Help please :(

[Aqu45]

My daddy just told me that he hates it when I cuddle and kiss him, and he hates doing it to me, I only feel close to him during sexy time and it just doesn't feel right, what do I do?

[Guest tdebr]

that doesn't sound like a good daddy or a healthy relationship if it doesn't feel right maybeits best to not be in that situation

[Guest QueenJellybean]

This is very confusing and there's a lot of information missing here.

 

While I can understand why it would be upsetting to hear that your partner doesn't want to kiss or cuddle you, it isn't unheard of. I'm not very big on physical affection, and I don't like to be kissed on my mouth. I can also cuddle for only a very short period of time. This doesn't mean I don't love my partner. If we're saying that your partner's choices aren't healthy, then neither is the fact that you say you only feel close to your partner during intimate moments. Do you see how that sounds? Neither of these things are wrong. 

 

However, I do think you need to sit down with your partner and find out /why/ he doesn't like these things. That's probably the best advice I can give you. You can start addressing the problem once you know exactly what it is. Because you should have two very different responses if he just doesn't want to be around you anymore, or if he just doesn't think he can handle physical touch in those ways. 

[Guest JessTuesday]

I'm also not a cuddler. Like, please don't touch me. So, he probably just doesn't like to be touched.

[sighing]

It sounds like you two are looking for different things in a relationship. He already told you that he hates physical contact, and it seems that's something that you absolutely need in a relationship. Maybe it's time to break up so both of you can find someone compatible.

Edited October 18, 2016 by SighingMan

[Guest Moonpie]

I think you should talk to him first, try to find out why he probably doesn't like cuddling, Communication is key and ask yourself if you are happy without that intimacy. Also you said you only feel close during your sexy time. That to me doesn't sound very positive. Have you guys tried doing any other activities together that isn't sexual, probably watching movies or whatnot.

[Guest thequeenslittle]

when my mommy and i first were getting into ddlg in our relationship i know i didnt particularly like cuddling with her. However once she talked to me about it and let me know that cuddling was very important to her and that it was a way she felt intimate and close with me we had a very open dialogue about it. After we discussed both of our feelings about cuddling and intimacy and once i understood it was an emotional need of hers we were able to communicate so that i was able to meet her needs without it being out of my comfort zone. maybe just try discussing it and see if you guys are able to compromise and meet each others needs. if you guys discuss it and arent able to meet each others needs then you perhaps need to think of seeing other people if your not able to compromise in your relationship

[Aqu45]

We have talked about it, a lot actually, I told him I would try to respect his physical limits but cuddling and such are very important to me. They really just enforce everything that he feels for me...

[Guest QueenJellybean]

We have talked about it, a lot actually, I told him I would try to respect his physical limits but cuddling and such are very important to me. They really just enforce everything that he feels for me...

 

If that's the case, then it seems like you both want very different things out of your relationship. I'm sorry to hear that. However, neither of you can force each other to do things they aren't comfortable with. 

[Aqu45]

I think you may be right about that...he's only messaged me once today (that's not like him) and all it said was "sorry I didn't talk today, was busy. We need to talk tomorrow"

So something tells me that tomorrow we're breaking up and it's probably for the best

[Guest thequeenslittle]

whatever happens it will be ok youll find someone who is perfect for you and who can meet your needs for intimacy and understand your need for the cuddling! you deserve attention and i know for me mommy messaging me a lot and it being meaningful conversation is part of the way i feel her attention. if you need someone to talk to about anything shoot me a message  im always happy to help and talk. i hope everything is going well for you regardless