New Daddy needing advice

[NewDaddy93]

Hi all!!

 

I am writing seeking some advice to be a great daddy... My ex partner is a little and is also new to the scene but much more advanced and natural than I am.

 

I am naturally caring and dominant including things like being in charge of real life issues finances DIY etc, I always do things like little treats and candy and that sort of thing before even knowing about DDLG. The problem i faced was my partner is in little space 24/7 and sometimes I would like the adult/responsible side to come out in serious situations or when needed. This caused a few problems and made me become resentful which I hate because that's not who I am...

 

What I now want to try to establish is what things can I do to be a good Daddy other than the obvious 'little' gifts and praises and how should I approach her not being little constantly?

 

I dont mind that by any means its just sometimes if arguments arose or she made big issues (commonly overspending!) what could i do to bring her out of little space or is this not how it works? She states it is a lifestyle which I fully understand but is it supposed to be full time or does it vary?

 

Sorry for the long message I just want to be a great daddy and learn more! I am not sure where to begin or what things to say and do because all the forums and pages I have read up to yet have been completely different and some not so nice abusing their littles! Which i dont agree with, they should be spoilt and cared for; each to their own though.. 

 

Any advice or ideas for things to say and do to begin with would be greatly appreciated  

[Awkward Encounters]

I'm kind of new to this. So my advice might not be the most useful. But I feel like she does have to understand that she needs to communicate to you about for instance as you stated her overspending. That's something she should be willing to discuss regardless of her always being in her little space. Or set up a limit for her one. I think you're doing great as a DD though. I just think you're lacking communication from her. 

[NewDaddy93]

Hi, no all advice is welcome!

 

Thanks for your input, the more I read the more I feel I have fitted the role naturally without even realising! For example she owns every unicorn teddy ever invented haha! including Giant ones that needed their own room lol, little pop up princess tents and toy chests etc, not only that she had reward charts we had schedules for cleaning, i would regularly do pick nick type things in forts built in the living room, i even proposed hiding the ring in a fort, in addition to those I would always get her candy and sweets, little treats and colouring books all that sort of stuff without even being in a DDLG agreement/relationship this was just our natural relationship. 

 

Upon finding out about DDLG she loved it! This led to extra treats princess type gifts, pacifiers, little music and so on... Upon us breaking up before (still on good terms) She made a comment to me saying we weren't like it at all (DDLG) and it is a lifestyle as I mentioned, which has got me confused...I have however learned that each relationship is individual in its own ways and accept ours may differ from whats available on the web.

 

Reading steps or suggestions I have already done a lot so stumped as to what to do next...I think an area I could certainly improve on would be how we talk if she is in 'little' space, for example I could use the term daddy or baby girl and the likes much more as this never came naturally to me...Although I do call her peach as this is her nickname (my little peachy bum) .. 

 

The present problem is we are not together so the position of discussing rules/ways forward is limited, nonetheless I still want to learn more about the role and be a good daddy for future.

 

Again thanks so much for any input

[LolitasDaddy]

Ex partner?

[NewDaddy93]

Yes we broke up recently but still on good terms and im still keen to fix things 

[tayiie]

I love this video! It gives so much information, for beginners, might help you too! At least I hope it will. And I will give you a key word, communication! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-fINCUzlwQ Hope it helps.

[Guest Princessaj]

Welcome. New middle, new to the DDlg Lifestyle and new to the DDlg forum....2 months in now and having a blast.

I wanted to share what I have found in my research of DDlg online that relate to what you are asking in your post..

Hope this doesn't overwhelm you.

 

DDlg Lifestyle = The term lifestyle can denote the interests, opinions, behaviors, and behavioral orientations of an individual, group, or culture.

 

Within the DDlg Lifestyle there are tons of preferences/traditions. One of them is "24/7" which is what it sounds like your little is living.  She is just her little self when you are not at home,  You make her a schedule or give her activities... some littles do all their cleaning and meal prep and stuff that would take her away from you when you come home from work. Sorry, don't know your living situation.

 

Being a good Daddy has many working parts.

Here is my basic preference list of areas that I will want my good Daddy to do for me

Each of these has specific actions that I will map out with my Daddy in our DDlg Lifestyle Relationship Agreement ....

-Love me, ".

