I need an instant help here, i have a real big problem

[NeedSomeHelp]

Hi everyone, i'm male, homosexual, 18 yo from Italy, and i've got a real big problem regarding this type of relation called ddlg that i lately discovered: for true, i've been looking for a solution to my problem for 4 years, so i'm expecting to find some good advices... 

Everything started 4 years ago, when i beginned to attend high schools: there i found a classmate, who i'll call with the fantasy name "Rick" to make this topic easier to understand. Rick has been my real true first friend, since, during the schools before, i had not the chance to make a lot of friends. He saw throught me somekind of vulnerability (as if he would think) and in me someone to take care of. Firstly i did enjoy the way he treated me: he pretended to be the smartest, the strongest and still he was the most caregiving person i'd ever know. He wanted to know everything about me, he used to comfort me whenever i'd get stressed out, if i was in trouble or in panic for something, telling me that he would've been with me for help, since i was "little", since i was "under his protégé" for reasons i hope to know. It may sound a little strange for you guys: he's just a few months elder, but i guess that was ok for him to start somekind of "pupil and daddy" relation without my agreement. Thought, i'd never imagine that he saw me by this way for many years. To be short, things just got bad: one day i decided to present him my best friend (female), who wanted to meet him since she was intrerested. He became jealous as hell: i swear, i thought for real that he was straight, not homo, but when everything of these mine's "friendships sharing" just beginned, he got mad with me, he pretending that he only cared about my best friend, he started to make me feel just like a waste of time and so on... When i retired my self in loneliness he seemed to be pleased (since i broke my friendship with my best friend too for another story), he broke with her bf (with he did nothing with, otherwise i'd know from my best friend since she was very confidential with me) and started to act paternal again, but i refused. I was upset with him, i didn't want him to talk with me anymore. We did not talk to ourselfes for 1 year, at the end i beginned feeling infant, so i did talk to him again: he reborned, showing to me how much he was happy to talk with me again, but as a friend, no more as a "Daddy" or something like that. The last year, thought, he started taking care of me again, but now it's worse: he pays everything for me when we go out, he invites me at his home to sleep and seems to want me to live here forever (he doesn't approach during night time, we sleep in separated beds), he massages me when i look stressed, he complains because i smoke, he give me little tweaks when he thinks that i'm doing something that i shouldn't do, he randomly holds my hand when no one is looking. Plus, he stares at me, with that paternal look he cannot take off from his face. The problem is... i fell in love with him... he's the only one who has ever been caregiving with me... still i know that i am not the type for this relation: i'd be excited at first, but at the end i'd be violent to be indipendent. I love so much, now he's noticing that i blush whenever he does something for me or says something to me, and i noticed that i've been in love with him since the first time he said "I'll take care of you". I want to forget him, but in the polite way: i want to talk to him about this (we never did) and say that for how much i love him, we have to separate our ways... especially since now we're going to attend university, and i don't want him to follow me. I'm an ambitious one, me before others. I am really sorry for what i'm doing, i'll never forgive myself... but my greatest fear is to fall in this type of relationship and never come out of it! For this, i'm asking you what would be the best approach to him.... you're my last hope before everything could turn drammatically sad again...

[HeCallsMePrincess]

I'm trying to pick my way through this post to help, as it's difficult to read.

 

I'm confused at this point, do you or do you not want a CG or ddlg/b relationship in your life? because you have to understand that CG's want what's best for their little. they help them be the best they can and achieve their goals. having a CG or DD wouldn't or shouldn't prevent that.

 

also, just out of high school is very young to be settling down with anyone in a forever and ever sense.

[NeedSomeHelp]

@Daddy's Princess I don't want this type of relationship to start: i want to be reasonable with him. Also, i agree with you about what you're saying: i'm too young for a serious relationship... i just need advices for how to approach to him and say that i quit... that i don't want anything of this, also if i'm in love with him.

 

PS: sorry for my english... but i just rushed writing this topic at the first moment i found this site

[HeCallsMePrincess]

just tell him. make it clear you have no interest in any sort of relationship.

[NeedSomeHelp]

@Daddy's Princess You mean i've to be direct? 

[Guest Princessaj]

Let's help you finish this task, be able to put it behind you and move on. The story may keep telling itself over and over in your mind, but at least you can take this step to make a line not to be crossed. The line is only as good an you enforce it.

 

Prepare what you want to say as it you were talking to yourself. I call it giving the other person "Grace." Say it clearly, firmly and with love. Thank him for all that he has done for you. You will be forever grateful. No matter what he says, thank him.

 

When you are done, exit. Hang up, walk away, do not respond to texts. This is not a conversation, this is an exit.

 

You will repeat this behavior over and over, getting better and better, until you decide to stop. I have to do the same thing and I am way old.

 

Then I recommend, like an older sister, that you focus on your studies. Do not pursue or fall into any kind of romantic or Daddy/little relationship. Stand independent, find your own feet, fall down and get up. Having casual friends, with light interaction is ok. Do not get involved in their problems or gossip. I wish someone had told me when I was your age at Uni. Give yourself at least a year of full on school, all in.

 

When your grades/marks are good to great, then start researching DDlg like it is a class. Take a clinical look at stories and info you find here. Do not actively look for a Daddy, do not place a personal ad. Then make some friends. Be completely clean of your story that you are ending now. Your story here is not a real Daddy. Start fresh and have everyone you engage with, friends, not have to deal with the story you are exiting. Start from the beginning with only a clean curious mind and heart, not baggage, because you really don't have any. You had a momentary fantasy.

 

That is my piece/peace. Hope it helps. Let me know if your need anything else. Blessings,