I Cheated on Daddy!! :( Advice?

[stargirl]

You said that your friend saidbhe was taking advantage of you. If you didn't explicitly say yes to his advances then he raped you.

Yes your Daddy will be upset, but he should also understand how you feel. If you didn't consent then you're the victim and it's not your fault.

 

How ever if you did consent then yes, you cheated and I think you need to think about why you did it, and how you feel now, explain it clearly to your Daddy and see if you can start to put it behind you

 

I never said yes. And I need some time to think everything through and come to terms with this.

 

Thanks everyone

[DollDirector]

What ZenDD says is very important; " write down everything you remember ". Save this thread; You might show it to a good therapist if you are lucky enough to be able to access one. I am not being judgmental: Your writing slips and this can be helpful; For example you've actually written " but I he insisted "

[stargirl]

What ZenDD says is very important; " write down everything you remember ". Save this thread; You might show it to a good therapist if you are lucky enough to be able to access one. I am not being judgmental: Your writing slips and this can be helpful; For example you've actually written " but I he insisted "

 

Thanks for pointing that out, I'm guessing I missed that typo? I wrote this while it while under a lot of stress, and would attribute that particular mistake to bad editing. I was trying to type every thought as it occurred and then edit and phrase it in a way that made sense. I erased and rewrote a lot, and I may have missed some things. My thoughts were a little all over the place as you can tell, so I'm not discounting the possibility of what you said and will archive everything for future reference. Thank you for noting that observation and bringing it to my attention. I'll look for clues in my other slips.

Edited October 15, 2016 by stargirl

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

When I was younger my boyfriend at the time took me out to a haunted house. It was my first ever relationship. He pulled over in a parking lot on the way and started making out and asked me if we could. I had been with him maybe a month. I said no. He pushed me down in the back seat and kept going. I eventually said "fine" or "okay" but not yes.

 

I was tired of the fight, and frankly, afraid I would lose him. That night I lost something I couldn't ever get back. I've always considered it consensual. My next relationship was with my Daddy, who is also my husband. I told him the situation early on. We have both always said it was consensual, but he refers to it as "forced consensual".

 

You see, we were in a long distance relationship and this occurred in his home town. He kept persisting, and while with reluctance I agreed, I felt very trapped. I was young, insecure, and it was my first relationship. I really didn't even know what to do.

 

I advise if you haven't already talked to your daddy about this in detail, I advise you do.

 

Your betrayal was in going in after he initially forced himself on you. However, he kept going. I can't say weather you were the victim or not. But I do feel as though, due to my own experience, you probably haven't told your daddy he was hitting you. I'm guessing you haven't told him you said no multiple times, or better yet, that you never said yes. You need to tell him these things. I know he's hurting, but while the situation is fresh in both of your minds, he needs to have the whole truth.

[stargirl]

When I was younger my boyfriend at the time took me out to a haunted house. It was my first ever relationship. He pulled over in a parking lot on the way and started making out and asked me if we could. I had been with him maybe a month. I said no. He pushed me down in the back seat and kept going. I eventually said "fine" or "okay" but not yes.

 

I was tired of the fight, and frankly, afraid I would lose him. That night I lost something I couldn't ever get back. I've always considered it consensual. My next relationship was with my Daddy, who is also my husband. I told him the situation early on. We have both always said it was consensual, but he refers to it as "forced consensual".

 

You see, we were in a long distance relationship and this occurred in his home town. He kept persisting, and while with reluctance I agreed, I felt very trapped. I was young, insecure, and it was my first relationship. I really didn't even know what to do.

 

I advise if you haven't already talked to your daddy about this in detail, I advise you do.

 

Your betrayal was in going in after he initially forced himself on you. However, he kept going. I can't say weather you were the victim or not. But I do feel as though, due to my own experience, you probably haven't told your daddy he was hitting you. I'm guessing you haven't told him you said no multiple times, or better yet, that you never said yes. You need to tell him these things. I know he's hurting, but while the situation is fresh in both of your minds, he needs to have the whole truth.

 

I also felt very trapped and like there was no way I could stop him. I feel like I tried to stop him and then I gave up, and like I can't forgive myself for letting this happen. Thank you for sharing your experience. It brought some clarity to my own.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

As I said, if you haven't been 100% open and honest with your daddy about all of it, you need to.

[stargirl]

As I said, if you haven't been 100% open and honest with your daddy about all of it, you need to.

 

I sent him a link to this post, I'm not certain he read that part since it was posted later. I will definitely discuss that part with him. Thanks again

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Are you able to call him? I know this is LDR so it can't be discussed in person, but some things are better spoken than written, and I feel like this is probably one of those cases. Just my opinion though.

[stargirl]

Are you able to call him? I know this is LDR so it can't be discussed in person, but some things are better spoken than written, and I feel like this is probably one of those cases. Just my opinion though.

 

We tried speaking on the phone, but he's overseas in a remote area with poor connectivity. So, it was mostly through text. Hopefully we get to talk about it more intimately soon.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I hope so for you guys too. Best of luck.

[stargirl]

Hello everyone! Just an update... I spoke to a therapist and have retold the experience to close friends and family. I was raped. Everyone I told has been extremely supportive and so have some people on here as well. Thanks so much for talking me through such a terrible experience. He no longer works with me and I feel much safer.

 

Peace

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I am glad you have been able to work through this situation... is your Daddy understanding? I certainly hope so. Here if you need to talk.

[aj_21]

Hello everyone! Just an update... I spoke to a therapist and have retold the experience to close friends and family. I was raped. Everyone I told has been extremely supportive and so have some people on here as well. Thanks so much for talking me through such a terrible experience. He no longer works with me and I feel much safer.

 

Peace

So proud of you girl for getting the help and support!!!!

[Guest mts269]

Hi. I'm sorry for what happened. How are things now? You have many needs and your greatest need is to have a daddy that is understanding and very attentive to you. You need to always be held and loved and guided. You need someone who can always be there for you...a super caring, understanding daddy.

[Wynardtage]

Having such an LDR, with a DD who 'lacks cell service sometimes', seems very suspicious to me.

 

^ This. Had a little once that would feed me those excuses, with cell services and even internet allegedly going out very suspicious times. I found out the hard way that denying the obvious just because I didn't want to accept it didn't help.

[stargirl]

^ This. Had a little once that would feed me those excuses, with cell services and even internet allegedly going out very suspicious times. I found out the hard way that denying the obvious just because I didn't want to accept it didn't help.

 

He travels to very remote places for work like Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. The connection is less than stellar when he is in such locations.

[stargirl]

Hi. I'm sorry for what happened. How are things now? You have many needs and your greatest need is to have a daddy that is understanding and very attentive to you. You need to always be held and loved and guided. You need someone who can always be there for you...a super caring, understanding daddy.

 

Thanks for asking! I'm doing better, got new job and started therapy (mixed feelings about the latter). You're right, I do need those things in a Daddy, and I'm happy to have a one who tries his best to be there whenever I need him, trusts me, and is very supportive of my decisions, but also gives me a wildly different perspective from my own. Even if I do miss him all the time and want more attention, he's there for me 

Edited November 6, 2016 by stargirl