Troubling Tumblr Blog

[Guest PrincessKittyDragon]

Um, hi there. Well first of I guess I should say I'm new here. I mainly came for advice for a probably I've been having for a few days now.

A couple of days ago I was browsing the dd/lg tag on tumblr while talking to my boyfriend of nearly 3 years (Sadly due to money and family have t wait a few more years till we can meet)

 

Oh I should probably explain, me and my boyfriend's relationship is more of a brother/little sister dynamic than father/little girl. I call him Onii-chan or Onii for short. I also don't really have an "acting age" I do certain things of one age ( ie, suck a paci or coloring ) while others I don't (diapers, bottles etc)

 

Anyway back on topic. while browsing the tags I came across a blog that was "Anti-dd/lg" when I went to the blog out of curiousity it claimed that dd/lg is pedophilia and child abuse. Since I was in little space I took it really hard. As someone is kind of a CSA survivor (I was molested by a girl the same age as me at an early age) and was nearly molested again at the age of 12 by a neighboorhood boy who was 16 it really hurt me. I use dd/lg as a way to cope with my anxiety and the fact that I learned sex too early and had no time to be a kid. I also pretend my boyfriend is my brother because I lacked a protective brother figure. My biological brother is lazy, never spent time with me and is now violent if he doesn't get his way  

 

So the past few days I've been having anxiety attacks worrying that I'm somehow a child abuser for being who I am. I was a little for as long as I could remember honestly, even before I had the internet, I sucked a paci, I never stopped, I took a Spyro plushie with me eveywhere for years I think I stopped at 12. I am naturally attracted to more childish things like cartoons, coloring, bright colors etc. I have issues taking care of myself, so having someone there for me to remind me to take care of myself helps me tons. 

 

I guess I just need some advice with how to cope with this. I haven't been able to get in little space since then. Maybe its cause I'm sensitive and I'm over reacting, but any advice would be appreciated

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I feel these feels so hard. It's kind of difficult to be on Tumblr and not have them these days.

 

I'm sorry you're in such a scary place right now. It can be really dark if you look in the wrong places on the internet, but something you need to remember is that there is always going to be someone who doesn't like the things you do. Whether it's DDLG, or your sexuality, or the color of your hair. It's really hard for someone like me (a people pleaser) to accept that, but when I remind myself that there is literally nothing I can do to make everyone like me, it sometimes takes some of the pressure off. 

 

You are not bad for liking the things that you are, and you certainly aren't a child abuser for being a Little. People don't understand things, and they lash out because of ignorance and fear of the unknown. It's been happening for way longer than DDLG has existed, I can assure you of that. It's hard not to get sucked into those scary cycles, but remember that you are valid and so are the things that you use to cope and make you happy. You aren't abusing children simply because you never grew up. You are not your abuse. 

 

Let me say that again for the people in the back.

 

You are not your abuse. 

 

I hope that you blacklist "anti-ddlg", and stay on the side of the internet that doesn't fill you with feelings of shame and doubt. 

[Guest PrincessKittyDragon]

Thank you so much Belle, it helps me a lot honestly, I guess just getting it out there and off my chest helped too, I hope no one else comes across that disgusting blog. 

[AnotherNerdWithGlasses]

I've seen a lot of those anti-ddlg blogs and a lot of them are either unable to separate bdsm from abuse, project their own problems onto kinksters(for instance a internet daddy dom flirting with a girl who likes childish and girly things but is not interested in ddlg, so they're being harassed) or feel that since participating in ddlg was wrong for them or that little space was a bad way of coping for them, it must be wrong in general. I even saw someone post how pedophiles get their fantasies off of the internet (like googling bdsm or ddlg) and that it's kinksers fault that they get those fantasies. Obviously that makes no sense.

I've gotten a few anxiety attacks from reading those posts saying that I'm sexualizing child abuse or that I'm a pedophile apologist. None of that is true, but they made me feel like a freak. Then i saw one of the anti-ddlg people tell a person who's pro-ddlg that their happiness(ddlg) is wrong and i was livid. How effed up is that?

