New caregiver looking for help

[Teaps]

Hey all.  I'm brand new to being a caregiver and I am wanting to learn as MUCH as possible to be able to take care of my little.  She is a brat to the max though.  Talks back to me, calls me butt head, eats brownies before bedtime.  What is fair disciplinary action for her?

[lilsnoopy]

Hi! I am co-writing this with my daddy (he doesn't have an account but I read him the post and he is helping me write this.) 

First thing: brats tend to be more bratty if they are on a lax leash. Be stricter, make clear expectations of her and explain that they are meant to be followed. Maybe give her warnings, but never let it go unnoticed. Eventually you will have to punish her for the sassy attitude. Punishments like, short time outs in the corner of a room that you are still in. Punishments should never be you sending her away or leaving her alone, that would just hurt the trust she has in you. Also try grounding (maybe just for a night or so the first few times. never take away her communication with her family or friends, that means if you're taking her phone or something don't take it away completely.  Instead I suggest taking away a television show she likes.) Also spank her, some littles just act out because they want to be corrected or dominated or spanked. If you are long distance this all still applies, she needs structure. Having a reward system that give positive reinforcement but also have punishments for being bad. Writing lines is a good long distance punishment... honestly if she just won't listen after all of that then.. well... maybe deep down she isn't a submissive.... Little's usually need a daddy dominant, but if after everything she just won't submit to you then maybe that's just not her. 

 

Overall be firm, but be understanding. Remind her you're in charge and act like it. Punish her if she steps out of line (and has had a verbal warning first). Don't do punishments that are abusive (no taking away family, friends, stuffies, food (besides candy), yourself, ex). If she steps out of line don't just let her, point it out so she knows she isn't getting away with it. Stick to the chart or structure you have set up for rewards/punishments if you loosen up she'll walk all over you. If you give a little an inch she will go a mile. But at the end of the night let her know you love her no matter what and read her a story and be the daddy she wants to be good for. Good luck ^.^

 

tip from daddy: littles are sensitive. The moment after a punishment is done, hug your little and tell her you still care about her. Aftercare is so important it builds a bond and trust between the daddy and little. 

[Strawberry Sprinkles]

One of my favorite threads on this topic is Spooky's Starting Point [x] which goes over rules, rewards, and punishments. I strongly suggest you look over the punishment section and, with discussion of your Little, settle on which is best for your dynamic.  I'm continuing in the assumption that this is a D/s (Dominant and submissive) relationship. I'll make a note here that because I am relying on my own experience in my current relationship which is a general Dominant/submissive one, what I say may not fit into a Cg/l relation. I started working on this post while lilsnoopy and their Daddy had already posted, so some of this is pretty repetitive.

 

Why is she being bratty? I believe this factors into what should happen next. As a brat myself, I most often act out for three reasons.

 

Reason 1) I'm having a bad day and I want some rough play time. Therefore, I act out. 

Reason 2) I don't feel secure in their ability to be my Dominant. I want to be put in my place. It's an emotional craving. I want to submit but I don't know how. 

Reason 3) I'm bored and I want to get a reaction out of my partner.  

 

 

Have you two already set the framework of your relationship? For example, have you set down rules to follow? Does she have a task chart as a daily reminder of those rules? As adults, set together and make a list of:

 

Appropriate and inappropriate behavior:

How do you wish to be addressed? Daddy, Sir, Master, etc.

 

Rules:

This could possibly be: bedtime, diet, taking medicine, etc.

 

Routine:

This can go hand-in-hand with rules. Do you want to pick out her outfit, set daily chores and tasks? I highly recommend a chore chart as a way for both of you to remember what has been set. 

 

Consequences:

This is where Spooky's thread comes in - rewards and punishments. Rewards are just as important to maintaining dominance as punishment. Rewards can be simple headpats and a "good girl" to stickers and other silly things. Punishments need to be agreed upon before enforced. The punishment needs to fit the crime. 

 

 

Now, granted that all of this has been met, I'm assuming you haven't had come up with punishments and that is the main reason you've come to the forum. Because of the playful nature of brattiness, it seems more of a play for attention than a full out rebellion. However, if it seems otherwise, set down together and talk it out. If it bothers and/or upsets you, it's also a good time to talk it out. She may not understand that it's not an okay'd behavior. I've listed some possible ideas for punishments. I'm unable to give recommendations as I do not know her comfort level or the way your dynamic is shaped.

 

List of possible punishments: 

 

Spankings:

Hand

Paddle

Cane

Rider's Crop

Whip

 

Writing lines

Timeouts

Restriction of privileges (please note snoopy's guidelines for these)

Early bedtimes

Forced Orgasm (ie holding a wand to that love button)

Orgasm Denial

Extra chores

Bondage

Using a lowered tone

 

Always provide aftercare!

 

 

 

______________________

 

If you're asking for punishments because you don't know how to resolve the behavior (and you're assuming punishment is the best option) I'll adding this little bit.

 

If you're trying to modify bad habits (such as sweets before bed), start slow. I personally prefer the carrot and stick approach. For every night she doesn't eat a sweet before bed, she can get a good girl and a reward (ie sticker). Over a course of a set around of time, this should be done. Then slowly begin to put in motion the "stick" part. Announce that for every sweet she eats, she has to write ___ amount of lines ("I will not eat sweets before bed"). Take into account her attention span when considering the amount to be written. 

 

Punishments should be used when a person is willingly and consciously disobeying. Always tell her why she is being punished before each session.

Edited October 9, 2016 by Strawberry Sprinkles

[Teaps]

Thank you all sooo much!  I tried a couple of these strategies tonight and it seemed to straighten her attitude out a lot.  

Thank you thank you x1000

Can't wait to contribute more to the community here

[Strawberry Sprinkles]

Thank you all sooo much!  I tried a couple of these strategies tonight and it seemed to straighten her attitude out a lot.  

 

Thank you thank you x1000

 

Can't wait to contribute more to the community here

You're welcome! I sent you a friend request in case you have anymore questions. ^~^