i miss you

[sugaaar]

you were so mean and passive aggressive to me..i wonder why do I still miss you. I know I didn't and couldn't do everything you said, it was hard to fit into your parent's standards. I couldn't be a cookie cutter and so you started to stray and flirt with other girls.

 

yes i'm pretty selfish. I admit that I wanted all of your attention on me and I didn't want to change our relationship, so it might seem like I didn't put in any effort. I just wanted a little time to adjust... to go through life with you, now i'm living life without you. I wanted to communicate that with you, but you said you were patient for long enough and didn't want to try anymore.

 

that hurt ALOT.

 

I still have dreams about you, but in those dreams i'm rejecting you or you're rejecting me. I wanted us to be happy and be together forever. You know whatever I say wounds sappy, but those are things I genuinely felt in the relationship. I ran into your arms when you came back from the United States and hugged you so tightly so excited because I missed you, you kissed me on the forehead after we were at the point of break up (much before) in front of all your friends, and you stayed up with me until 4 o'clock at night to watch hotel Transylvania 2.Always expecting your morning texts, my days were always filled with curiousity about what you were up to.

 

You did do some questionable things that made me wonder if you secretly hated me. You know there's so much I can't do right and if you can't look past that, then you wouldn't want to be with me. I needed time to introduce you to my parents, I needed time for specific sexual deeds, I needed time for planning out my future, and sharing money etc. We moved in our relationship so fast, that the time I asked for would probably be unreasonable. Because 'I keep making the same mistakes again'.

 

I'm sorry for everything. But I was hurt within the relationship and I'm still hurt even after it ended. I guess I loved you too much.I wonder sometimes, if you even noticed that I unfriended you on facebook. If you ever have thoughts about me at all. It's only been a month but you don't look like you have any problems moving on, while I feel like dying inside. I met some people too, but I don't like it when they touch me to get closer to me because It makes my skin crawl. I didn't like your touches at the beginning either, but now I've become so used to it. I miss being in your arms and sleeping on your chest, while you snored.

Edited October 3, 2016 by sugaaar