How old is too old?

[special-blackbitkitten]

I think may post my 0.2 although I am wary. 

 

I said before that as long as they are adults, age doesn't matter. I feel personally, that love knows no age (within reason). Right, now I am talking to a potential Daddy who is 40 years older than me, yes..40! It is obvious that he doesn't feel his age, so I think a persons "mental age" also plays a big part in age gaps.

 

While I would be with him in a DD/lg relationship, I would not be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him simply being is that I would like to grow old with my husband. However, I do not look down on people who are in marriages with large age gaps. Different things work for different people, and if they're happy that is all that really matters. It is sad to see how many close minded people there are, especially in the BDSM community.

 

I think (and this applies for me personally) a lot of people know of or have heard of someone getting involved with somebody much older than them and it turning out badly. Now of course this doesn't reflect every situation but to these people it would make them more cautious about older people who approach them or the idea of it. For me it was a case of a minor interacting with an adult so naturally that's different but like KittyMacabre said above, sometimes it will be a case of a bad person who is taking advantage of somebody's innocence, trust and understanding of the world. I have no problem with consensual adult relationships with large age gaps, I know of people who have 15 years between them with three children but like I said when you know of something bad you tend to be less trusting of people and their motives not so much closed minded as you said Elle.

 

And I totally agree with you about metal age, I feel older than I am so of course people could feel younger too. Generally I get the vibe that nobody has a problem with this type of relationship rather they are concerned with the potential negative implications that may arise from such a thing. At the end of the day though if you and everyone else is safe and happy in their relationships then I think that's the most important thing

[littlemariposa]

I confess i didn't read the full extent of the comments previous to posting before and I just want to point a few things out.

 

 

 

If 18 is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship because the brain doesn't stop developing until one is in their 20s then I assume you are also in favor of restricting the legal age of adulthood until an age in one's 20s, as well. I mean... Obviously, if we are saying one does not have the mental capacity to take responsibility for their own actions in one situation they cannot be expected to act in an adult, responsible manner in other situations, either.

 

 

 

I get that a lot of folks are skeeved out by the idea of a 50 year old with an 18 year old. Lots of folks are/have been skeeved out by my 10 year age difference with my partner for the almost 4 years we've been together. Two of my previous partners in which I was substantially younger (15 years, 21 years) there were constantly men telling her how I couldn’t possibly be mature enough for her. It’s ok to be skewed out by DDlg in general.. Or ABDL... or any manner of things one might be involved in... It's OK to be skeeved out...

 

 

 

It is not ok to publicly ridicule someone's relationship you admittedly know nothing about simply because you do not understand how it works or feel it is not for you. It is disgustingly rude... ESPECIALLY ON A FORUM LIKE THIS.

 

 

 

Are there abuses sometimes with 50 year old men and 18 year old women? sure... Just like there are sometimes abuses with 50 year old women and 18 year old men. Or 18 year old men and women. Or 50 year old men and women. or 35 year old men and women. Abuse is abuse. It knows no age. For every reason you can think of that some 50 year old can manipulate an 18 year old I can give you two where someone their same age can do the same. Does it make it right? No... Abuse will never be right... But stop trying to justify it as "Oh, well of course she was taken advantage of... He was so much older than her.”

 

 

 

I mean... You realize how horribly misogynistic that is, ja? I mean... You are basically saying that an adult woman is not mentally equipped enough to take care of herself. She is, by the definition of what you are saying, unequal and inadequate. That she must be protected because she is inherantly unable to do so herself due to her gender. I find that a very disturbing statement.

 

 

 

I find equally disturbing the statement that one's maturity level is the indicator of a compatable mate. As if age, maturity and sex are the only three factors in any dating pool.

 

 

 

Again, it is perfectly acceptable for ANYONE to restrict their dating pool on whatever criteria they should choose. It is NOT ok for ANYONE to start imposing their restrictive dating practices on someone else. That takes many forms, not the least of which is publicly ridiculing anything that is not like you.

 

 

 

I honestly cannot express how disappointing it is to see the views expressed in this post. I don’t know what else to say about it but I think I should unfollow this post.

