Anyone with experience who can offer some advice?

[ChibiPuppy]

Hiii~ Thank you for taking your time to read this!

So here's the thing:

I have a long distance relationship with a boy. Earlier this year I realized that I am definitely a little and that I need to be able to be little in order to feel good about myself and let go about a lot of the stress, which I am sure a lot of you can relate to. At first I told him I needed to be little, which made him distance himself and that eventually lead to a break up. Months later he comes back to me and says he misses me and he'll try his best to accept me being little, so we began anew.

And he really does try, he does. But he is only doing this because I want him to, not because he actually likes it himself, and having a daddy like that really shines through. It's obvious he is bothered by it, and a lot of the things one would wish out of their daddy doesn't come naturally to him.

I appreciate his effort I lot, I do, but I also need space to evolve as a little. I am still also exploring and finding out how this works because I haven't really been in a DD/lg relationship before. I read a lot on forums like this, on blogs and other medias where I might find good information and I'm given a much different picture through that than I am in the relationship between me and my daddy.

What I wonder though, is it if it wrong for me to prioritize my happiness as a little of over the relationship I am currently in. Is it wrong of me to consider ending it and finding a daddy who is wholeheartedly into this, as a caregiver? Because since I don't have any little friends (or daddies), I really don't have anyone to keep me grounded and tell me when I am being selfish and when I'm neglecting myself and what I should let myself have.

I apologize if this post is too vague, and if anyone would like to help me in private messages please let me know. But I'd really, really appreciate some insight and advice on my situation because it's making me worried and anxious a lot.

Thank you!

[HeCallsMePrincess]

women have this bad habit of needing to justify ending a relationship. not being happy or satisfied is more than enough reason to end a relationship. he's not a Daddy. it's just not who he is. but if that's something you need out of a partner, then it's not going to work. and that's okay. I wouldn't want to be with someone who possibly thought less of me because of who I am, personally.  

[ChibiPuppy]

women have this bad habit of needing to justify ending a relationship. not being happy or satisfied is more than enough reason to end a relationship. he's not a Daddy. it's just not who he is. but if that's something you need out of a partner, then it's not going to work. and that's okay. I wouldn't want to be with someone who possibly thought less of me because of who I am, personally.  

Thank you! I'll definitely keep your answer in mind.

[Antoinette]

I understand how you feel but honestly, take a deep breath and think about why you're actually feeling how you're feeling. A lot of people get caught up in how a daddy or a little should act rather than the reality of how individuals act. If you are genuinely unhappy plainly because you feel as though you can't be yourself around your partner or because you don't feel they're not right for you then by all means - break it off. But, if it's because you're getting caught up looking for the most perfect, standard, cookie-cutter daddy then I'm sorry but you'll probably be looking for a very long time. Just keep in mind that not everybody is a 'daddy' through and through and not everybody is a 'little' through and through. 

Edited September 12, 2016 by xAntoinette

[ChibiPuppy]

I understand how you feel but honestly, take a deep breath and think about why you're actually feeling how you're feeling. A lot of people get caught up in how a daddy or a little should act rather than the reality of how individuals act. If you are genuinely unhappy plainly because you feel as though you can't be yourself around your partner or because you don't feel they're not right for you then by all means - break it off. But, if it's because you're getting caught up looking for the most perfect, standard, cookie-cutter daddy then I'm sorry but you'll probably be looking for a very long time. Just keep in mind that not everybody is a 'daddy' through and through and not everybody is a 'little' through and through. 

I understand what you're saying, and I definitely don't believe that anyone is a daddy nor a little through and through. But there are people who are actually into being a CG, just as I am into being a little. I am a little by all means, and I am sure there are daddies who think the same way about being a daddy, even if they are not the most perfect daddy/individual out there. In this case my boyfriend (or daddy) isn't into it. He's simply doing it as a favor to me and it feels so shallow.

 

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it a lot!