 

You are not a child abuser. You are not your abuse. You are just a normal person with a kink that helps you cope and gives you comfort. Don't let them make you feel unhappy or wrong. What i did was put antiddlg in the tumblr search bar and block all of them and NOT follow the ddlg search because they cross tag (meaning they tag ddlg for an antiddlg post). It was stressful but i don't see them as much anymore.

I hope that helped! And if you wanna talk feel free to message me

[Guest ZenDD]

DDlg/CGl is complicated. Especially for those that don’t understand it’s history and concept. First and foremost it is a branch of BDSM, and specifically D/s, so because of that it already gets critique. But what really makes people scrutinize this lifestyle and concepts is obviously the archetypes, most notably, for example, “Daddy” and “little girl”.

 

No doubt, it can be troubling for those that don’t understand the motivation, but it’s even troubling for some of us within the lifestyle. There is often a pang of guilt involved, as we are hardwired as humans, and also encouraged by societal morals, to detest and feel discomfort from activities involving incest or pedophilia. But to call DDlg/CGl incest or pedophilia is completely incorrect, as the people involved in the dynamic are neither biologically related or children.

 

There is a wave of underaged “littles” that is sweeping through DDlg/CGl at the moment, and that’s because on the surface the lifestyle appears to be about people who like stuffies, coloring, toys, pacis, and other products that are generally marketed for children. But it’s important to note that DDlg is not for people who are merely collectors of such items, nor a lifestyle for people who merely have interest in these things. These objects are tools, manipulatives, to aid ADULTS in the manifestation of qualities often associated with childhood, specifically characteristics like innocence, curiousity, playfulness, enthusiasm, willingness to please/rebelliousness, and fear/fearlessness.

 

It’s important that, as adults, we discourage the participation of those who are underage because neither the attraction to or use of toys and such, nor a tendency for “child-like” behavior, are reasons in-and-of-themselves to believe that one is into DDlg/CGl. It’s not that simple. In other words, just being into stuffies and liking to act childish doesn’t mean one is a little. And it doesn’t automatically make their mates Caregivers. Caregivers are nurturers who help enforce and maintain a psychological and physical environment that encourages “little space,“ and guide the dynamic between them and their little. DDlg/CGl is about the dynamic between participants. It’s about a D/s exchange that happens to use CG/l archetypes.

 

There is no one reason for the participation or use of DDlg/CGl concepts in one’s lifestyle. Everyone is different, but for littles it is commonly used as a coping mechanism for stress, escape of or fears of responsibility, as a space for healing from trauma, regression in order to live a childhood that may have been repressed, or for simple enjoyment, and/or numerous other reasons. For Caregivers it can allow us to fulfill our need to protect, guide, nurture, structure, and to have a unique bond that is not like any other.

 

Like any subculture, there are people within it who do not participate in it for the right reasons, whether it is out of ignorance or deception. Because this lifestyle can tread a fine line philosophically with regards to the caregiver/child archetypes engaging in an adult, romantic, or sexual relationship, it is easy for some people to use this lifestyle as an excuse for actual inappropriate, and even illegal, behavior. But proper adherents of DDlg/CGl are CONSENTUAL ADULTS involved in a psychological engagement that some in society don’t understand.

 

If you are researched in its concepts, understand it’s history and context, and fully aware that this community, in proper participation, is made of adherents who are ADULTS and that there is no child involvement at all, even in the promotion or representation of it, then you, or any of us for that matter, have nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of the scrutiny.

Edited October 6, 2016 by ZenDD

[Fighter-Wolf]

Sadly, Tumblr isn't a safe place to talk about things like that because they're always people who don't know you but just want to make you feel bad.

 

Of course, you must avoid enter to blogs who clearly say they're anti-something-you-like/do, because most of the time won't give you anything good. I've seen that blog before, so, I must also warn you that better don't tag any ddlg stuff on your blog, because sometimes it blogger and their followers go and send very rude and disgusting anons to people in the BDSM DDlg community.

 

Stay safe and remember you're not doing anything wrong with it, you're not hurting anyone.

[Guest PrincessKittyDragon]

Thanks to all of you for the advice ; w ; it really means a lot to me, Its good to know you're not alone. I hope all of you have a wonderful day