Daddy's (chick) friend

[raptorkitty]

Hi hi! 

 

So, I kind of have a rant. Not so much looking for specific advice or anything, more seeing if my feelings are valid and if how i see it, others also see it the same way or similar. Thank you

 

So, my daddy has a friend, whom he has slept with before him and I were in a relationship (Daddy and I were romantically involved though so it broke a little trust as you will probably see through my text.) Anyways, My daddy told me that I can decide on whether they can be friends and if at any point I'm uncomfortable, i can say it. I've told him that I'd like them to stay friends. 

 

My daddy's friend got in a relationship and had slowly stopped talking to my daddy, so most of my worries/insecurities began to fade. Recently though, she broke up with the dude and immediately after breaking up with him she went to my daddy to talk about it. Which I know you lean on friends for support but its not like they've know each other for years, maybe a year. And in my experience whenever I broke up with someone, the guy i usually went to, i didn't exactly have pure intentions. So I worry a lot about her intentions. They've been talking a little more now that she's not in a relationship (mind you, I have full access to the messages.) One of the times he messaged her, she answered back with "HEY!!!           " Which struck a nerve. And now today, she messaged him and while she was messaging him she send a photo of her face with crossed eyes, and she said "incase you forgot what i looked like." It made me a bit uncomfortable. Not anything my daddy said, or did, just her. 

 

Would any other little feel a bit uncomfortable with the closeness she shows? or is it just me. I had asked him why she sent a photo of herself and he said "she's just silly like that." I can't tell if she's crossing a couple boundaries now that she's single, or whether it just me being insecure. But it seemed like any time my daddy brought me up in the conversation and how we were moving in together, she would change the subject. 

[sighing]

I don't think you're alone in feeling threatened. I wouldn't like my hypothetical girlfriend constantly getting texted by her old partner and getting sent hearts. What I suggest is that you talk to him about it. Let him know that you are feeling threatened and if he respects you he will tell her to back off.

 

Communication is key to a lasting relationship. Don't forget that

Edited October 21, 2016 by SighingMan

[Guest JessTuesday]

I'd ask him to say something to her about boundaries, and let her know that she's making you uncomfortable.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone, my daddy... had sex with someone when we were romantically involved, so I can understand the trust issues and it's a somewhat betrayal, we weren't 'official', but in my mind we were, he regrets it though but it still plays at the back of my mind when he goes to work (he works just round the corner from her house), luckily for me though, they hate each other.

 

Your daddy's friend is definitely breaching a boundary here and your daddy should know that this would make you feel uncomfortable as if the tables were turned, he'd be uncomfortable with it. My daddy is still friends with people he's slept with and one of them, despite being in a relationship, harbours a lot of feelings for him xD but I'm not the least bit threatened because I know what me and daddy have is on a totally different level and it's real.. Plus, they're not nice women, inside or out, so that helps, hehe ^^ not to sound horrible or anything, but they're not. >_< 

 

If it were me, I'd ask him to stop contact because it's not appropriate and it really doesn't help with insecurities. I know it sucks to ask someone to stop being friends, but it's all a bit too suspicious that she started talking to your daddy as soon as she's single, sure she needs support, but isn't there other people she can turn to? She should respect your relationship with him or stay away. Simple.

 

My opinion ^^ 

[PrincessAisling]

I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone, my daddy... had sex with someone when we were romantically involved, so I can understand the trust issues and it's a somewhat betrayal, we weren't 'official', but in my mind we were, he regrets it though but it still plays at the back of my mind when he goes to work (he works just round the corner from her house), luckily for me though, they hate each other.

 

Your daddy's friend is definitely breaching a boundary here and your daddy should know that this would make you feel uncomfortable as if the tables were turned, he'd be uncomfortable with it. My daddy is still friends with people he's slept with and one of them, despite being in a relationship, harbours a lot of feelings for him xD but I'm not the least bit threatened because I know what me and daddy have is on a totally different level and it's real.. Plus, they're not nice women, inside or out, so that helps, hehe ^^ not to sound horrible or anything, but they're not. >_<

 

If it were me, I'd ask him to stop contact because it's not appropriate and it really doesn't help with insecurities. I know it sucks to ask someone to stop being friends, but it's all a bit too suspicious that she started talking to your daddy as soon as she's single, sure she needs support, but isn't there other people she can turn to? She should respect your relationship with him or stay away. Simple.

