Just not feeling it.

[Angel(Daddy)]

My kitten and I got into a fight yesterday and basically I found out she's only a little whenever she wants to be. The two previous day's she'd been a little (and even calling me daddy outside of little space) but she completely stopped yesterday. No daddy no drawings no cutesy self. As if we were just back to boyfriend girlfriend and it hurt, alot. Today I just didn't feel like being daddy. I don't have a daddy space but I just did not want to be daddy and I'm afraid its going to be this way. Any advice?

[Guest Princessaj]

It sounds like you are both having DDlg identity crisis.

 

Give yourself a break, you are 18.

 

It is most likely or rather guaranteed that you will have many littles and/or vanillas in your lifetime.

 

I believe that if you are really a Daddy, you are, with or without, a little. There are plenty of Daddies on the forum that don't have littles and they are the most caring people, using their Daddy-ness on a daily basis to help others. Only you can decide if you are a Daddy. Having a little does not make you a Daddy. If being a Daddy makes you happy, don't ever let anyone have control over whether or not you can be content. You also may need a Daddy break and to care for yourself.

 

Your little is having her own experience, of, perhaps questioning herself, being a little. The same goes for her that I shared above.

 

You might want to take a wander through this post to enlighten you to an organized thinking on the DDlg Lifestyle and how it is lived by others. This is the writer's opinion, but I found it quite informational for myself. 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12897-ddlg-the-serious-end-of-things/ 

 

Best of everything. I think Daddy's are very special people. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Little_sub]

Maybe you should try to get closer to your kitten, be kind and gentle, she might be wanting your attention. 

Littles enjoy being taken care and cherished.

 

Tell her how you fell, how much you like her being your kitten and how much you miss it.

 

Hope things will get better between you two,

xx

[BabyGirl32015]

I do this to my daddy sometimes if I'm giving him the cold shoulder for one reason or another. I don't switch in and out when I feel like it, but I refrain from calling him Daddy, showing off my pictures, dressing in my Little outfits. Maybe she's upset about something and is trying to avoid it? There may not be anything, I'm just going off of what I know so please don't panic.

 

As for you "phasing" out of your daddy like habits, its a rejection thing, I see it with my Daddy when I'm a little "too much to handle" sometimes. Take this as an oppertunity to be calm and collect yourself before approaching your Little.

 

Talk to her, see if there is anything wrong, and don't be discouraged about not feeling super daddy-ish every once in a while, theres nothing wrong with it. You are still learning!

[Angel(Daddy)]

It sounds like you are both having DDlg identity crisis.

 

Give yourself a break, you are 18.

 

It is most likely or rather guaranteed that you will have many littles and/or vanillas in your lifetime.

 

I believe that if you are really a Daddy, you are, with or without, a little. There are plenty of Daddies on the forum that don't have littles and they are the most caring people, using their Daddy-ness on a daily basis to help others. Only you can decide if you are a Daddy. Having a little does not make you a Daddy. If being a Daddy makes you happy, don't ever let anyone have control over whether or not you can be content. You also may need a Daddy break and to care for yourself.

 

Your little is having her own experience, of, perhaps questioning herself, being a little. The same goes for her that I shared above.

 

You might want to take a wander through this post to enlighten you to an organized thinking on the DDlg Lifestyle and how it is lived by others. This is the writer's opinion, but I found it quite informational for myself. 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12897-ddlg-the-serious-end-of-things/ 

 

Best of everything. I think Daddy's are very special people. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

Well, it's not that I don't want to be a daddy. It's just, I don't feel like coddling and babying her at this time. I just felt kinda angry at her and more or less wanted her to go away for awhile. I love her, and I'm sure she'll be my only little (we are engaged) and have been since before the ddlg came into our relationship.

[Angel(Daddy)]

Maybe you should try to get closer to your kitten, be kind and gentle, she might be wanting your attention. 

Littles enjoy being taken care and cherished.

 

Tell her how you fell, how much you like her being your kitten and how much you miss it.

 

Hope things will get better between you two,

xx

She knows how much it means to me. I think that's why she stopped. She was punishing me.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

You guys are human being first, Daddy and little second. People have their ups and downs, thats perfectly normal for all of us. Sounds like she may be being a little bratty and youre a little hurt by it, but it will pass and you guys will be ok. If youre feeling sad or hurt, youre entitled to those feeling, embrace them. Spend the time she is being bratty focusing on yourself and how to cope with these feelings in a healthy manner. And i promise you, it will make you a better stronger and more capable caregiver. Be her rock, thats, imo, something that littles look for their caregivers to be.

 

ALL relationsips have their high points and low points. You guys will be ok.

Edited September 14, 2016 by SugarBear

[Thequeen]

The one hung I learned as a mommy is if your gut is telling you to do something then do it. If your gut says you want some space you need to give it to yourself. It's only fair to you. Your mind will sometimes know best. You might have a lot of internal turbulence causing so much of this. I know I need to meditate every once in awhile or I risk blowing up at my little. It's just a time to think and remember what things I do and don't like that way I don't lead on my little by letting everything else in daily life take me away from what I actually enjoy. I mean just the other day we had a huge fight because I hadn't mediated in weeks because life had gotten so hectic.

 

So I think you should straight out tell her that you need some alone time to thing, give her an estimated time you don't want to scare or hurt her and you especially don't want to lie to her. Then go do it. Take a walk think and clear your mind we all deserve it. Little's are amazing but we as mommies and daddies deal with a lot on a day to day basis so we should be allowed that time to think. Just again don't lie and don't leave her wondering. Tell her where you will be and for how long and if you realize you need more time text her saying that so she doesn't get scared or worried because even if she's acting out she still deserves hay love and care from her daddy.

 

Hope this helped some! And good luck to you both!

-TheQueen

[DaddyPenguin]

No matter in what type of relationship we are in we do need some "self time". None of us are perfect and we will do something wrong and/or make mistakes.

I would say the best thing is communication. Sit down with your little and try to see what may be going on in her head, her earth and see what she may be feeling.