Discipline separate from punishment

[sensi808]

Hi there all. Recently, a little I've been getting to know asked me if I like to discipline, separate from punishment. I was unable to answer this question. I've never thought of the two as separate things. Additionally, my previous little loved to be punished, so she'd push buttons and break rules just for the punishment associated.

Basically, I'm just looking for examples of discipline that isn't punishment.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

She might be talking about you training her to do things like curtsey when you enter the room. Or sit at your feet, not being allowed to sit on the furniture without permission. Not being allowed to speak without permission, stuff like that. Discipline

[ziva vlad's kitten]

Why don't you ask her about what that means to her?

[LoralieHaze]

I'm pretty sure she's trying to ask you if you give spankings just for fun or only as punishment. A spanking can be just for fun, if the sub likes them because they're a masochist, or as punishment, if the sub doesn't like them. (Some people use spankings as a faux punishment but I don't believe in that because why have rules if you're not going to follow them? If someone wants a spanking, just beg politely.) Better punishments for a masochist would be taking away privileges or assigning laborious tasks. 

 

When you train someone to curtsy at a given time, or don't allow them to use furniture without permission, that is protocol (or more specifically, a ritual) and not a part of DDlg. Protocol is a part of Master/slave, a separate type of Dom/sub relationship.

 

Ziva is right though, you need to ask this person about what it means to her rather than asking us because we can only take a guess, some more educated than others. It's important to establish clear and honest communication from the very beginning and make sure that you two are always on the same page.

Edited October 31, 2016 by LittleKittenLo

[Guest RedDragon]

She might be talking about you training her to do things like curtsey when you enter the room. Or sit at your feet, not being allowed to sit on the furniture without permission. Not being allowed to speak without permission, stuff like that. Discipline

I like this answer a lot but I agree with little ziva. I don't think you'll know what she wants unless you have a conversation about it. Communication is key not just in Ddlg but in any relationship.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

I like this answer a lot but I agree with little ziva. I don't think you'll know what she wants unless you have a conversation about it. Communication is key not just in Ddlg but in any relationship.

Oh yeah, i was just throwing out an idea. I dont have the BDSM encylepedia memorized like the more educated posters on here.

 

To me, discipline implies more of the Master/sub aspect. Thats why i mentioned that. If the OP figures it out with his little, id love to hear what their interpretation is.

[Guest ZenDD]

"I'm pretty sure she's trying to ask you if you give spankings just for fun or only as punishment. A spanking can be just for fun, if the sub likes them because they're a masochist.."

 

I agree with this response. I think the little you're getting to know may be implying that she is open to masochism, although only a discussion with her would reveal if this is the case and to what extent, psychological (humiliation, for example) and/or physical (pain, discomfort). The idea of "...discipline, separate from punishment" seems to indicate a firm action (subjective to each of us) implemented for enjoyment as opposed to a corrective one used as a consequence for misbehavior. "Misbehavior and punishment roleplay" is something that is practiced by many and often not conveyed as being distinctive from real misbehavior and punishment, which definitely exists in different types of D/s relationships, especially those that are M/s or M/s "flavored". 

 

Your question is a good one, as many of us straddle lines between "real" and "roleplay" with regards to D/s. Punishment, of course, is a technique utilized to implement discipline. While both are related in this way, they obviously are not the same thing. There are tools within discipline, too, such as rules. The training of the following of rules, along with punishments and rewards as consequences to how well rules are followed, are all elements which create and nurture discipline. These are the distinctions we should all discuss with our D/s partners to understand what each other's true definitions and interpretations are regarding discipline, rules, behavior, and punishment. Take care, good luck!

Edited October 31, 2016 by ZenDD

[Johnny Hammersticks]

I dont know man, spanking is punishment. If she enjoys it, its "funishment".

Discipline is different, discipline is non physical. Discipline is like, "do this the way i want you to, or else."

Thats the way i view it, the OP's question is how is discipline different than punishment.

[sensi808]

I appreciate all the insight! Since I made this post, we did in fact have the discussion about what it meant to her. It was more ways to help keep her from reverting to her bratty self. We haven't come across any solid ideas yet, but we're still discussing them. We kept coming back to pseudo rules, like quiet time, media free time. Ways to keep her grounded and out of trouble.

[Guest Hisgirl_leilei]

Discipline, to me, means rules and expectations and teaching when an expectation isn't met due to lack of knowledge or understanding . Punishment is what happens when one breaks the rules intentionally. Put it this way, if I expect you to put your clothes in the hamper and you don't do so.. If you didn't know that, discipline is explaining it and making you go back and do it correctly. Punishment is more for willfully refusing, in which case you might see corner time or spanking (if that's not a fun time activity). But as others have said, YMMV and that's just based on my experience