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New LDR Caregiver... Dealing with depressed little


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Posted

I'm a fairly new CG. My little is struggling with depression and along with being an over thinker. He is having a hard time right now. I can see him pulling away and I'm not sure how I can help him through this when He isn't communicating to me like we have been (All he can tell me is that he feels "bleh"). I've delt with depression before but it is so Hard for me to watch his struggle.

 

So any insite or advice here would be greatly appreciate. How can I get/keep him talking? What works for you guys?

 

I know there is a fine line between showing support and pushing him away. I'm a bit concerned that I will cross that line. I feel him hurting in all our communication, and it's making me hurt too. HELP PLEASE!

Posted

I'm not quite sure if you want advice from a Little or a CG, but I can give you some advice based on how my CG delt/deals with my battle with depression.

 

Tips (not all may apply to your situation)

:heart: Send short sweet messages throughout the day

:heart: Order a stuffy online and have it sent to them

:heart: Remind them that you always care about what they do in and out of Little space

:heart: Use other forms of communication besides messaging. Try a phone call or Skype (or other video calling) 

:heart: Send pictures of things that you think they would like (i.e clothing, kitten pictures, tv show list, text post off of tumblr)

:heart: Ask them to describe their day in great detail, talk about different sensory things like taste, touch and smell

:heart: Make up a silly game to play like "emoji story" (Ill explain that at the bottom of the post) 

:heart: Talk about their friends

:heart: Tell then about YOUR day in great detail

:heart: Ask them about their favorite things, but share just as much. *You can feel depressed when you give out too much information adn are not receiving anything from the other person!*

 

Emoji Story

 

*To play this game you need to have similar phones (Apple, Android, ect)*

 

This game requires some effort and for you to know fairly common stories, but is simple enough for anyone to play!

 

1) Pick a story

2) Find the best emojis to describe the stories without words

3) Send it to your partner and let them guess what the story is

 

If they get it correct within the 3 tries they get a point

 

See? Easy! Lots of fun and the better you get the longer you can make the stories! 

Posted

While everything BabyGirl said is valid, and very helpful it might be a good idea to push the idea of getting help onto your little. In relationships it's important that both people are stable enough for the relationship, or else one will be feeling much like you're feeling right now. 

  • Like 2
Posted

I have to agree with both replies above me. As a mommy who's little was also very depressed I learned that It is crucial to show them that you love them at all times and try to make them smile and just be generally happy. It is very hard to do in subtle ways they actually will like. What you need to do is talk to him about little things or just general things you know he likes and if you see even the slightest of interest or by Gods grace a spark in his eyes you need to cling onto the one thing and make it more. So if it's a show, watch it with him send him coloring pages for it or have him talk about it. The trick is stumblingarounf in the dark until you find that special something. By doing this, you are basically retraining their mind to be happy and have joy.

 

But you also do need to try to guide them to get some help if they do not show ANY improvement. If you see a smile you are getting somewhere but you as probably the closest person in their life need to asses how depressed they were to start. If it is a real severe case you might want to tell them to get help right off the bat and these happiness techniques just be used to hold them over until said appointment.

 

Depression could be almost described as one of those apps where as you progress the target frets smaller and smaller or moves faster and faster making it harder to hit or even find. That's why their is so much stumbling in the dark. If the depression isn't too bad you'll be able to find some things quickly and basically go backwards in that game and the targets will get bigger and bigger and easier and easier to find. But if the depression has gone far it will be very very hard to get started and may take a very very long time to se any improvement. But no matter what you need to be here for him. He could be thinking your the only one he has even if he doesn't show it or you could be the only one he actually does have or any other possibility you must be strong for the both of you in this very fragile delicate time.

 

All the luck to you both! If you want to ask me any questions feel free to pm me!

-TheQueen

Posted
Thanks for the tips ladies. He is changing meds right now, that is a part of why things are rocky. hopefully they will help him evenout again soon.
Posted (edited)

I think you should help your little help himself. In this case, simple "cheering up" isn't enough. Depression is a serious medical condition and should be treated as such. Encourage him to seek professional help, and support him throughout the process. Be willing to accept that he might not be ready for a relationship until he is able to learn better coping mechanisms. If you want to be very supportive and get him something, maybe getting him a book on the subject could help. Good luck! :heart:

Edited by stargirl
Posted
As I said... He is already seeking help. I am looking for ways to be an asset to that. I ahe gone through bouts of depression, I know it is not as simple as "just cheer up and get over it"

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