confused, jealous little

[vengeance_pixie]

[Guest Mr.Cuddles]

That sounds truly awful, i hate to say it but he lied to you, and wasn't honest with you...he misplaced your trust and mislead you? And you may think its fine sometimes but, clearly if you are making such an upset post about it something is wrong, you seem so confused about if he is yours or hers and you need to clarify it and see if his girlfriend knows, then re-assess if he is worth this bullshit. At the end of the day its your relationship, but i personally would seek out as thats really not okay.

[Donatien]

No good. Huge red flags all round. Good luck Edited October 13, 2016 by Donatien

[Guest ZenDD]

This "Daddy," and I use the word loosely to describe him, is selfish and manipulative. Point blank. He lied and manipulated you into an emotional relationship with you, and now that you're "hooked" he's got what he wanted. He's the epitome of "wanting to have your cake and eat it, too." I know this is hard to hear, but you need to leave this relationship. You didn't ask to be dragged into this drama and the reality is that you're being used. His telling you not to worry about it too much is such manipulative downplay. He has seduced you into thinking that he has something to offer you. But he is only concerned with what you have to offer him. He's a fake, a phony, and you need to be true to yourself. You deserve better. End this now before your heart and mind digs in any further than it has already. You're being played. Not only is he not being good to you, he's convinced you to not be good to yourself. This is pure manipulative control. He's breaking you down so that you need him, and so he gets what he wants. He's not a Dom, he's an abuser. And he's taking advantage of your submissiveness.

 

This will be difficult, as you obviously have feelings for him. But the truth is that you don't actually have feelings for him, you have feelings for who you think he is, for who you want him to be. You have feelings for who he wants you to think he is. But the person you have feelings for doesn't actually exist; he's playing a character tailored to your emotions. 

 

Littles are strong. Keep your head up, know you deserve better, be good to your heart and mind, and move on. Just tell him you don't approve of the situation and that you're ending it. Then just keep your distance and don't look back. If you engage much further, he will try hard to manipulate you into staying. He will say "all the right things." He will want you to be torn, and indecisive. The more emotionally confused you are, the more control he has. Stay strong and know you are better than second best. You aren't obligated to share anyone in a relationship. Just because someone else is fine with having multiple relationships doesn't mean you have to be. He may claim to be poly, but he's just an irresponsible, selfish, insensitive user. Give yourself time to heal, and never take this behavior from another. Good luck.

Edited October 13, 2016 by ZenDD

[Guest Mr.Cuddles]

^ zenn, well said, like jesus. dont stand for that bs

[ANewDragon]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. It is going to be hard, but stand up for your happiness. If you don't want to be another women then I unfortunately will need to say there are plenty of red flags that this will happen again even if he chooses you. Poly relationships are built on honestly, the fact he lied means he is not in one.

 

You are right in feeling that way. Not you have to figure out what you want to do about it.

[MrB]

As many have already said he lied to you and the fact that he sees you're upset and says "You worry about it too much" instead of actually talking to you to reassure you shows he is a careless guy. He is trying to say it's not a big deal and you are making it one when IT IS a big deal and he's downplaying it. I know you have feelings for him and I have experienced having strong feelings for someone who you realize you can't be with but you need to make the right choice even though it's the most painful. I feel he just doesn't respect you or the other women, to be honest I feel he doesn't respect women at all and that's how he can be ok with this. You seem like a lovely little and certainly don't deserve this, you deserve a daddy who would do anything to see you smile and wouldn't rest till you were happy not cause you pain by being with another women. It is NOT selfish to want your partner to only be with you it is human. I hope you manage to get through this and find a Daddy who loves you and treats you right

[Guest Princessaj]

I agree with everyone.

When I enter a DDlg Relationship there will be a written agreement that covers this situation as well as many others-up front.

My agreement will clearly state the characteristics of DDlg Relationship.

I can control the crafting of the relationship agreement, I can't control a liar.

 

Don't worry, karma is a bitch.

Hugs

[Guest GrapeApe]

I'm sorry... That sounds very emotionally painful.  But, none of this is your fault!  This 'person', if you can call him that, lied to you, and destroyed the relationship before it ever even began.  Best for you just to move on and not communicate with this person ever again.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

That's not a dom of any kind; That is a child trying to play in a mans world. Dom's are Men and Men know the importance of Honesty. Misleading you AND his girlfriend (who i sincerely hope leaves his douchebaggery too!!) was just plain and simply wrong. Move on, Princess! 

 

I am very sorry you had this experience but trust me, There are REAL DDs out there that will know how to treat you... Just make sure you are clear with anyone and everyone you may become involved with that lying is an instant deal breaker. 

 

Our lives and Dynamics are all built on trust and communication so Liars and Dirtbags need not apply. 

