I need help

[babygirl702]

im a little and i have a bf but he isnt involved with the ddlg lifestyle. i feel empty and i want to know how i cann fill the need for the other half of the ddlg relationship...

[Guest Princessaj]

You sound like me.

I'm a middle and have an amazing and caring Vanilla bf.

We are in a new relationship and I decided not to open the DDlg door for a while.

I think we have so much to learn about each other IRL=In Real Life as a couple and being ourselves.

 

Some how I feel very much at peace about it.

I have turned my anxiety of feeling being left out into an enthusiastic group of friends on the forum.

Everybody here is a mountain of hugs and want to share their DDlg experiences.

I am connected to them on a daily basis when I can in the US and all over the world.

I have so much to learn about being a middle, how others embrace their DDlg identity and I have plenty of time to do that.

Celebrate and join the party, we all are here to listen and care.

[lilsnoopy]

So everyone will have different views so If i say anything that upsets people I am sorry in advance. 1. You can be a little alone. That is an option, you can color and collect stuffies by yourself or with a little friend. Engaging in little activities you enjoy (watching little shows, eating ice cream, wearing bows, going to pet smart to pet the kitties, going to the park, getting chalk and bubbles, ex) all should help you feel more little.

2. You can talk to him and tell him you need more, but it kind of sounds like he isn't interested. Just based on the way you worded it. If you haven't spoken to him; maybe try to. In a relationship communication is key.

3. Or you can move on. I say this because some people are fine with being littles alone. Some littles are not, me for example. I couldn't imagine not waking up in the middle of the night like I always do and not knowing I can call daddy every single time and he would pick up, calmly hush me back to sleep, and stay up just in case I woke up again. No vanilla guy I was ever with would do that for me and it is something I love and can't be without.-----The point I am trying to make with that example is that I find it hard to be a little alone, at some point I just can't. This might not apply to you at all, it is just a possibly. It really depends on your personality. Some people are very happy being little alone and make it work. But you seem more like you need that other half. We are littles but we are also submissives, I find I am bratty when I am not held under a strong grip. I need guidance and reassurance and a really close bond and having a dominant caregiver provides me with that. If you really are not satisfied maybe finding a partner who is more fit to suit your needs.

 

Please keep in mine that is just a suggestion, I don't know you, him, or the whole situation, I was giving possible ways to handle the situation so in the long run you can be happier. You'll have to find what is best for you, and I am wishing you the best of luck . Feel free to message me if I can help in any way. 

Edited October 4, 2016 by lilsnoopy

[Princess Joe Joe]

Try getting a babysitter! They are people that provide the Daddy/Mommy figure if your SO doesn't have the interest or the time to do so for you. The relationship can be entirely platonic in nature, and the limits between you and the Sitter could be negotiated by all three of you guys. Many people have sitters, and it is not an uncommon thing in the community. Another thing you could try is having a big sister/big brother which is sort of like a Sitter in a way. I personally see Big siblings as a more protective role, but the dynamic is your own to create!

 

If your partner do not want to incorporate any of the before mentioned things above into your relationship then I would suggested being a solo little which, aslo, is common in the community. There are a plethora of threads on here about how to self-sooth and self-indulge in little space without the assistance of a caregiver. 

 

Lastly, you might have to reconsider your relationship if a DD-lg relationship is very important to you! Best of Luck!