My Littles head space little/big

[Daddydom1337]

I'm a first time Daddy my little has been a little for almost a year. Generally if she is little I'm Daddy when she is big I'm her best friend... is this normal and do the rules apply when she isn't little? She said they don't but to me thathat doesn't make sense to me... shouldn't some rules like personal hygiene or boy rules always apply? Like for example she forgets to eat all the time so there is a rule about eating 2 meals a day when she is big she forgets or just doesn't eat....

 

How do other Littles and daddy's handle big space and little space? And is there a Daddy space and not daddy's space?

[LoralieHaze]

Judging by this post and the one you made yesterday, it really sounds like 1) she is using you and 2) neither of you are ready to be in a DDlg relationship, or perhaps even any relationships at all. Even though you're right that rules apply all the time, I think it would greatly benefit you to leave your current relationship, do some maturing, and educate yourself more on how DDlg dynamics are supposed to work.

[Daddydom1337]

well what what i read ddlg dynamics can work however the two people agree to make them work.... that is why I asked how others handle big vs little space

[HeCallsMePrincess]

that's a hard question because it's not always big vs little. some littles dont' have a "little space" some are little all the time, some are little and big together. but I also agree with little kitten

[LoralieHaze]

well what what i read ddlg dynamics can work however the two people agree to make them work.... that is why I asked how others handle big vs little space

 

I understand that but what I'm trying to tell you is that (from my perspective) your issues with your current relationship are much broader than what you're asking about in this thread. If we give you the answers that you're looking for here, that might help you a long time down the road but it won't fix the situation you're in now. To put it metaphorically, I think your house in on fire but you're asking us how to get a stain off the carpet. Do you see what I mean? I'm sorry if it seems like I'm jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, I'm just going on what you've told us so far.

 

Just to appease you and/or anyone else wanting to know the answer to your question, I will say something about that as well. You're right that DDlg dynamics can work however the two people want them to. Again I shall reiterate that you're also correct that rules do apply all the time, not just in little space. Not every DDlg relationship has rules though, nor does every little have/go into little space. As my Daddy explains it, little space and Daddy space are mental "zones" that we get into, a concept which is not at all exclusive to DDlg or even to BDSM. To put things very simply, being in those zones doesn't change who we are, they just temporarily put us into another state of mind. 

 

From what you've told us about your little, I think she uses little space as a way to shirk responsibilities and manipulate you. Yes, some littles do use their little space as escapism, but not as an excuse to avoid being an adult. If someone is using any part of the DDlg lifestyle to completely avoid being an adult or completely avoid taking/having responsibility, that's not healthy and not the way that this is supposed to work.

Edited October 24, 2016 by LittleKittenLo

[Daddydom1337]

I understand that but what I'm trying to tell you is that (from my perspective) your issues with your current relationship are much broader than what you're asking about in this thread. If we give you the answers that you're looking for here, that might help you a long time down the road but it won't fix the situation you're in now. To put it metaphorically, I think your house in on fire but you're asking us how to get a stain off the carpet. Do you see what I mean? I'm sorry if it seems like I'm jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, I'm just going on what you've told us so far.

 

Just to appease you and/or anyone else wanting to know the answer to your question, I will say something about that as well. You're right that DDlg dynamics can work however the two people want them to. Again I shall reiterate that you're also correct that rules do apply all the time, not just in little space. Not every DDlg relationship has rules though, nor does every little have/go into little space. As my Daddy explains it, little space and Daddy space are mental "zones" that we get into, a concept which is not at all exclusive to DDlg or even to BDSM. To put things very simply, being in those zones doesn't change who we are, they just temporarily put us into another state of mind. 

 

From what you've told us about your little, I think she uses little space as a way to shirk responsibilities and manipulate you. Yes, some littles do use their little space as escapism, but not as an excuse to avoid being an adult. If someone is using any part of the DDlg lifestyle to completely avoid being an adult or completely avoid taking/having responsibility, that's not healthy and not the way that this is supposed to work.

 

 

I would say her little space has a different personally she is almost a competently different person then when she isn't little. She wanted us to be friends when she wasn't little and we have done that a few times around her parents or friends which they all think we are just best friends and even just planed ahead of time alone watching tv as friends although that didn't last long she went into little space soon after coming over.... A few of her likes are different too.

 

I found out about an hr ago that I really didn't understand what she really meant by when she is little she wants her daddy but if she isn't she wants her friend.... she I asked her a bunch of questions about it and gave a few what ifs to make sure i understood it.... since I realized after her replies I really didn't understand 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

This whole thing is very confusing to me...

As a little... rules always apply, weather I'm in little space or not. And I always want my Daddy. I may want him in different ways, but I always want him. Not following rules isn't acceptable, regardless of if I'm in little space or not.

[lilsnoopy]

Dd/lg is a intimate relationship and it is build on honesty and trust. Honestly based on the post from yesterday I highly agree with Littlelo. 

 Ok so yes, ddlg can work if both want it to work and put effort into it. To put it simply she was physical with another guy and it bothered you and you lashed out, then forgave her without addressing the problem, that is what i'm gathering. Just because she is a 'little' and you are a 'daddy' doesn't mean you will work out as a daddy and little together. There should have been rules set up from the beginning, expectations and outlines discussed. You seem inexperienced and she hasn't communicated and neither have you. There are several bumps here that will be hard to smooth out. I suggest you take a break, learn more and have her do the same. Then if you decide to precede, talk to her about her guy friend and sort that out. But leaving the relationship is an option. With so many lies already in the relationship, that the trust that dd/lg is build on isn't there. You lashing out at her the other day probably didn't do anything to help. It is a mess. It's not my relationship so it's up to you but that's my opinion. 

Edited October 25, 2016 by lilsnoopy

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Okay so after reading your post from the other day, I have to agree with what the others have said. This relationship seems highly disfunctional. When she knew it bothered you, she should have either gone elsewhere or stopped. You should have spoken to her about your feelings. None of this is healthy.

[Guest BWR46]

It honestly sounds like you two need to step back, take a break, and figure out what you truly want on your own. You need to figure it out for you, and your little needs to figure it out for her. Based off your post the other day and this today, you two are not in a healthy situation and it will just keep getting worse in my opinion. Take time apart, and figure out what you want in your little, then after you two take time (at least a week) to think things over, sit down and discuss what you each expect from your partner and what you do want and do not want in a dd/lg relationship.

[Daddydom1337]

Thank you everyone....

[Littlest_Lushie]

Hope its not too late for me to throw in my 2 cents.

 

1. She wants a Daddy when little, and NOT a relationship when big. She is using you to fulfill a lonely spot or a void, only when little because when little it can be more difficult to handle being lonely.

 

2. You want more. She doesn't. She is playing games with your head to appeal to your Daddy side only when convenient for her.

 

3. You clearly aren't her first choice, sadly. I know it hurts. But, you need to find a little who will love you when little AND big. 

 

I'm sure you can tell by now that this isn't a good situation for you. I wish you the best and just know that its okay to grieve. But, you need to take a step back. Littles aren't the only ones who can be manipulated by Doms, Doms can be manipulated by Littles too. 

 

Do your research, find out what YOU like. And then seek others who want the same- without question is my tip.