Is it fair? (Not trying to be whiny)

[OverlyApologeticLittle]

Hi everyone! I'm pretty new to the DDlg lifestyle, as I'm with my first real daddy right now, and it's a long distance relationship. I just had a question for the community pertaining to some things my daddy does that make me angry/confuse me.

1. My daddy works nights, 12 and a half hour shifts with several breaks throughout the shift. I also have a job, but I work days/evenings, plus I am taking college classes. My daddy expects me to stay awake the whole time he is at work, even if it is a day where I had work and class. He gets very upset with me if I do fall asleep and miss a break. Today was especially hard during work, and I just wanted to sleep when I got home. I talked to my daddy on his first break, then worked on my homework a little, then decided to shut my eyes for a little while. When I woke up, I had slept through 2 of his breaks, and he was very upset. He knew I'd had a rough day, but he didn't seem to care at all. Now he wants me to choose my punishment and how I'm going to make it up to him (which I guess I'm okay with, I just don't know what to do for either of those.)

Is it fair of my daddy to expect me to not sleep at all so I can talk to him while he's at work, but then he gets to sleep all day and not talk to me while I'm at work/class?

[Guest Mr.Cuddles]

in a long distance relationship you both have to sort out your times for each other! cant just be one sided. you should talk to him about it not being fair on you, and see what you two can figure out together via skype and stuff? Its not really fair to expect that on you, and hes probably upset as he really likes you! i hope you the best of luck if you do talk to him about it, as it must be hard on you as well as him

[Guest Juliette]

Like king of cuddles said, you should talk to him about it. And how you feel about it! And I'm sure he will understand!  

[OverlyApologeticLittle]

Thanks everypony. I'll try to talk about it with him, though whenever I try to bring up something I'm unhappy about, he says it's just because he's a bad daddy, and won't listen to what I have to say anymore. I'll keep trying though!

[Mr. Grinch]

Toxic toxic tozic get out.

[Deimos420]

Ya seems off one thing if he has an expectation but should understand you have a life it's not feasible to always be 24/7 LDR but if he refuses to discuss just shuts down seems like trouble

[DollDirector]

" he says he is a bad daddy ". He is right and you both need a break from this. I would suggest you decide on a length of time and then try to make him promise that none of you will contact the other before this time has lapsed. Hopefully he will have read about ddlg and gathered his senses back,when you resume communication.

Who does he think he is ? You slept because you needed that sleep !

[HeCallsMePrincess]

Daddies care about their littles. they care about their health, physical, mental and emotional. it's not about you just doing what he says because he wants you to. he sounds selfish, tbh. I cannot imagine my Daddy making me stay awake all night because he might want to talk to me for a few minutes at a time, not caring how tired I am.

[annemarie]

honestly?? like quite honestly??? he sounds like he's being very unfair and might be a bit of an abusive jerk. the fact he expects you to deprive yourself of sleep and then when you bring it up to him that it's hurting you or that you'd like equal attention, trying to turn it back around on himself and act like he's the victim and he's "so sorry that he's a bad daddy" and yet he continues to treat you this way?? yeah, he's not treating you right, in my opinion. if i were you, i would explain to him that he's not treating you fairly and you expect something to change or you're not going to be in a relationship with him anymore. you deserve better than someone that expects you to be miserable to keep them comfortable, but can't even bother thinking of returning the favor.

Edited September 12, 2016 by annemarie

[Little Illy]

My response is going off just what you said here and not knowing anything else about you two or the relationship:

 

To be blunt? Get away from him. No caring Daddy would expect you to go without sleep, especially when you work and go to school. I think it is past the point of talking considering he is trying to punish you for SLEEPING.

 

This is not a heathy dynamic and he is not a healthy caregiver. I know you may have a very strong connection with him, but he has proven he is highly selfish and doesn't care about your physical and mental health. I don't know more otherwise I would go even as far as saying this is abusive solely because of the manipulation factor.

 

Just because he is your daddy doesn't mean he is a good daddy, I'm sorry. You have to know when to stick up for your own health and safety, because he is not.

[Trash Queen]

My response is going off just what you said here and not knowing anything else about you two or the relationship:

To be blunt? Get away from him. No caring Daddy would expect you to go without sleep, especially when you work and go to school. I think it is past the point of talking considering he is trying to punish you for SLEEPING.

This is not a heathy dynamic and he is not a healthy caregiver. I know you may have a very strong connection with him, but he has proven he is highly selfish and doesn't care about your physical and mental health. I don't know more otherwise I would go even as far as saying this is abusive solely because of the manipulation factor.

Just because he is your daddy doesn't mean he is a good daddy, I'm sorry. You have to know when to stick up for your own health and safety, because he is not.

This.

 

He's asking you to go without sleep? DANGER

 

Any person who asks you to sacrifice your health is no good. I mean if it's just an occasional thing to stay up a bit later or get up earlier, then fine. But not consistently asking you to go without sleep.

[Mrbeardman]

flee with great haste.  expecting you to be on call 24/7 for his needs while ignoring a biological need for sleep, or even caring how its affecting you is a big old mars sized red flag

[OverlyApologeticLittle]

Okay, so I guess I made this post when I was very tired and distraught. I talked to my daddy about it, and about this post I made. We had a very long talk about my limits, and what our expectations for each other are. We've decided to continue our relationship, but it will be different. I told him if I ever feel unsafe or uncared for again, I will leave. I'm not being punished for last night. I am safe. Thank you all for your concern, it means a lot.