^ This 110% being someone who's always always always been attracted to older guys (it runs in the family) I've heard countless complaints about my relationships and how "wrong" they are. The first one was a 6yr age difference (non-sexual relationship, purely emotional/mental) and one of my happiest that lasted for 4yrs. He would have neverever dreamt of taking advantage of me out treating me poorly. He always cared for me and was very protective and to this day I still consider him a very important part of my life and know that if I needed him he's there. Currently my daddy is 9 years older than me and is the same way, very protective and caring. You know all the guys I've been hurt by were all very close to my age, 2 years older than me or less.

 

I'm not saying that it's perfect and that you will never ever get hurt, my family history makes it impossible for me to not acknowledge domestic abuse and controlling partners as I've witnessed it first hand time and time again but it can happen to anybody of any age and you have to respect that and continue on with caution. Maybe my age gaps are too much for you but I am happy and I still never judge your relationship. I only ask that people show the same courtesy.

[zardwiz]

My little (now wife of nearly five years) and I met on a similar forum that's now long relegated to the dustbin of internet history.  We're about 11 years apart and have not run into any issues other than outside judgement because of it.  We were LDR for some time, which I think might have helped with any age-related communications concerns, because we were sort of forced to both communicate effectively.

 

I don't think there is a "too old," honestly.  It's what you make of it.  Sure, some people have given us guff about it, but the people close to us pretty much took it in stride.  Her family's response was basically that they always knew she'd end up with an older man, perhaps just not so soon.

[DelilahDream]

I don't think it matters really as far as DDlg is concerned as long as both parties are adults. I think from day to day though a couple with a huge age gap may not be that compatible. A 20 year old woman and a 50 year old man are at completely different points in life. They may not want the same things in the end. If they're happy though, who cares?

[A Cuddly Dom]

As a man quickly approaching his mid thirties, I can see some serious bumps in the road in dating a girl under 21. Both the ladies I had relationships with who were littles (though they did not know it themselves) were 18 and 19. There were some maturity issues with both of them because they were still figuring themselves out. My first serious relationship I was 21 and she was 18. It caused a few issues because she hadn't had time yet to grow into the woman she would later become,and it limited things we could do out on the town. We eventually grew apart of course because she hadn't sown her wild oats yet, whereas I had gotten most of my partying out of my system. My last partner was 19, and was not emotionally mature yet. I actually regret that one a bit. She really needed to be with a man closer to her own age. Knowing what I know now, I would still date a younger woman, but I would need to direct the relationship away from those pitfalls. As for the social taboo, I think it should be left to the individual to decide for themselves. So long as everything is Safe, Sane, and Consentual, I don't have any real problem with it. Just my two cents.

[Guest Prince]

There is a "Rule" that I kinda like. I've heard different sides to it but it goes 1/2 your age plus 7.

[Gaia]

I confess i didn't read the full extent of the comments previous to posting before and I just want to point a few things out.  

If 18 is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship because the brain doesn't stop developing until one is in their 20s then I assume you are also in favor of restricting the legal age of adulthood until an age in one's 20s, as well.  I mean...  Obviously, if we are saying one does not have the mental capacity to take responsibility for their own actions in one situation they cannot be expected to act in an adult, responsible manner in other situations, either.  

I get that a lot of folks are skeeved out by the idea of a 50 year old with an 18 year old.  Lots of folks are/have been skeeved out by my 10 year age difference with my partner for the almost 4 years we've been together.  Two of my previous partners in which I was substantially younger (15 years, 21 years) there were constantly men telling her how I couldn’t possibly be mature enough for her.  It’s ok to be skewed out by DDlg in general..  Or ABDL... or any manner of things one might be involved in...  It's OK to be skeeved out...  

It is not ok to publicly ridicule someone's relationship you admittedly know nothing about simply because you do not understand how it works or feel it is not for you.  It is disgustingly rude...  ESPECIALLY ON A FORUM LIKE THIS.

Are there abuses sometimes with 50 year old men and 18 year old women?  sure...  Just like there are sometimes abuses with 50 year old women and 18 year old men.  Or 18 year old men and women.  Or 50 year old men and women.  or 35 year old men and women.  Abuse is abuse.  It knows no age.  For every reason you can think of that some 50 year old can manipulate an 18 year old I can give you two where someone their same age can do the same.  Does it make it right?  No...  Abuse will never be right...  But stop trying to justify it as "Oh, well of course she was taken advantage of...  He was so much older than her.”

