NEW TO DDLG?

[raptorkitty]

Hello, so I've noticed a lot of new daddy doms making posts about how they don't really know what they are doing. 

 

Background: My daddy was vanilla before me. During our first "try" at DDlg, things went terribly. Miscommunication started to disrupt our relationship and soon my daddy lost confidence in being a daddy and didn't know if he wanted to be one. I used to send him things to read but he'd usually forget to read them. I'd feel like he didn't care about our dynamic and then he felt like a disappointment. I ended up having us take a break from ddlg because he didn't know whether he wanted it anymore and felt as though he was a let down. It took me about 2 weeks before i could figure out a way to introduce our dynamic in a more flexible way. A way that fit him, that wouldn't make him feel like he had no clue what he was doing. A way that didn't make him doubt himself.

 

So In light of that, for any new daddy doms, I found 3 things that my daddy absolutely loved. It gave him confidence in what he was doing and helped make our dynamic not so "foreign" to him.

 

#1. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_g3aPQsW91elI_PqVLlajA

This is a couple who are DDlg/ABDL. They helped my daddy get excited about our dynamic. Felt like he knew what he was doing. They have 2 videos, one about "best practices for a daddy dom" and the other about "neediness." 

 

#2. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCokRyLsHxh-NykvT4uA6n2g

They are more BDSM/kink related. Its always good to know how to keep safe in any kink you partake in and know what you are doing. Go through the channel and find a video that suits what you do in the bedroom/outside the bed room! It has stuff like pet play, bondage, and impact play! Its best to know what you are doing, and it helps to have someone tell you instead of reading about it (if reading isn't your preferred way of learning, however i recommend you still read.) My daddy felt much more knowledgeable when it came to scenes after this, and actually wanted to talk about kinks he's interested in!

 

#3. https://www.domsub.life/?doing_wp_cron=1475024614.5771679878234863281250

This is a couple again, however in a reading page. They have amazing insight. They answer questions in a very mature way and i feel ever couple should read their page. Great for beginners and there is one page that talks about tips in your first discussion for DD/lg! Daddy liked this one too. He got to understand my personality better thanks to this couple's page!

 

I feel like because of these 3 websites, my daddy has been able to actually enjoy our dynamic. He hates not knowing what he's doing and can get discouraged really fast if he feels like he's letting me down. We've had minimal fights because he understands our dynamic better and actually WANTS to do it. 

 

I hope these pages help you as a daddy dom as its helps my daddy. Thanks for reading, if you have any other video pages or reading pages you feel would help daddy doms. Please comment them!! 

Edited September 28, 2016 by Daddy'sBrat666

[lilybell]

These videos are awesome! You just gave me something new to check out! Thank you!

[Guest Waiting4us]

o Over correcting for every minor infraction is also a very poor practise. It will make the sub feel worthless and she will only do what is required of her for fear of reprisal. She will, over time, have no desire to please the Dom. Eventually the Dom will realise he has little to no control over her and the relationship crumbles.

o Punishments do not have to equate to pain. For a masochistic submissive she will most likely ‘act out’ to receive a punishment as she will see it more as a reward. Removal of privileges, a cleaning task, written lines, etc. are far more beneficial and appropriate. For minor infractions use minor discipline, save the more severe methods for deliberate infractions.

o Punishment should be used to correct an infraction or lack of action. Never punish out of anger, frustration or retaliation. Real injury can occur, safe words become nullified and limits do not exist. A Dom that punishes in anger is on a road to an abusive relationship. It’s very difficult to have empathy when one is angry. Take a ‘time out’ for reflecting. Inflicting pain is not the goal, it is one of the tools to be used by a Dom to ensure rules and protocols are adhered too.

o Rewards show a sub that the Dom is pleased. It’s a way of showing love and that he cares about her wellbeing. It acknowledges her proper behaviour and reinforces it. It is how a Dominant creates the willingness in a submissive to want to please him. A happy sub will want to make keeping her Dom happy a number one priority and avoid any action that may result in disappointment.

From the perspective of the Daddy Dom, listen to your little. Let her talk and do not interrupt her when she speaks or be too hasty to respond or judge what she is saying to you. Let her open up to you, let her gain your trust. Treat her with respect, with dignity and allow her voice her opinions. Allow her to participate in your activities and show her she is an equal in the relationship. Her role is to follow a Daddy’s direction and to please him. She is not beneath you, she is your lover, your companion and best friend. When she pleases you she will expect to be rewarded. When she displeases you or fails you in anyway then a consequence is what she expects. She needs to be corrected and guided by you and shown how to act and what is and is not acceptable. A little will genuinely care for and want to please her Daddy, not out of fear, but out of love. She wants to give her Daddy pleasure and does not want to disappoint him, ever. A little will take great pleasure from the fact that she pleased her Daddy and Daddy is proud of her.