Need advice from a Daddy's view. :/

[kitten97]

My DD is amazing, we have been together for 3 years and he treats me perfect. However, we are also now engaged and things are getting more serious. I have told him since i am in college now, I do not want to be getting into fights at all with him and that i will fully submit. However, he finds this very hard. He claims that when its a relationship issue (such as me drinking at parties without telling him, P.S. didn't know having one beer would freak him out so much), he wants to sit down and discuss tings as my partner rather than just taking it out on me. I've told him that we do discuss things as partners in our DDLG relationship the same way, a spanking usually just follows it. But he said he can't get into the daddy role at all when i do something that is that detrimental. I'm having a problem because that's when i need it the most. I want that to be our outlet when we have problems. He just doesn't agree. Do any daddy's have the same views and could explain it better to me why he feels this way? For me, my little side is always there. It doesn't make sense that i would shut it off when were talking about serious relationship issues.

[Guest tdebr]

In my opinion it sounds like hes not immersed into the lifestyle as you are.  It maybe be that he views it as more of a simple roleplay or game to turn on or off. i could be wrong again just my opinion. maybe try to explain to him that to you the relationships are one in the same there is no separation to you. that this is the lifestyle you want and not just something u do.

[Guest LiddlePwincess]

On the flip side if a serious adult conversation is something he really needs is it not worth doing that for him once in a while...Then again Im not sure having one beer justifies him freaking out. Like the comment above you two might have very different opinions on what this lifestyle means so maybe discussing what he considers in the DDLG part and whats out of it might be a good place to start.

[Donatien]

It is an interesting set of challenges this. Here's a theory; which issues that should be dealt with in partner mode and which that should be dealt with in DD/lg mode should be thoroughly established. This could be an easy task to separate for one of you, but not nessesarily for the other. And it seams to me you have a pretty good idea how you would prefer it.

But: one could be a little wishy washy about those borders.

Maybe to escape the responsibility of a certain situation that might just be to serious to deal with in DD/lg mode. Because lets face it, this is a lifestyle and not a career. There are allways situations occuring that need to be dealt with in an adult-to-adult manner. I have no doubt that you are sincere with your intentions though.

 

Which brings us to the incident with the beer. It could be a trust issue from something in your history that is left undealt with. But it could also be as simple as you two talking through the 'rules' if you will, and make them clearer. If you find that he's not with you all the way, try convincing him to not be so precious about his preferences. Make him stretch it a little. Use your charm and humor.

And if he's scared, help him relax into it. Encourage him. Invite him in.

 

And then there is of course the possebillity that he's not a real daddy, but that would be to sad, so I won't mention that

 

These were my thoughts. Hope they can be of help.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

Not everyone lives this lifestyle 24/7. In fact it seems most don't and he may be one who doesn't. That may change in the future and it might not. You'll have to talk to him.

[kitten97]

We've been ddlg longer than we've been dating. He was first to bring it up, which is why it's so confusing for me. We also live it 24/7 so that's another reason why I just don't get that there would ever be a situation where we didn't. Edited September 22, 2016 by kitten97

[Guest GrapeApe]

In my humble opinion, this is a difficult situation for both of you.  It seems your DD is older than you - and yet, you are just going into your college years, when you grow, learn, explore, etc.  Therefore, he is going to feel overly jealous and protective, which, frankly, is not fair to you. 

 

You may underestimate the significane alcohol can have on a person, especially a female away at college.  One beer, may lead to another.  It also may be enough to make you make poor judgements.  These are lessons you need to learn, one way or another, but having your daddy refuse to be honest and upfront with you about it is a serious problem.

 

Personally, I do not drink alcohol at all.  Zero.  But I can see the effects it has on people, and how it can make people do things they would not normally do.  Especially young people.  Your DD may be overly worried about you, being around alcohol, and other people, unsupervised.  If you can't resolve this issue, you may need to take some time off, to explore your own self more.

[Donatien]

If you are allways a little, I can see how that could become a challenge over time. Maybe your daddy really needs to talk to the other you every now and then. It's hard to say. But you should have an honest talk about it. Good luck

[raptorkitty]

I honestly feel that its great that he wants to talk about it. Maybe in his way, lectures are the punishment. Its fantastic that he wants to know why you did something and why you thought the way you did. It may make him better understand you more and therefore he can make rules based on your personality. Maybe letting him lecture you isn't a bad thing, just ask that afterward, he punishes you physically? 

[kitten97]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. You all have helped me so much. I'm going to talk to him and discuss it further with him.