A really big secret!

[FLdaddy]

Ok I have been seeing this question a lot and also have been asked by many in just the past few days. So here goes lol. The question, in question (see what I did there lol) is about rules or guidelines for being a little, sub, slave, dom, master, daddy, or whatever title or label you identify with. (More on titles and labels in a moment!) Ok everyone here is the big secret of the bdsm community! You ready for this?

 

There are no set rules for being whatever you want to call yourself. There are no guidelines to follow to be. I have told you that every one is different and we all have different likes and dislikes. That's why baskin robins has 31 flavors lol. The thing we as a whole need to understand is that if we are with our partner (no matter the dynamic) and we are having fun, consensual, and safe with each other then we are doing it right. That's all that matters. Who cares what others think of how we are? For example if you call yourself a little but have a submissive side as well then you can be that!

 

The whole title and label thing is a joke as well. Everyone is so obsessed with what to call themselves. I will use me as an example. I'm a daddy dom, dom, master, trainer, and mentor. Now how am I supposed to describe that in an introduction. I can just as I did but I am more of a daddy dom vs the others. So that is what I call myself. All the titles and labels do for us as a whole help others identify with what our kink level is if you will. So we can attract others to us involved with the same dynamic. Now only we can make up our minds of who and what we are.

 

Now with all that said just be happy with yourself and who you are. Then you can find a partner who gives your the respect you deserve and treat you the way you need to be treated. Then it is between the two of you to make up your own rules and follow them. Once you do this and stop worrying about the outside influences your relationship will blossom.

 

Now I may be way off my rocker and have no clue what the hell I am taking about lol. That is another beautiful part of our community. We can all have our opinions and still be respected for having them. To bad the rest of the world can't follow suit with our example. Thanks for reading and comments are welcome. I will love to hear your point of view!

[Guest ZenDD]

Exactly. There is no official BDSM Rules and Regulations Association whose guidelines need to be followed in order to participate or incorporate BDSM concepts such as DDlg/CGl into our lives. While DDlg/CGl is inherently a relationship of the D/s dynamic variety, no one is breaking any rules by incorporating other concepts or ignoring certain ones. Asking for specific information or advice is healthy, but asking for permission to interpret concepts as you choose to and live life by your own rules (as long as we aren't hurting others) is unnecessary and illogical.

 

With respect for one another, an awareness of safety, attention paid to mental and physical health, and complete consent, our psychology and practices regarding one's own life are one's own choice. As long as we understand that living with our own choices also means living with the associated consequences/results, we are on a healthy path.

 

There is no one way to experience life. No one needs to ask if it's okay to be a little and not be submissive, or to be a CG and not be Dominant, if it's okay for littles to not be interested in stuffies, coloring, paci's, or rules, or whether it's okay for a Daddy or Mommy to want to be little sometimes. All of these questions, and questions like them, can only be answered by the person asking them. Asking questions such as these is the equivalent of asking if it's okay if you don't like onions on your burger. We should follow our bliss, live with our natural tendencies and identity, and not force ourselves into doing something or thinking a certain way in order to fit in.

 

If one has to ask how to be a little, or a Daddy, then DDlg/CGl is not for you. That's like asking how to be artistically or mechanically inclined, or how to be heterosexual. It's hard to accept who we truly are sometimes, and even harder to live it. But those that do tend to be far happier and healthier. Let's keep working on being aware of our identities, desires, needs, and proud of who we are as individuals. Let's keep working on not asking for permission to experience life in our own way.

Edited October 29, 2016 by ZenDD