[Guest Princessaj]

I am new to DDlg, to the forum and a middle. I am waiting for a Daddy, but not that patiently. I am no Saint. That means I have to focus on learning what makes me happy being a middle and practicing it. I want to be the best middle as I can and when the time comes I will be ready. I practice by talking/messaging with some of the Daddies on the forum as friends so I can see through their eyes too, We are all DDlg even without Daddies and littles. Get excited about getting ready for a Daddy. Sent you a friend request.

[Guest MissNMTX]

I agree with what the other girls have told you. Being unhappy is definitely enough reason to break off a relationship...life is to short! The only thing being if you're truly unhappy and not getting stuck on labels.  I was/am guilty of this especially when I first came to the forum. The girls helped me so much though, its not about labels its about what makes you happier, less stressed, and more complete.

 

There's no such thing as a typical "little", but if there were I wouldn't be it! If I'm honest, if there were a way to have a "daddy" and not be "little" but younger instead that would suit me. The point being, we're all different, learning, and searching for what fits us. There's no perfect, cookie cutter mold. I know a guy that's definitely not a "daddy" but if it could work out for us to be together I would absolutely give it a shot because everything else about him makes me happy. 

 

My advice would be to make sure you're not getting stuck on labels and then if you find you're truly unhappy break it off and take the time to learn about what it is you really want/need out of a relationship.

Edited September 12, 2016 by MissNMTX

[LoralieHaze]

I understand what you're saying, and I definitely don't believe that anyone is a daddy nor a little through and through. But there are people who are actually into being a CG, just as I am into being a little. I am a little by all means, and I am sure there are daddies who think the same way about being a daddy, even if they are not the most perfect daddy/individual out there. In this case my boyfriend (or daddy) isn't into it. He's simply doing it as a favor to me and it feels so shallow.

 

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it a lot!

 

If he's only trying to be a Daddy just to appease you, that is nice, but will ultimately be unfulfilling. You, and every little, deserves to be with someone who feels in their heart that they're a caregiver, just as every caregiver deserves to be with someone who feels in their heart that they're a little. I know for a fact that there are men out there to whom being a Daddy comes naturally and it satisfies their soul. I also know they're not easy to find but most definitely worth the search and the wait. 

 

When reading your original post, the fact that he already reacted badly to you being a little seems like a red flag to me. If I were you, I would end it. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more or ask any questions.

[ChibiPuppy]

I agree with what the other girls have told you. Being unhappy is definitely enough reason to break off a relationship...life is to short! The only thing being if you're truly unhappy and not getting stuck on labels.  I was/am guilty of this especially when I first came to the forum. The girls helped me so much though, its not about labels its about what makes you happier, less stressed, and more complete.

 

There's no such thing as a typical "little", but if there were I wouldn't be it! If I'm honest, if there were a way to have a "daddy" and not be "little" but younger instead that would suit me. The point being, we're all different, learning, and searching for what fits us. There's no perfect, cookie cutter mold. I know a guy that's definitely not a "daddy" but if it could work out for us to be together I would absolutely give it a shot because everything else about him makes me happy. 

 

My advice would be to make sure you're not getting stuck on labels and then if you find you're truly unhappy break it off and take the time to learn about what it is you really want/need out of a relationship.

Getting stuck on labels is what I am scared for. It's very difficult to see if you're doing that yourself and that's why I decided to look for help. Thank you for your insight, much appreciated <3

 

If he's only trying to be a Daddy just to appease you, that is nice, but will ultimately be unfulfilling. You, and every little, deserves to be with someone who feels in their heart that they're a caregiver, just as every caregiver deserves to be with someone who feels in their heart that they're a little. I know for a fact that there are men out there to whom being a Daddy comes naturally and it satisfies their soul. I also know they're not easy to find but most definitely worth the search and the wait. 

 

When reading your original post, the fact that he already reacted badly to you being a little seems like a red flag to me. If I were you, I would end it. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more or ask any questions.

Thank you. That's what I am feeling. Our past alone still makes me anxious and worried, not to mention that his acting (even though I appreciate his efforts) isn't good enough to fool me most of the time. Thank you for your input, really. You've all been really helpful to me and allowed me to look at it outside my own head for a moment.

 

<3