Help Me Pwease!

[ThisLittleLamb]

So I guess I should start off from the beginning...Hello, my name's This Little Lamb (first rule of the internet, never give out your actual name *giggles*) and I'm a 19 year old Little girl. So about 2 years ago I met this guy online. I never meant to become attached to him, I just wanted to have a friend to introduce me to the ddlg lifestyle. But we ended up becoming what we are now, Daddy and Little Girl. At first, we only talked over email but we've recently started texting and have even used Skype once or twice. Here recently though, I've been having bad feelings about him. I feel like we move too fast with things and like I know nothing about him while he knows a lot about me. Sometimes he'll go a day without texting me back and I'm left feeling like I'm too pushy or clingy, while he expects me to text him every time I'm home from my classes or going to work. I've already stopped talking to him because of these feelings about 3 separate times, I keep coming back to him and I don't know why. I honestly don't know what to do, hes recently started talking about me moving in with him and actually being together. But I've told him I don't think that can happen soon because of my college/work life, plus my family doesn't know about me being a Little..they'd think I'd lost my mind if I said I'm moving away to go be with this older guy I call Daddy/Master. But he doesn't seem to care, he just wants me there with him. Have i gotten myself involved with a fake Daddy? Do I cut him off completely and move on? I'm honestly so confused about all of this...if anyone can give me some sort of advice please share it with me. Thank you ^w^

[Guest LiddlePwincess]

Have you shared these concerns with him? As much as we all love being little sometimes we have to be in grown up space and really talk seriously about certain things. This definately seems like one of those times sweetie. I would always say talk it out first and if it still doesnt seem right take a break from the situation and come back to it and try again. I know you want to make your Daddy happy but you also need to be happy and more importantly be comfortable with what you are doing. Sometimes things just dont work out and we grow and change and thats totally okay. Never be afraid to step away from something thats making you unhappy. I hope you sort it out soon *huggles*

[BabyGirl32015]

What it sounds like to me is that you might have run into a predator that has done his research. I could be wrong, but really young Little's like us are ALWAYS at risk for things like this to happen. Honestly, I have never gone searching for a Daddy online because of the potential dangers AND the fact that I absolutely crave physical touch (i.e holding hands and cuddling). But the second bit is besides the point. 

 

Talk to him, tell him how you feel. I hate having to come out of Little space to talk about a problem, but sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and, in the words of Shai LaBeouf, just do it. I know it's not the easiest or most fun way to do things, but think of it this way. Witch way hurts more to pull off a band-aid? Really fast like a big girl? Or peeling it off centimeters at a time until its finally gone?

 

In the end you could get some information, or potentially have your concerns ignored in witch case I would seriously consider leaving him. If he can't listen to what you have to say now why would he listen to you with something even more complex, or worse, a simple "No"? I'm not here to make you feel miserable but these are things you HAVE to take into consideration when there are things in a relationship that could make things bad for you later on down the road.

 

I hope i helped a little bit

:heart:

[LoralieHaze]

Wait, you've been talking to someone online for two years and you don't feel like you know anything about him? How old is this dude?

[ThisLittleLamb]

Thank you guys for the replies! To kinda answer some of your questions you asked in your replies...Yes I've tried talking about these things and feelings with him but he either ignores them or changes the subject. Most of the time he just replies with something like "okay baby girl". In response to BabyGirl32015, I feel like maybe that's the situation I've run into. I don't want it to be like that but the more I actually start thinking about certain things my Daddy's said and done I feel like maybe he's not 100% a daddy. I feel like he's more of a "call me daddy" guy instead of a caregiver type Daddy......

[BabyGirl32015]

You are very welcome and I hope to hear about what you end up doing and will be here to talk if you would like. I hate to see a sad Little EVER!

[Guest Princessaj]

I am more concerned about you IRL=In Real Life than in DDlg.

 

Don't be embarrassed.

 

I have met every type of con man in the book and a month ago, my very first registered sex offender on a Christian dating site.

 

Before you talk to him, I would make a list of what you know about him (verified) and what you don't IRL=In Real Life.

 

-Do you know his real name?

-Have you done a google search of his name?

-Can you match his name with results that show places/cities states, he has told you he has lived?

-Have you found his social network, facebook, twitter, instagram, LinkedIn????

-Have you searched the sex offender's registry in his state?

 

All of this is free and anyone can do it.

 

Recently and for the first time ever, I used my above process and came up empty on someone (another one from a Christian dating site) Not a good feeling no matter how Christian I am.

 

My "older sister" hairs are standing up on the back of my neck......

 

Feel free to friend me and ask questions. Better safe than dead.

 

 

 

.

[Guest GrapeApe]

From a guy's standpoint, who is not a 'predator', two red flags pop up, immediately.  I did not get the sense that you have met this person in real life, before?  Yet you are considering moving far away to LIVE with him?  That seems absurd.

 

A read 'Daddy' would genuinely care about your concerns the FIRST time you brought them up, and would respond with honest, caring, and understanding answers.  Not brush them off by saying 'oh, it's ok baby girl."  Again, huge red flag.

 

My opinion - Cut and Run.  You may have dodged a bullet here.  Honestly, Young people do not truly understand the dynamics of serious relationships, or the true nature / dangers of the internet.  You are still very young, I suggest putting some distance between yourself and this kind of exposure, if you are so easily affected.

