Fighing with Daddy

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

It's been a long night

 

I try my best to be a good girl but sometimes I slip up like anyone else and today... I slipped up huge!

 

A little background - I was raised in Toronto Ontario - and not exactly a good neighborhood. Drugs, gangs etc etc. I fell into the wrong crowd and spent the better part of my teenage years amd early adulthood hanging with the wrong kind of people. I was always in trouble with the law for fighing - I managed to stay out of the drugs but I was a really pissed off kid so I took it out on other people. Anyways, I met Dominus in my twenties, after I had distanced myself from that scene but still very much kept the mindset and attitude of that pissed off teenager - he pretty much spent the first 2 years of our relationship trying to help me rewire all that impulsive nonsense and quell my temper - I'm now a registered addictions Councillor and my life is very much on track and i owe a lot of that too Dominus and his patience.

 

Today that angry teenager came out with a vengeance.

 

It's been a long day, I was cranky, flustered and stressed. Dominus asked me if I had finished my chores (pretty standard question) and I flew off the handle. Yelled at him about me always doing the housework (I'm a domestic sub, currently away from work so it's part of our agreement that I clean/cook and Dominus works and does the man stuff), told him he was being selfish, etc etc just...right off the deep end.... i dont know why I got so pissed - it was just an outburst. Naturally he's trying to talk to me about why I'm acting like a foul mouthed 3 year old and the calmer he is... the more mad I get. Eventually I just burn out and go hide in our bedroom.

 

I feel like such an asshole. I apologized obviously but he's still super hurt and I can't blame him. Hes sleeping on the couch - told me he needed to calm down so he can talk to me productively. Told me he loved me and to go to sleep (230 am here now so we can see how well the sleep thing is going g) he's justified in being pissed, I acted like a angry dick - cursing a storm and yelling like a weirdo. I just felt like that angry, aggressive kid all over again.

 

Never thought I'd ever be in a position where id be so hurt knowing someone was upset with me. I know he's disappointed in my actions and it hurts - a lot. It's so out of my Character these days to just lash out like this.

 

Should I just give him time to chill and wait for him to talk to me? Would that make it look like I don't care?

[Guest QueenJaylen]

no give him time if he knows you he knows that you care. tell him you love him explain what happened when he is ready to talk again. he'll most likely understand.

[roseyposey]

Agreed. We all have our moments where we say something we're not proud of. Try not to beat yourself up, you're only human.

 

Let things cool off and apologize in the morning. It sounds like he really loves you...this little tantrum won't change that.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

Making our partner angry is never, ever easy, but I want to commend you for owning up to your mistakes! That's the first step, and it's a really hard one sometimes. So pat yourself on the back for having the self-awareness to admit when you're wrong. 

 

Your relationship, and personality, sound a lot like Beast's and my own. I had a lot of anger issues when I was a pre-teen, and after extensive therapy, I've gotten a really great handle on them. I'm happy to say that my explosive anger outbursts very rarely happen now, and I'm glad to hear that yours seem to be doing the same. Remember that we are human and we make mistakes. You'll have slip ups, and you'll feel like your sliding back down, but what matters most is how you deal with the aftermath and move forward. By apologizing, admitting you were wrong, and accepting what your Daddy needs to do to calm down and get back to a place where you both can communicate productively, you seem to be doing everything right. 

 

I identify really hard with this whole post because it screams of stuff I used to do a couple years ago. Beast is very similar to your Daddy; He's calm in the face of my raging fire, which usually only gets me angrier, and He only gets calmer and more soothing. I know it's good in the long run, but in that moment, that angry side of you only wants that reaction. You want the other person to be as mad as you are. If your Daddy is anything like Beast, he will absolutely cool down and talk to you today. Just remember to be honest about how apologetic you are, and make a plan for what do to next time. Explain about the anxiety that you felt by him reacting the way he did, and let him explain to you how or what helps in these moments.

 

Relationships are a give and take, and nobody ever said they'd be easy all the time. I'm glad you've got someone whose willing to stick out the bad times for you. <3 

[Strawberry Sprinkles]

Old habits die hard. He's doing the best thing and waiting for himself to calm down before having what will probably be a serious conversation. Give him time and tell him that you will wait until he is ready. I don't know much else to say, but I do want to offer my condolences. Relapse is hard. Keep your head up and fight through it. 

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

Thanks for All the encouraging words, this is why I love being part of this community!

 

Me and Dominus spent a great deal of yesterday talking and then when we got anything settled - he grounded me lol. No video games, cell phone, or sexual gratification for me. I'm under high protocol for a few days. I accept my punishment gracefully - it could be a lot worse; I could have lost him.

 

I'm only allowed my tablet in bed And not allowed to touch my computer so I just got a chance to reply now. Thanks for being my sounding board and not making me feel like more of a jerk!

 

I love my little fwiends!

[Kvasir]

As a Daddy I personally don't like space, even if I'm upset. For my Kitten and I we are in everything together. Allthough that's what we agreed to. I have zero tolerance (for myself as well) to swearing or name calling/raising voices so that we are able to work on problem solving together, if someone needs a few minutes we hug silently until the topic is changed momentarily or resolved when either her or I are more comfortable to talk about it again. I'm glad you two worked it out.