[vengeance_pixie]

Thank you everyone for your extremely kind words. I am just so broken. I never knew there was a world where I fit in, and "daddy" opened the door and told me he would be there to explain and show me the way.... now I feel lost. How can I ever imagine to navigate this new found world by myself? I'm so scared of trying to find out how I fit into this world on my own. I was told I would have a hand to guide me, and now I feel blindfolded and spun around. I know any kind of relationship is built on trust, so I know this is no type of situation to stay in. I know I need to leave. The worst part is, I don't even truly know if she knows about him having a little or if they had agreed to a poly relationship at all. Not only does my heart break for me but I hurt for her.... I feel like this worst person on earth. How can I ever trust another daddy again? I feel like I just found where I belong, and the door was slammed shut in front of me before I could even go in. Thank you again for all of your kind words. I truly appreciate every one of you taking the time to help me and reassure me.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

Thank you everyone for your extremely kind words. I am just so broken. I never knew there was a world where I fit in, and "daddy" opened the door and told me he would be there to explain and show me the way.... now I feel lost. How can I ever imagine to navigate this new found world by myself? I'm so scared of trying to find out how I fit into this world on my own. I was told I would have a hand to guide me, and now I feel blindfolded and spun around. I know any kind of relationship is built on trust, so I know this is no type of situation to stay in. I know I need to leave. The worst part is, I don't even truly know if she knows about him having a little or if they had agreed to a poly relationship at all. Not only does my heart break for me but I hurt for her.... I feel like this worst person on earth. How can I ever trust another daddy again? I feel like I just found where I belong, and the door was slammed shut in front of me before I could even go in. Thank you again for all of your kind words. I truly appreciate every one of you taking the time to help me and reassure me.

Don't worry about it. Life has a funny way about it. You now know that you are not alone, there are others like you. You found this community here. Now all you have to do, is say yes to being true to yourself. Do and be how you like, how you want and how you feel comfortable in your life. Don't worry about some silly man, you don't need some silly man to be yourself. Don't worry about trying to find a new man. Just open up to yourself, be true and honest to yourself. Seek out some friends to talk to, and in time someone new for you will cross your path.

Edited October 14, 2016 by CrazyLittleBuggaBoo

[tinkerpale]

Daddies don't lie. A Daddy doesn't lead his little on. That's not a true DDlg relationship. You do seem like someone who would fit very well in a DDlg relationship!! I just feel like you seriously need to consider having a true DDlg relationship with a different man.

Also, not everyone is meant to be in a relationship with more than one person. I could never be with anyone who is also with another person!! You should not settle!! You can have a DDlg relationship with a good man who loves you & wants to be with you only.

[LoralieHaze]

The worst part is, I don't even truly know if she knows about him having a little or if they had agreed to a poly relationship at all.

 

At the end of the day, that doesn't really matter in your situation. I don't mean that her feelings shouldn't be or aren't important, I just mean that you can't factor her feelings into how you deal with this issue. Her knowing or not knowing doesn't change the fact that he lied to you, made you feel awful, and downplays your feelings and concerns. Also, even if they are in a poly relationship (which I highly doubt), that doesn't negate the fact that you're uncomfortable with sharing him. You're absolutely right that you need to leave.

 

I relate very strongly to your feeling of having never grown up and that you thought something was wrong with you. I felt the same exact way for a very long time, up until April of this year actually. But you know what? I navigated this new found world and discovered my place in it all on my own! I googled, read wikipedia pages, watched youtube videos, looked around tumblr, and read as much as could on this forum. I mean, I have a Daddy now and he is teaching me things, but not about DDlg, because he says I have a great understanding of it. All my understanding of it came from thorough research, a few bad experiences, and what I've naturally been seeking out in a relationship for most of my life. I'm not saying I'm an expert, no one is, I'm just saying that it's 1000% possible for you to continue this journey of self discovery on your own and for you to have lots and lots of fun doing it.

 

Feel free to add me and send me a message if you want to talk more or for me to point you in the right direction research-wise. You're already on the right path by being on this forum and asking for help. 

[Guest thequeenslittle]

This is a horrible situation for you to be in and I am so sorry about it all and how much pain you must be in!! He should have communicated it with you either he lied from the beginning or if he didnt and he met the girl while with you he should have talked to you about it first. Mommy was thinking she wanted to date someone in addition to me and she talked to me about it first and we figured out what i was and wasnt ok with before she ever started talking to other people. thats what should have happened. I know you may feel lost in the world of cg/l but its not a scary place you dont need a daddy to help you find your way around just make some friends and talk to them about it and im sure theyd gladly help you with any questions!! i know me and my mommy love helping anyone we can!! feel free to message me!!!