Approaching DD/lg for the first time...

[Guest Polysexual369]

Hello everyone, I'm sure this topic get's danced around frequently, and I hate to be that guy on a forum who's constantly bringing up old news, but it's all new to me, so I'd like to ask some questions, and hopefully start making some friends.  I tried to get started on the chat room, but I can't keep up with that pace! 

 

So, directing this to everyone, what convinced you that this was the right lifestyle for you?  If you're a Caregiver, why do you enjoy being a Caregiver, and why did you decide it was right.  I know this is subjective, but humor me please, I appreciate other's perspectives.  For those of you that were on the fence at first, what did you do to get comfortable with that relationship dynamic?  As for the littles who may be reading, why did you decide it was the right dynamic?  Especially those of you who feel you're very mature and professional in your day-to-day life.  I'm sure many of you are attracted to confidence, but how would you suggest a new Caregiver become comfortable with this?

 

I know I'm being vague, I was asked not to be in the chatroom, but I really want to just get the conversation flowing and respond with appropriate questions.  If anyone wants to chat offline, great, and if you want to get to know me, even better; but I would really like to gear this discussion towards making that leap.  Also, please don't direct me to youtube or other sites... I've read and watched, and now I want a meaningful discussion with others in the lifestyle. 

 

Thank you, and I hope I'm not too off-putting!

 

Have a wonderful day!

[Beasourous]

I have always been a little, like its natural. 

 

Every little is different. I always say, be yourself. there are some traits that will appeal to the little one. Of course, i think the most important is to be sincere and really care.

 

Always start of with the mindset of making friends and if you find one that you click with, you can always work on it and get to know the little better.

[DaddyCue109]

I had been introduced to D/s relationships in a past relationship and at first it seemed so odd.

 

I'm a big intimidating looking guy who was raised to respect ladies. But I'm also a pleaser.

 

When I realized control and domination is what made her bunny jump I took right to it.

 

When I met my little. I had no idea she was a sub or little. But recognized some ques very quickly. Her previous BFs used her sub personality as a reason to treat her badly.

 

I saw that she was sweet, tender and vulnerable and my protective instincts went into high gear. I just wanted to protect her and be a good thing for her.

 

Subs and littles require extra care. But the feeling of being their protector, their "Daddy", feels amazing.

 

It's a lot more respondibility than any vanilla relationship. But being the caregiver to a sweet and pure heart who adores you is a reward that can't be experienced any other way.

 

I doubt I could be satisfied in a vanilla relationship again

[Guest Polysexual369]

Thank you both for the thoughtful replies, I greatly appreciate getting feedback.

 

Sincerity and caring aren't hard for me. I never saw myself as an alpha type personality growing up. I've always been thoughtful and reserved in a way. I too have always been a pleaser. Taking care of someones needs has always given me pleasure! I like knowing that I'm making other people happy. I actually realized my Dominant side through controlling my partners pleasure, more Sensual Dominance. Not just sexually, I just enjoy being the pleaser, or caregiver if you will. I've always thought of myself as nurturing, but it's that Daddy character that I find new and different. I'm not used to that, and am equally uncomfortable and excited at that prospect at the same time.

 

I hope I don't come across as a creep only exploring this sexually...

 

Thanks again

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Daddy and I started exploring D/s early in our relationship, a little over a year in, however we had been together for about 3-5 months when he asked me if I trusted him completely and that was our first experience with bondage. I have always been a little, just didn't know what it was called or that there was any such thing. Growing up, D/s scared me, I didn't understand it, and due to past pains, didn't feel I could ever trust someone enough to submit myself like that...

 

Yet still, I wanted a "traditonal" old-school relationship. I wanted a man who would ask me out, make the first move, make me feel special, and take control... I just didn't understand that what I wanted was a more gentle side of sub Dom.

 

We started our sub Dom tendencies in the bedroom only then ventured out, very slowly. It has just now became a 24/7 thing and we've been together for 4.5yrs.

 

I am a highly professional little who is in a management role. At work, I'm all business and take my job very seriously. My husband, who is my Daddy, can not believe how much different I am for work than outside of it. At home, I can't even order my own food at a resteraunt or make eye contact with a stranger.

 

Being little is a relief for me. There are others like me, I am normal, and I can be me and not stress and let Daddy take care of me. And I love that.

[Guest Polysexual369]

Thank you for the amazing response! I really appreciate that kind of insight, and I also feel a little less uncomfortable. I'll admit that this started as an exploration from bedroom activities, and it's nice to know it's a natural progression for others. I'm still trying to get comfortable with all of this, but knowing you view it primarily as a relief from work and hard life helps me understand better.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

It's a very frightening kink, at least starting out. I was a little afraid to tell Daddy at first that I was interested in Dom/sub and even more afraid to tell him I wanted to do DDlg full time. But it's sooo nice now.

 

For example, some girls at work and I are wanting to have a Christmas party. We did this last year at a resteraunt here in town. This year they're wanting to do it at their house, about 20min away, and they're wanting alcohol involved. I drink around Daddy, but I haven't ever drank when he wasn't around. I told him I was going, but wouldn't drink. He was upset and gave himself time to cool down and said "I want you to have fun with your friends, but an environment where I can't get to you right away and everyone is drunk at a house you aren't familiar with is not a safe sittuation for a little girl to be in." And that was it. He didn't tell me I couldn't go... he didn't need to. I don't think I'll go now, because he's right. I've never even been around drunk people before, and wouldn't know how to handle it if I were.

[Baby_squirrel]

I only found this forum last December. My being into ddlg isn't a dynamic I mentally decided was right for me. It's kind of natural to me. Finding out ddlg exsist has been more of a revelation that I have the permission to be little.

 

I've always been a little, but growing up my mother dispised 'weakness' and being 'over emotional'. All of which my sister was. Too protect her and myself I became a somewhat quiet dominant. I wasn't the nicest of people, a bit too blunt and surly when someone spoke to her or anyone I cared for in a way I didn't approve of. Though many people praised me for strong character, it wasn't my nature. It caused me a lot of stress to keep up my act.

 

I was burned out by the time I was 21. Long story short I thought I met someone who fit what I always wanted and needed (I thought he would make a good daddy before I knew the term even exisited). I slowly worked towards revealing myself (as what I now know is called a little). He didn't like it nor did his family. They made it quite clear that they didn't approve and many of the other people I showed my true self to didn't like my 'timid whimpy little girl act'.

 

It's been several years and I'm trying again, this time without needing anyone's approval and I love being my little self. I haven't gotten the true feel for having a CG the way I want one. I haven't ever been pampered or taken care of in the way I see daddies wanting to care for their littles, so I still have that to conquer. There is also my always being a caregiver and in being in charge, doing things on my own that's a major mountain to climb. Giving someone the reins and 'weakening' myself is a scary a thought. I know giving someone my trust isn't weakening myself. I know that thought stems partially from how I grew up. Clearly I have not managed to fully embrace all aspects of ddlg, but I'm happily working towards it.

 

Sorry if I rambled.