"Not telling" with genders

[Aqu45]

Does anyone else's little red flag go up when you get a friend request, look at the person profiles and they're "not telling" their gender? It just confuses me why people don't want to say...it kinda makes me feel like they're hiding something and they're one of the creepy people...

[Guest LiddlePwincess]

Perhaps they just missed that part or maybe their gender is a little more complicated than most others? If it makes you uncomfortable you could always ask them about it and if your still not happy then you have the choice to not contact them further, or possibley not add them at all.

[Guest]

Could be they never got around to changing and forgot it or just lazy and didn't bother to pick. Or as above said maybe they dont feel male or female suits them. Probably a good idea to look up non binary and gender queer to learn more about it.

 

But yeah still be on the look out, there are some super creeps regardless if their gender is filled in or not.

[Guest]

Oops double posted. Delete this if staff comes acrossed it please and thank you Edited October 28, 2016 by Guest

[Guest Mango the froot with boobs]

I know for some people they use it as a way to guard against creeps who go after people of a certain gender.

[Guest ZenDD]

If you want to be friends with someone, does it matter what gender they associate with, or if they associate with gender at all? It's okay if it matters to you, but you should be aware that gender issues are the current main issue with regards to civil rights issues. Gender association is separate, independent from sexual orientation. The psychological and/or social challenges for some people regarding gender association is nothing new. These issues are as old as humanity. Many cultures have incorporated concepts of "third genders" in their society. Most of those cultures are not Judeo-Christian. But in the Judeo-Christian world, like the West, our binary perspectives regarding gender are firmly indoctrinated, and so it takes a bit of reaching for some in our society to be willing to look around this viewpoint, and to be open to not only ideas of "other gender" associations but even ideas of "non gender". It's important to note that, scientifically speaking, gender isn't something that only relates to genitals, it's a psychological identity, a state-of-mind.

 

Of course, we as humans feel more comfortable with as much information as we can get out of strangers. Associating someone with a particular gender tends to affect how we communicate with someone. But I think the time has come to stretch that tendency and begin to learn to be more open with regards to how we interpret a person's motivations based on our "clarity" on their gender. It's normal to be skeptical when people don't want to share certain things, but unless you want to form a romantic and/or sexual connection with someone and gender is something that is important to you to do that, maybe gender shouldn't be one of those things to be suspicious of someone about. 

Edited October 28, 2016 by ZenDD

[Harley_Quinn]

Some people have genders that aren't always easy to explain using a label. If you ask them they'll try to explain to you probably

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I didn't realize there was a gender option because I rarely get online on my computer and it doesn't show that on my phone.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

Some people just don't think it matter. Some people don't want to be judged by their gender. Some people don't feel comfortable sharing that information with the whole wide world((I know I'd rather not have my age show, but I can't figure out how to change that)). Some people just don't think about it. Some people don't want to be ignored for being a female or male. Some people don't feel that their gender is covered or listed as an option. Some people are trying to trick you and take advantage you. Some people don't want to get hit on. Some people don't want to get friend requests just because of their gender. Some people want to use you. 

 

The reasons are as different as people.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I think the format for the profiles should be set so you can type in your gender rather than select it from a list. It's damn near 2017 and it seems a bit archaic to have the simple male, female or not telling options. We all know gender is much more complex than what is dangling (or not dangling) between your legs and it is most definitely not a black and white thing.

 

If it's just for making friends their gender shouldn't matter and if a romantic thing I truly hope you're talking to them enough to know their sexual identity and orientation.

[skipro101]

I prefer that gender is not an issue unless it's used for the baby making process. Guys and girls can do most things the same so why categorize them?

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I prefer that gender is not an issue unless it's used for the baby making process. Guys and girls can do most things the same so why categorize them?

When it comes to friendship you are absolutely right! However, some people here are looking for partners. In that case it is extremely important to be clear and open about your gender (regardless of what it is). It is unfair to mislead people. So it's a little more complex than just procreation. If you are looking to have an intimate connection you need to be forthcoming. I think that's where this whole thing started.