How to come out to people about being into DD/LG?

[JimMoriartysKitten]

My friends know that I'm into ddlg and they're fine with it. I wore a tail one day and my mom said it didn't look appropriate for someone my age. She tells me to grow up and stop being childish. I've really been keeping this secret in and I think that it's ready to come out. Any advice?

[LoralieHaze]

In order to give you advice, I need to ask two questions. 1) Why are you letting your mother tell you what is and isn't appropriate for you to wear? 2) Why do you believe its necessary to disclose your sexual proclivities to your mother?

[Guest PrincessCakes]

Well ddlg doesn't have to be sexual it can be a 24/7 thing, but in most cases the best choice is to just keep it to yourself because it's kind of taboo.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

Being Little doesn't have anything to do with being sexual. There are handfuls of Asexual Littles out there.

 

I'd say ignore your mother, it's you're life, live it for you. You don't need to explain CG/L to people to just be yourself. So what if you like to wear a tail? You wear it, cause you like it and you want to. You wear it for you, end of story. I mean, it's not like your running around in super sulty/sexy outfits showing off all your "cookies" to the world right? You're not hurting anyone or anything, your not causing harm.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

just be yourself. its no one elses business.

[Guest BWR46]

Do what makes you happy. If others want to judge you about it, to hell with them. I've had to cut a lot of people out of my life for passing judgment on me and my choices and at first it was hard, but after a little while I was much happier. Like the other people on here said, do what makes you happy!

[Thequeen]

A few of you kind of snapped on LittleKittenLo for her comment on it being a sexual endeavor to be a little but I don't think that's quite fair to her. In general, this lifestyle does enforce sex, again in general. But you are all correct in not ALL do. But whether it does or doesn't have to do with sex shouldn't be affecting our ability to reply to this girl asking for help and should also not cause us all to jump down her throats about one generalizing statement.

 

Now, per your question. To tell or not to tell us obviously up to you. However, I would consider what your mother is like before you decide what path to follow. Some more conservative parents might not be able to wrap their heads around this so it might but some distance between you which is something none of us would want for you. Most people do only tell their friends and relationship partners as it can be kind of awkward and overly intimate. If you do wish to tell her, make sure you give her lots of time to think about it all and come to terms with it.

 

Good luck and keep us posted with how it goes!

-TheQueen

[Trash Queen]

You have no obligation to tell anyone about your personal life. Who you are is who you are and you don't have to explain it.

 

If you feel you have to let her know, then just explain why you do it. Most littles seem to do it as an escape from stress or to calm themselves. Just let her know you occasionally like to do childlike things because it makes you calm. As long as you generally take responsibility when it's needed, it should be fine.

 

Or just do whatever you want and don't worry about her. Keep in mind that it's usually worry or fear that makes (most) parents make comments like that. It's a deep seated fear their child won't be able to handle the responsibilities of life or will be ostracized for their behaviors. Now some parents are just nuts, but you know your mother better than I do. In my experience mothers just worry about their kids and sometimes channel it through being chastising.

[LoralieHaze]

A few of you kind of snapped on LittleKittenLo for her comment on it being a sexual endeavor to be a little but I don't think that's quite fair to her. In general, this lifestyle does enforce sex, again in general. But you are all correct in not ALL do. But whether it does or doesn't have to do with sex shouldn't be affecting our ability to reply to this girl asking for help and should also not cause us all to jump down her throats about one generalizing statement.

 

Thank you for defending me, although I don't feel that any throat-jumping occurred. We all have the right to disagree.

 

I phrased my post that way on purpose 1) to gauge OP's reaction of what role DDlg plays in her life and 2) because she specifically asked how to tell her mother that she was into DDlg, instead of how to tell her mother that she's a little. I get the feeling that I was the only one who picked on that phrasing.

 

I get the strong vibe from OP that she's one of the people who thinks of Cgl as a clothing style or social club rather than a part of BDSM, namely because wearing a tail has nothing to do with it, but also because she tagged this post with pacifier, onesie, stuffie, and teddy bear. Since she was only on here once, I doubt any of this is all that important to her, or that she's going to read any of our replies.

 

*gets on soapbox* What a lot of people seem to be ignoring or just not aware of is the fact that DDlg (or the gender neutral term, Cgl) is a Dom/sub relationship dynamic and therefore a part of BDSM. Not all relationships in this dynamic have to be sexual, just as not every BDSM activity has to be sexual, but make no mistake that that is the exception and by no means the rule. Just because some littles are asexual, that doesn't mean that being little has nothing to do with sexuality, since they're the outliers. The reason that this is taboo is because it is sexual in nature. There's a widespread lack of research among the members of this forum and I believe that this is leading people to not recognize that modifying this dynamic to suit their own needs doesn't modify it for the world at large. *gets off soapbox*

[Thequeen]

Thank you for defending me, although I don't feel that any throat-jumping occurred. We all have the right to disagree.

 

*gets on soapbox* What a lot of people seem to be ignoring or just not aware of is the fact that DDlg (or the gender neutral term, Cgl) is a Dom/sub relationship dynamic and therefore a part of BDSM. Not all relationships in this dynamic have to be sexual, just as not every BDSM activity has to be sexual, but make no mistake that that is the exception and by no means the rule. Just because some littles are asexual, that doesn't mean that being little has nothing to do with sexuality, since they're the outliers. The reason that this is taboo is because it is sexual in nature. There's a widespread lack of research among the members of this forum and I believe that this is leading people to not recognize that modifying this dynamic to suit their own needs doesn't modify it for the world at large. *gets off soapbox*

 

Amen sister!

[Guest RedDragon]

I think sometimes we (or me at least) get tired of hiding who we really are and are guided into a false sense of security, where we feel safe enough or comfortable enough to just let it all out. Unfortunately, people will use anything they can against you to make themselves feel better. I wish we lived in a world where we didn't have to worry about being looked at differently or lesser simply because we like different things than the majority. Contrary to popular belief, where I live (the US) is not the land of the free. It's the land of You Better Fit In or you risk being ostracized. Come out but know that it likely won't feel good when you get the ridiculous reactions you'll inevitably get. Family, on the other hand, should behave like family and accept you no matter what. I hope that's true for you!