I mean...  You realize how horribly misogynistic that is, ja?  I mean...  You are basically saying that an adult woman is not mentally equipped enough to take care of herself.  She is, by the definition of what you are saying, unequal and inadequate.  That she must be protected because she is inherantly unable to do so herself due to her gender.  I find that a very disturbing statement.  

I find equally disturbing the statement that one's maturity level is the indicator of a compatable mate.  As if age, maturity and sex are the only three factors in any dating pool.  

Again, it is perfectly acceptable for ANYONE to restrict their dating pool on whatever criteria they should choose.  It is NOT ok for ANYONE to start imposing their restrictive dating practices on someone else.  That takes many forms, not the least of which is publicly ridiculing anything that is not like you.

I honestly cannot express how disappointing it is to see the views expressed in this post.  I don’t know what else to say about it but I think I should unfollow this post.

Amazing, DominantBlogger! Couldn't have said it better.

[Sir Daddy]

As long as the people involved are legal and consensual I say follow the saying, "Age is nothing but a number." ...go for it

 

I always try to establish a friendship first so there is a foundation for any other kind of relationship... you can have the best DDlg and/or sexual relationship, but if you don't have anything to support that it's eventually going to fall apart... build it and build it to last...

 

As for how others view the age gap... I see it as another form of discrimination... and it has to be confronted at some point by standing up to those people... People at work found out I was dating (Grace) and started asking the usual questions... one of them being "How old is she?"... I was proud of her and of what we had so I bit the bullet and told people who asked (I'm 44, she's 19)... And the responses ran the spectrum... from congratulatory and supportive... to "You're dating a 19 year old? Hey Hey!"... to "You're crazy"... to the eventual being called a molester... or worse... It was tempting to shoot back, "Oh, so I should just 'stick with my own kind'?"... Discrimination must be fought on all fronts if our lifestyle is to ever be accepted... So I take the first step forward... enduring whatever stones may be thrown my way.

[pyonchi]

I personally don't mind age gaps; I actually have a thing for older people.
However, I have trouble with dating younger guys / girls.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with dating younger people when I'm in my 30s or 40s, either.

 

This is just my personal opinion though; as long as both adults!!! are happy with their relationship, I don't see the problem. -^^-

[EvilDaddyD]

I think age gaps are fine in general and especially with ddlg

The ddlg dynamic works really well with big age gaps like that. Of course you can have a ddlg dynamic without it but as long as shes comfy with it the 18 year old little and 50 year old daddy is fine, sounds fun to me!

[Erasmeus71]

Considering I am 51 at moment. I think it is up to the young lady if she comfortable with a Olderman. However her family may not like her dating someone so much older if for example she is 18-20 and the Gentleman is my age. My mother would not like it but is it her business. Love is love. 

[Little kaiya]

I'm 44 and my Daddy is 24. Is it a large age gap, some people certainly think so. Is it unusual that the Caregiver is younger than the little, yes. That said, we've been together almost five and a half years, He is moving in with my Wife and I soon and all three of us live one another unconditionally for who we are. Age gaps aren't a big deal if you decide they aren't. Sure, we get some odd looks bit no more than for He and I being furries, my Wife and I for being plus size, He and I for being gender diverse and many other things.

Bottom line to me, if people are over the age of consent then it's their lives, their business 

[Cebakes]

I’m just out of an age gap relationship that was fantastic.  It really helps if you have common beliefs, goals, interests, hobbies, etc.  It can’t all be based on DDLG or sex.  

[Erasmeus71]

On 4/12/2015 at 9:48 PM, Guest Prince said:

There is a "Rule" that I kinda like. I've heard different sides to it but it goes 1/2 your age plus 7.

Will I can live with that rule. That would be 32 plus for me for ladies. Now the problem who is available. They are either married or dating by 32. As it is my mother would frown on anyone under the age of 40. I got a mother that thinks she tell me what age is appropriate just because of my disability.