Being Sad

[Daniellenights]

I get upset and sad very easily, sometimes it's the little things that start worrying me and then they grow, or I just over think a lot of things. My dom knows this, we've talked about it multiple times because sometimes it causes me to hide my emotions from him (Which we've worked on and fixed)

Although normally when I get really sad and try to talk to him about it, his first action is to get angry. Something in how I tell him that I'm upset seems to set him off and he gets mad at me which makes it all the more worse. By the end of it all I feel even more sad and almost like I'm drowning.

I've brought it up to him and sometimes he really helps me when I'm upset, however, a lot of the time he doesn't know how to handle it, I don't know what to do.

[Guest Princessaj]

You might find something you can use from my situation if you would like.

 

I cry every day.

I have mental illness that I am in care for.

 

When it comes to my bf, I took a step back to observe his thought patterns.

I have tried to explain how I feel, what I am doing in therapy and how my meds work.

His way of dealing with this is to say things like, "Put a smile on your face, chin up and go for a walk." When he says this, I just look at him, smile and give him all the LOVE I have, in the moment.

 

His pattern is he always has to "fix" things on the spot. There are many men like this, most men.

I have studied him and he does this about every situation he considers a problem.

 

You shared that your dom has a pattern.

-When he is in a good place, he helps you.

-When he is in "fear" (my word) of not knowing how to help you, he gets mad at the situation/feeling trapped....Not at You!

 

What about an experiment?

When this situation happens, be in the moment....LOVE him!

Pull all that is drowning you together and turn it into LOVE for him.

You both will be surprised at how it turns the situation on its head.

 

"Where there is love, there is no fear."

 

No fear for you about being sad (fear of not knowing how to get out of the sadness) and

nothing for him to be afraid of when he feels he can't help you.

 

Hoping for the best for you. Happy to chat any time.

[NorthDaddy]

I get upset and sad very easily, sometimes it's the little things that start worrying me and then they grow, or I just over think a lot of things. My dom knows this, we've talked about it multiple times because sometimes it causes me to hide my emotions from him (Which we've worked on and fixed)

Although normally when I get really sad and try to talk to him about it, his first action is to get angry. Something in how I tell him that I'm upset seems to set him off and he gets mad at me which makes it all the more worse. By the end of it all I feel even more sad and almost like I'm drowning.

I've brought it up to him and sometimes he really helps me when I'm upset, however, a lot of the time he doesn't know how to handle it, I don't know what to do.

Have you tried therapy? Find out what you have and work through it professionally. 

 

Try self soothing too, when you're upset read a book and take a step back to remind yourself you have love, a decent life etc.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

I wanna give you a big hug, because depression sucks. Being happy is hard... Especially when you're not really even sure why you're upset. Or you know that you're being upset over something silly, but no matter how many times you tell yourself there's no reason to feel that way, you still feel that way. Maybe even start feeling worst over not being able to control your feelings when there's really no reason for them... I can really feel what you said. Mister Master also seems to get "mad" at me when upset. And it's not that he's really actually mad at me. It's more of a feeling of not being able to help, not wanting me to be upset((because when you love someone, you care who they feel and don't want them to be upset or hurting, as we all know)) and sometimes not understanding why I'd let myself get stuck in emotion. I'm sure he doesn't want you to be hurting and upset, and wants to be able to help you and stop those emotions from bothering you. Depression is a hard thing. No only on ourselves but on the ones we love. People who suffer from depression fight to be happy, and not worry the ones we love, while people who don't suffer from depression fight to understand what's actually going on. I know, it can really feel like the walls smashing down on you when you're suggling with your emotions and you're told to not be upset, to get over it, or forget about it. But that's really the best thing. It isn't good for use to dwell on things, especially on upsetting, depression, and stressful things. If you're always upset about something, no matter what they do, it takes a hard toll on them, just like us.

 

If you're like me, when I start talking about something that's making me feel upset in someway I can really drag it out, and make it sound like a lot of complaining. Which complaining is ok sometimes, but when it's over everything, all the little things. It crosses that line. Realize the little things, and don't drag them out. Instead, admit you're feeling upset over something small or silly. Try telling him you're feeling sorta blue or out of it and maybe try asking what he thinks might cheer you up. Or tell him you just need a hug. Remind yourself, to look at it throw his eyes. He just wants you to be happy, and he wants to be able to help you. Have a talk with him, about your feelings. Not about your feelings, but about your feelings. Like, you know you have some issues with your emotions, you want to work on them and try to fix that or at less make it better. Get better control of them. Tell him, you're a work in progress, ask him for ideas on how to help. Don't do this while you're upset! That will make it hard for you and explaining things. Remember that relationships are a two way street. The love you send and the love you get, you most work together to understand each other and how to deal with each other.

 

It probably won't be an easy process, relationships aren't suppose to be easy, you need to work at it. Nothing in life is easy, nothing that's worth anything. Just keep talking and try to stay clam. The clammer you are, the easier time you'll have expressing yourself