-Protect me "

-Teach me "

-Comfort me "

-Praise me "

-Care for me "

-Give me structure with chore charts and for anything else that I need to be guided for, eating, exercise, homework

-Discipline me, if I don't achieve my targets/ to show me that you need to give me punishments that we have agreed on.

 

Let's rewind, at the beginning of knowing each other, what kind of formal DDlg Lifestyle Relationship agreement did you have?

If you have one, I think its time you both revisit that agreement and make revisions that you both agree on.

Get it out on the table and talk thru the points that are causing you angst. Tell her in advance your are going to be doing this together and encourage her to prepare to discuss some points that concern her and that which she desires. This way you are inviting her to participate in a "we" experience. Invite her as an Adult.

 

If you don't have a formal DDlg Lifestyle Agreement, I suggest you make one together,  Again, this is a "we" experience and

invite her to write some things in advance that she would like to see in the agreement. Invite her as an Adult.

 

Perhaps consider some of your preferences from your post to possibly put in your agreement.

-I would like the adult/responsible side to come out in serious situations or when needed.

-big issues (commonly overspending! Determine the plan to stop this from happening. If it reoccurs, what it the punishment?

-what could i do to bring her out of little space

 

Please let me know if you have any questions or want a chat. Blessings, Princess

 

Disclaimer: All the information provided was sourced in DDlg Lifestyle google search, reading blogs, watching youtube videos, reading posts/threads on the forum, making member friends in all roles, thinking about me being a middle and having a Daddy.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Hi there! I'm new here, and much like you, DDlg just came natural to me and my Daddy. I am more of a middle, so depending on your little these things may be different for her.

I don't have a problem with over spending. I'm pretty frugal, and for awhile I managed our finances (my Daddy and I are married). This was easiest because Daddy wasn't home when trips to the store and bills were being paid. Daddy has recently taken over this task because he is home now, and it was added stress for me. That being said , I have a weekly allowance. I am not to go over this without getting Daddy's express permission. This isn't for food, but extra goodies. I can save my money if I want something bad enough, which usually isn't an issue. If Daddy knows I want it, and we have the money, he usually gets it for me.

My allowance is just like a bill. It isn't an option. Daddy will go without things he wants before he denies me my allowance. It makes me feel special, and honestly when he hands me the money each week, it makes me feel little.

 

DDlg is a lifestyle. That being said, both sides are a lifestyle. Punishment is important, as well as rewards. Littles have to want to please their Daddy, and Daddies their little. You wanting to know what you can do is a huge first step.

[Beasourous]

sometimes littles needs rules.. therefore the rewards and punishments.. so if overspending is one of the issue, then set that as a rule and if she breaks the rule then there is the punishment.. there is alot of communication needed.. you can still be great daddy without overindulging the little one.. there are other ways to show love other than letting the little one getting her way all the time..

[Princess-P]

CG/little can be a lifestyle, it can also be roleplay, it can be a fetish... There is no right or wrong just to be clear.

 

Also having a bunch of "little" accessories is not nesacary, if she states to you that she is a 24/7 little and that it is a lifestyle then she should know that all the things you buy her, while nice, don't really matter.

 

Because CG/l is a community for adults then she also should understand that SHE is an adult and there for will sometimes have to act like one. Being unable to communicate with your partner for whatever reason in ANY relationship will always lead to problems. And if her reason for not communicating with you about serious issues that you bring up is because shes "little" then she's manipulating you to get her way.

 

Some littles do have rules and punishments, others do not. Since she is your ex I feel like you would be better suited reading more about the lifestyle and figuring out what you can bring to a relationship and what you expect from a partner. Let her go and find someone who's needs you can meet as well as who can meet yours.

[Guest Plebian]

Make sure you feel comfortable and happy, too.

 

A relationship is built based on trust and respect, right? The added dynamic of DD/LG doesn't change any of that. If you want/need her to be a big girl sometimes, she should respect that. If I were in your shoes, I'd have both of us make a list of things we want/absolutely need/would be willing to compromise in and so forth. Make it formal and get to grips on what it should mean to both of you.

 

Other than that, it can be anything you both want it to be. Regression is a wonderful thing but it shouldn't ever stand in the way of things that are ultimately just as, if not more important!