What to do

[Littleonenajha]

Im having a issue, I want to go into little space completely and forget that im hurting tonight. But I dont know how my daddy will react so im scared to

[lilsnoopy]

As a daddy dom he should be concerned with your best interest. If you feel like you need to be little and be taken care of and comforted so you hurt less then he should be all for it. I would just talk to him let him know that it's important for you and you need him to be a strong daddy  for you right now so you can be a happy little girl. 

[Littleonenajha]

He was already in a bad mood when he got home from work. So I automatically shut down and try to stay out of his way

[lilsnoopy]

He should not be taking his bad moody out on you. If anything maybe try to have you cheer him up. My dom and I have a safe word, it's not only used in like a sexual way. If we fight and either one of us needs it to stops or is hurting and needs comfort and needs to hit the reset button to go into loving daddy/ baby mood, we safe word. my dom has safe worded before in agreements to get me to calm down and take the stress of fighting away. I've safe worded when I got scared or panicked. It's just a thing we do when we need it. I would suggest that so in situations like this you don't have to feel like you have to, 'stay out of his way'. I think that would be a terrible mind set to be in. You're supposed to be his world and if you're upset or hurting and want to be little then he should put away his bitter mood and be there for you. 

 

That is all just my opinion, I'm not an expert or anything. I'm just trying to help.  

[Littleonenajha]

Thats a good idea, I have a history of abuse from the men I find myself with and he used to be no better towards me. But he has grown a lot

[Guest Princessaj]

Just reading your words made me shudder. I am so sensitive to peoples moods.

I want to suggest an exercise. The purpose of the exercise is to have you be

able to step out of the situation and look at it from the outside. Not easy, I know.

 

There is a right time to approach/discuss and there is a wrong time. I suggest you

learn his behaviors to help tell you better which it is. The following steps will give

you somethings to consider about learning about this.

 

First, let go of yesterday, that is gone. .His bad mood has nothing to do with you until he tells you and you have a grownup discussion.. Something is going on that for whatever reason, he is holding inside.

 

Second, ask yourself some questions to help you see if you can prevent your experience of his bad mood and maybe help him so that it happens less.

.

Although you say he has grown a lot....do you see a pattern of him having this bad mood?

Can you look back in the last week or so and see any signs that something is bothering him?

Has his sleep changed? Is he eating differently? When someone is holding something inside

it usually starts to show on the outside too.

 

In future, if he starts to show these signs again, you can be prepared to approach him. I would 

really work on a structured talk to help you with your confidence and keep you on track. I don't

 what your style of communication is, but you can always be better prepared. I really hope you

find an agreed upon protocol for when he is having moods to help you better deal with him and

how to take better care of yourself. Please feel free to reach out for just being listened to or a

chat. Blessings, Princess

[LittlePrincessOz]

I dithered and withered over whether or not to weigh in on this or not.  Mostly because I'm still even learning what it even means to be a Little.  So, I hope it's okay that I weigh in!

 

The only way I know how to do that, though, is to explain the dynamics of the relationship I have with my Daddy and to give you some background about myself.

 

I have been incredibly abused for most of my entire life, including well into adulthood.  That caused...great rifts to be created.  It's hard for me to trust anyone.  At all.  For any reason.  I have 4 people I trust and one of them I consider my daughter.  The other two are my foster parents who adopted me.  The fourth?  My Daddy.

 

He has all of my trust, and all of my love.  Because he -earned- it.  First, we just played the same game together.  We didn't even speak OOCly (it's an RP game, OOC is 'Out Of Character').  And then we delved into talking to each other OOCly.  It was slow.  Gradual.  We both suffer from extreme social anxiety for several reasons, mine are listed above.  Daddy's (GentleGiant) are his to tell in his own time if he so chooses.  THen, we started talking on Skype.  And then texting.  And then....  He was my friend.  Soon, my best friend.

 

We were friends.  We built trust.  We talked about things with each other that we'd never discussed with anyone else.  And in it's own right it was beautiful and tragic.  I cried a lot...  And he was always there.  Comforting, loving.  So, one day...  I told him that I wanted to dive into it.  And I just... put it all out there.  How I feel.  How I...  Everything.  At this point, he did not know he was a Daddy and I did not know I was a Little.  Mostly because sex for me was -very- very hard to even discuss (it's hard for me to discuss it in this format because there are unknown variables.  People I don't know reading it, and...  And...  Daddy is my safety blanket for all that...)

 

Anyway.  We...  We got to where we are now.  One of the BIGGEST things for that, is as severe as the punishments may be at times (and they are!) or as fierce as the sex is (Whoo baby did it get hot in here?!) Daddy ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS takes care of me after.  Always.  Rubbing lotion on my bum if he spanked me, or just making sure I have my stuffies and my blankie...

 

I also take care of him, too.  Sometimes (it doesn't happen nearly as often now!) Daddy is afraid he was too firm, or toed the line too much, and he is overly worried about my well being.  Sometimes I need to hold him, and just rub his back and let him know that I am okay.  Daddy's need After Care sometimes, too.

[GentleGiant]

I am ... very new to this myself.

 

Long story short, Everything Oz said and more ... I found in her a very close soul and it's all been crazy but ... I am VERY new. VERY new at this whole deal but I want to say ... I identified with this because Oz asked me if I was comfortable with it, gave me some information ... I enjoy being someone's Daddy in a way that has very little to do with the Dom aspect or the sex of it. I enjoy comforting her, and being there for her to be exhuberant to and I find as much satisfaction in THAT as I do anything else.

 

I think that I am a bit of late-blooming Dom ... but I've always had the urge to protect and to be the knight in shining armor and so I think somewhere I've always been a "Daddy". Remind him of that is my advice and remind yourself and take comfort in it if he's grown alot then have hope! If you need that space and you need his comfort then his priority should be to give it to you. I think that often people can forget or slightly forget that both Daddy space and Little space is very fragile.

 

I hope this perspective maybe helps a little! Long winded I know but short of it is - He should support your needs and in turn there should be more a comfort for you to feel comfort in the thought of just trying to cheer him up!  My empathy is with you I hope things work out!

[Littleonenajha]

Thank you everyone, we hit a snag 2 days ago when our mentors completely turned their backs on us. It set him back a lot because they were accusing him of things he works hard to improve on. I was avle to cheer him up though