[Kitten(Little)]

I don't usually reply to stuff like this, but now I'm very worried about you. The fact that you're having bad feelings at all means something up. Our body's and brains have this uncanny ability to know when something is wrong before it's actually clear that there is a problem. In the times you stepped away did he ever text you? Like did he send concerned texts like "hey I haven't heard from you, I'm a little worried are you alright?" Or was it threat type stuff? Like "missy. You better not be giving me the silent treatment. I'll spank you if you are." These to me are very important responses, my daddy is ALWAYS concerned first, if he later finds out I was just being a booty then I'm in trouble. How much older then you is he? I feel so useless is this situation because I've never met someone online and started dating them, I have friends who have though and I wish they were here to help... it sounds like you haven't met him before, and he's already talking about you moving in with him? That doesn't sound good. IMO this doesn't sound like a safe situation. I'm not saying leave the relationship, but DO NOT give him any more personal information about you then you already have, and don't allow the relationship to progress until you feel comfortable where you're at, it may just be that he's used to relationships moving quickly, and that's not your style. I hope my crazy little rant helped (I understand that it probably didn't) just please please please be safe, okay? One little to another, it's scary out there in the world without a daddy, but I have 100% confidence in you, if you do end it, yes you'll be sad for a little while, but you'll find you can still be a little even without a daddy.

[ThisLittleLamb]

Thank you guys, your guys responses are really helping me. I've come to the conclusion that this isn't someone that I want to keep talking to...but I'm not exactly sure on how to tell them that they make me uncomfortable and that I want to leave. Can anyone help me with suggestions? I'm sorry if I'm bugging anyone, it's just this is my first ddlg experience and I'm not sure on what to do...tank you

[Guest GrapeApe]

I don't think you owe this guy an explanation, seeing as how he has tried to manipulate you into giving your life to him...

 

How about, "Dear <Blank>, I am sorry but I do not feel this relationship is good for me anymore.  Good luck and goodbye."

 

Then block him, or at the very least do not communicate or read his messages. 

 

Humans are highly suggestible, in many ways.  Cults, Brainwashing, etc.  If this person has managed to exert their influence on you so strongly that you are having a difficult time separating, then that in itself is another huge red flag.  It will probably take a lot of effort on your part to separate yourself.  Just be strong, and be your own 'Authentic' self.  Not someone else's.

 

Authentic, meaning, who are you as a person inside?  What is most true about your own self?  What are your true goals and passions?  These kinds of things can be authentic.

 

Young people can get caught up in the importance of relationships.  Females, especially, seem to feel a need (possibly culturally influenced) to 'be' with someone, and not be single. 

 

What is so bad about being single?  At least, as compared to being in a semi-online-relationship that is highly suspicious?

Edited September 17, 2016 by GrapeApe

[ThisLittleLamb]

Does it make me a bad Little? I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time with this. I mean I'm not completely silly, I know this guy is bad for me.

[Kitten(Little)]

Does it make me a bad Little? I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time with this. I mean I'm not completely silly, I know this guy is bad for me.

Leaving him doesn't make you a bad little, no matter what he says to make you think that you are. I promise

[Guest GrapeApe]

Short answer: No, you are not being a bad little.

 

Longer Answer: I detect two definitions of the word 'bad' in your question.  In the first, are you a bad little to this person in particular?  I would say no, that is impossible, because you were never in a true Dd/Lg relationship.  So by moving on you are simply protecting yourself and your own interests.  There is no true dynamic there.

 

In the second sense, are you being a bad little, in general?  I would answer, again, no.  Because I don't think it is possible to be a 'bad' little, in general, although in a true Dd/Lg dynamic, there can be senses in which a little can be 'naughty' for some reason or other, but I would not equate that with being 'bad' as a little.  There are no bad littles, only bad people who try to take advantage of them.

[Thequeen]

 (well then.... apparently there is a magic button on my computer that erases everything you worked so hard to type for the last ten minutes... "sigh" well this one wont be as good as the last but it was important so here it goes again...)

 

Alright so you should not feel bad for leaving him. This man has essentially creeped out an entire group of people with his actions which is not good by any means. A relationship is for the benefit and betterment of both people and if you arent getting that then do NOT feel any guilt for leaving because you are doing nothing wrong and you are NOT bad for doing any of this.

 

As for why this is so hard for you, Im assuming you mean dumping him? Well based on what I've seen and assumed, I think this man may have gotten into many arguments, fights, or disagreements with you that in the en you had to beg for his forgiveness. If I am correct about that, then the fight or flight instinct was literally engraved into your mind by this man. What this means, is you basically feel fear anytime you try to leave him because your mind thinks its him all the way or no other way. ( This same thing happened to me awhile ago so I talk from sad painful experience) The mind is not easy to bet but it can be done. You need to assure it that you deserve to be free from him and you will live one without him, which is hard.

 

This wont be an easy fight but to help you a bit, what GrapeApe said is very very true. Do NOT read his messages he send you after you break up with him. He will convience you to come back because he has you strung up like a puppet which is not good or healthy for any relationship so you need to be strong, send the message, then get rid of his connection to you- block his email, block his number, delete the app, ANYTHING! just STAY AWAY! You do not want to get pulled back in other wise it will get harder and harder each time and you might never get out and if its hurting you as much as it seems to be then you need to get out for good!

 

Please keep us all posted, we all are so worried about you and want to know your safe from this man and any one here is more than happy to be friends with you and offer you support in any way possible so reach out to those you can actually trust after all this and have a support team or friends with you (in person or online) when you break up with him so they can help keep you strong, calm, and away from him. Good luck honey, you can do it we all have faith in you to get your life back,

-TheQueen