cuts. Be understanding of his opinion and be respectful of where he stands on the issue but for some people they need to experience things first-hand to discover they may enjoy it.