 

My opinion ^^

I totally agree and I've experienced this before as well. It almost seems obvious that there's some sort of agenda.

[SassyAssyBrat]

I agree with JessTuesday in that your daddy should say something and set boundaries. If it's making you uncomfortable, then it is his job as your daddy to fix it.

 

That being said, I am still bff's with someone I had sex with prior to my relationship with Daddy, and though we send each other things just as your daddy and his friend do, there is NOTHING there for either of us. He is my friend, and Daddy has full access to everything (which my buddy knows) so there will be no misunderstandings.

 

Just my two cents.

[MisterMomo]

Oh... I do not tolerate guys that slept with mommy before... I become hostile and I am not good for compromize... We do not see these people. Mommy has one or two in her Facebook friends, that's all. I can read her facebook so no mystery there.

 

Mommy can have friends in life that are guys... she has plenty of friends like that... she even shared a bed with a friend (girl) once this week to save $ on a hotel room.

 

Cannot talk for everyponies, but I am not talking with girls I slept with before.. and I'd expect the same from mommy. (We are exclusive and engaged).

 

Even if Im okay with other situation...I would not be OkaY with the situation you are talking about ..

[HeCallsMePrincess]

Everything about your post makes me uncomfortable for you. First of all, your feelings are always valid. Second, your instincts are IMO. That girl is not just looking for a friend and if he cannot set appropriate boundaries with her, he probably should cut off communication entirely.

[PrettyLittlePrincessAlison]

I agree with MisterMomo. When Daddy and I signed our contract, one of the things in there is no contact (at all) with anyone one of us had been romantically or sexually involved with before other than with the mother of his children. We both also have full and complete access to the others devices. We both have a fair amount of insecurities because of our pasts and this helps alleviate that. Also communication is super important. When we signed our contract we each told whoever we needed to that we would no longer be interacting with them because the interactions made us uncomfortable while pursuing a serious/committed relationship. If you do tell him that you dont want him talking to her anymore, when he tells her, it needs to sound like it is coming from him. He cant say "my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to you anymore." It needs to be "i am in a relationship and your comments make me uncomfortable."

[raptorkitty]

i think I'm a little on the opposite... the people he's shown love to has helped make him who he is. And i love seeing what part of someone, he's added to himself (friends, ex lovers, ex relationships, family.) I personally believe that trying to "erase" anyone whom he has loved won't do me any good and has only caused me damage by worrying about it. However, I believe that every friendship that he keeps with an ex... boundaries should be drawn. There was only one her, But theres also only one me. Their relationship ended for a reason and i have to trust that HE won't cross boundaries. My concern was for her, i don't think she understand that.

 

Anyways, i talked to daddy, and he said he saw my point of view and understood my concerns. He said that if he catches her doing it again, he'd put her in her place and express HIS discomfort with it. It made me really happy to hear him understand my feelings. He did show any "upset" feelings. Which was a good sign for me cause i feel like if anyone gets defensive, they have something to hide.

 

(side note though, i don't believe recent ex's should be contacted for a while)

[Guest Sexycurvyprincess]

i think I'm a little on the opposite... the people he's shown love to has helped make him who he is. And i love seeing what part of someone, he's added to himself (friends, ex lovers, ex relationships, family.) I personally believe that trying to "erase" anyone whom he has loved won't do me any good and has only caused me damage by worrying about it. However, I believe that every friendship that he keeps with an ex... boundaries should be drawn. There was only one her, But theres also only one me. Their relationship ended for a reason and i have to trust that HE won't cross boundaries. My concern was for her, i don't think she understand that.

 

Anyways, i talked to daddy, and he said he saw my point of view and understood my concerns. He said that if he catches her doing it again, he'd put her in her place and express HIS discomfort with it. It made me really happy to hear him understand my feelings. He did show any "upset" feelings. Which was a good sign for me cause i feel like if anyone gets defensive, they have something to hide.

 

(side note though, i don't believe recent ex's should be contacted for a while)

That's good. I'm glad things worked out.

 

I'm the type of person who needs to be constantly reassured that someone loves me, so something like this would probably shatter me to the core. The feelings you had are understandable.