what to do if your partner exposes you

[princessstassie]

Hi all, I have been into abdl and ddlg in one way or another since I was 5 years old. Its obviously been very private to me and I haven't told anyone since I decided to tell my boyfriend. I told him before we began a relationship but still had a very close bond. After a while we started getting into a routine where he would put me down for naps or bedtime and it became something very private and meaningful to us. We just recently decided to commit to a relationship and since then he told me that he told some of his friends about our routines a while back, used the term ddlg, and told them I was the reason he got into it. He told me it was because he was so excited about it and it was so new to him he had to tell somebody but at the same time he knew how much it would hurt me if this information got out. What bothers me even more is that I've had suspicion for a while that he told these friends this and he kept denying it until I made him spit out. I just need advice on where our relationship should go from here because I love him so much and he really is an amazing person but at the same time I feel so betrayed. If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

[KittenAurora]

First you should make sure he knows how much doing that hurt you and affected your trust in him..make sure to make it clear that he betrayed you by doing that and even if he was super excited about something if it was going to hurt you he shouldn't do it and theres no excuse if he keeps doing this knowing that it's hurting you I would strongly suggest leaving him because if he really cared about you he wouldn't do something that would effect you negatively that's so easy to not do.

 

Communication is key here and you guys should talk about this for a good amount of time and see where he stands in this and if he can maybe even make it up to you.

I hope that no matter what you two are happy together or not! remember there's always ups in downs in any relationship and the ones that last always make sure to make any experience good or bad is a learning one~ 

[pinkypromises]

x

Edited October 25, 2016 by pinkypromises

[DollDirector]

I agree with pinkypromises. It would be better for him to use kink-sites. When having a conversation with him you could also point out,not only that it is hurting you,but that it is bound to backfire on him one day or another. Try to find examples to explain that people will forget a lot of things,but not THESE things because they will have been impressed by how strongly he felt about the subject,when telling them. 

[Guest TwinklingSpace]

I feel for you princessstassie, I can't imagine how you must feel. That must be so hard and tough to deal with. I'm so happy that you were able to find this community and able to reach out for help and comfort.

 

I think the fact that you're reaching out for help in this situation is a good sign.

 

I hate to be one of "those" people, but try and see this situation from your boy friends point of view. He was happy and excited with something new and different and he told his friends. I think this is a natural thing that a lot of people. That is sharing something new and exciting. Yes, he maybe he shouldn't have done that. But he did and it's in the past now. You get to decide the future, you can't change what he did.

 

What I'm going to say next might be painful to hear/read, but I think it needs to be said.

 

What he did, isn't that bad compared to other things he could have done. This is just a small thing, and even though it might feel like a huge life changing moment. I don't think it is. He made a mistake, he's human. We all make mistakes.

 

And like you said, you love him. I think you can over look and forgive one thing to continue on with your relationship.

 

Now, that doesn't mean you let him off completely. What he did is wrong and he did bend your trust.

 

Like what pinkypromises, sit him down and have a conversation on how this makes you feel and how you want your personal lives to stay private. Set up boundaries, do's and dont's. This is a normal thing to do in any relationship. Make sure he knows how you feel, let it all out. And then, leave it alone. Don't keep pestering the situation or throwing it in his face. Let it all out, get it completely out of your system and move on. Dwelling on this one minor mistake is only going to make you miserable and ruin your relationship.

 

Relationships take a lot of work. Especially one like this. Just keep working at it and be completely honest