Positive Communication And Other Ideas

[Strawberry Sprinkles]

This thread is in no way an attempt to tell you the right and wrong way of communicating with your partner. Instead, it is an open discussion of ideas between members of the community. Feel free to correct this thread or add your own experiences!

 

 
Acknowledgement
 
Being acknowledged is a such a boost in moral. It fires a shot of that feel good hormone that's just as addictive as any chocolate. It's well known that every submissive melts under a solid "good girl" praise. However, why was this praise rewarded? Reinforcing the reason behind praise leds to a feeling of mastery. "You did really good today. I was proud when you _____." This gives your submissive ownership of their actions and increases the likelihood of repeating the success. 
 
Caregivers also thrive off of this. Being Big all the time is hard and uncertainties are numerous. They take very seriously their role in your life. When those doubts begin to cloud their thoughts, thanking and praising them for being your mentor can ease them. 
 
If you haven't been doing this, make a list of everything you're thankful for or proud of for your partner doing and leave it for them to read. 
 
I recommend this article for ways to praise your partner other than "good job."
 
 
 
Daily Reminders - Notes
 
Another way to promote positive communication is to leave notes for them to find. They're simple gifts that remind your partner that they're always on your mind. If possible, hand write these notes  and stash them where you know your partner will see it. Not only is this a pleasant surprise, but knowing that someone took the extra time to make your feel special. If your relationship is LDR, try to write letters or make the text into a game. One of my favorite Couples App is Lovebyte. This is an app designed with LDR couples in mind. However, everyone is free to use it. This password protected app consists of an information chart for each partner to fill out, and you can create wishlists, calendar dates, and memos to share with one another. My favorite feature, however, is the secret message feature. This allows you to send them a message or picture that they have to "scratch off" with their touchscreen to reveal.
 
 
 
"I Love You" Rituals
 
Despite being a concept created by Conscious Discipline to promote working relationships between teacher and child [pdf link], the basis is the same for a romantic relationship. The basis of "I Love You" Rituals is a recipe for connection - eye contact, touch, presence, and a playful aura. Have a ritual that you and your partner do every day that promotes the listed objects. It can be taking turns massaging one another, holding hands and cuddling, or reading a story to each other. Or, if you and your partner are super silly, you can try some of the rituals in the pamphlet. My favorite ritual is:
 
Round and Round the Garden -
 
To do this, hold your partner's hand and making a small circle while chanting
     "round and round the garden goes the teddy bear"
then walk your fingers up their arm saying
     "one step, two step, tickle under there!"
then attack their most tickly spot! 

Edited October 11, 2016 by Strawberry Sprinkles

[Daddybears PLB]

Loved reading this..... thanks yoooo communication is huge for me and has been mainly a problem with past Daddies as they just haven't seemed to understand how integral it is to making a little happy, especially the small things that seem insignificant make a big difference like if they're busy they need to say or I wonder why the lack of interest from them.

Sometimes I can feel like I'm being too fussy perhaps but then again I am little...it's what we do right? Hehe