I wish my daddy was more consistent

[Miss_cryptina]

[lilsnoopy]

I hate when this happens... I had a few bumps in the road with my daddy dom but communicating really was important. Bringing it up the right way is too. Being a middle is like a life style you can't simply 'drop' it. If you were going to not be a middle around him that's different. Instead of threatening to hide your middle from him tell him that your middle is not safe or happy with him. Explain how his inconsistent behavior is hard on you and him slacking as a daddy is not how the dynamic should work. I understand that you are new but still it won't get better if you don't work on it. Tell him that the sticker chart needs to happen, if he promised it would happen then he shouldn't go back on it. It honestly seems like he is not acting like a daddy much at all. Maybe he just isn't meant to be a daddy, it does take a certain type of personality to be a daddy. Maybe he hasn't done his research, maybe suggest he learns more about what his role is supposed to be. That's all just my opinion, I might be totally wrong I dont know all the details. 

 

 

One thing that really scared me is, Sometimes he pushes me around sexually (we have a safe word and he will stop if I say it), and then punishes me for not obliging him. That is not ok if it means what i think it means. Does he punish you for safewording??? That is terrible. No Daddy or Dominant in general should ever EVER do that. It breaks the submissive's trust and will make her not want to use the safe word when the safe word is there for her protection. It is meant to stop all activities and be like a sanctuary for a submissive and immediately lead to after care, never involving an punishment anywhere in the mix. That is not just my opinion that is a general bdsm courtesy. 

[Miss_cryptina]

"Being a middle is like a life style you can't simply 'drop' it."

I guess I meant more that I would try to stifle it completely. Not just around him, but altogether. I think I've been a Middle since I can remember...there was just never a term for it that I found or could embrace. Since I was 15/16, I've been very different from my peers, and I have never once felt like an adult...even when adult things happened in my life. Like...I felt like everyone else around me grew up...and I stayed 14'ish. And, to be honest, I am so comfortable with this...but I've always felt like something was wrong with me. When I discovered DD/lg---and Middles---I feel like I blossomed. But it's been a struggle with him trying to get him to understand that I don't "get into" Middle headspace. I *leave* Middle headspace to adult around. And that I *need* him to be consistent with me. Otherwise, I become confused and discouraged. Admittedly, he is learning. He's younger than I am, and he doesn't have younger siblings or children of his own...so taking on the role of caregiver is a big step, and a lot of responsibility, for him. Still, I get so frustrated that he tells me one thing, and then does another. Over and over. I'm trying to be understanding, I really am. I've just been let down a LOT over the last couple of weeks...and it always starts a huge fight between us.  

And no. He's never punished me for safewording. The punishment comes if I don't oblige what he wants me to do. As I said, I'm a brat, and that can sometimes carry over into our sexual lives.   

[lilsnoopy]

Being a middle is who you are, and has been a been a part of who you are for a long time. If the relationship right now is making you want to try to quit being something you've always been, then there is a problem. You really need to have a detailed conversations about your needs as a middle. You need a brat tamer, a caregiver, a best friend, a dominant, ex. Being a partner to a little is a lot. He won't get it overnight but if he truly cares about you and wants you to be happy then he will listen to you and try to improve himself as a daddy. Every relationship needs that give and take. Maybe write an outline before you talk to him. something like:

lately:

-I've been breaking the rules and getting away with stuff

-you haven't been strict 

-you don't do the things you say you will

-we fight a lot, I don't want to

 

I need:

-sticker chart

-not to get away with breaking rules

-you to be more engaged in the middle/daddy relationship

-be more consistent as a caregiver

 

stuff like that... just state clearly what the problem is, what you need, and how to fix it. Slowly both work on it and hopefully just talking about it should help. A dd/lg or middle/daddy relationship is a lot of work, trust, and communication but is well worth it. 

 

I'm sorry I misunderstood the safeword/punishment thing, I misinterpreted that section..