DDlg relationship contracts/agreements?

[Guest Princessaj]

I cannot find an example of a DDlg Relationship Contract/agreement here or online.

 

Is there such a thing?

 

I have read that in BDSM relationship talk that having a "Relationship Contract/agreement" is something that is vital before starting anything IRL = In Real Life and combined/within the BDSM Lifestyle.

 

I have read posts here and across the internet talking about;;;

 

- Rules from Daddy/Mommy/CareGiver for babygirl-boy/little/middle/Princess-Prince/pet...

lots available there.

 

- Rules from babygirl-boy/little/middle/Princess-Prince/pet for Daddy/Mommy/CareGiver.....

nothing much, but interesting conversations.

 

So much of what is spoken about/problems/misunderstandings would be well framed/avoided/solved by having a clear and concise understanding of what each party is to expect from their partner and themselves. This would also be a super teaching tool for the next generation or anyone new.

 

Who thinks its a good idea and what would you want yours to say, whether you are already in a DDlg Relationship or looking to be? If you already have one, please share.

 

Let's keep this positive folks, please.

 

[Guest]

For me when I want to be collared (this is for kitten play not so much ddlg ) I want it to be special and have "vows". ( aka a contect / promises for our relationship)

 

I see collaring as the same level of commitment as being married. But I think having a clearly written out contect between someone(s) in a ddlg relationship would be a cool and wonderful idea as well

[Guest QueenJellybean]

There are a lot of ways to look at this. While some contracts have rules in them, some may not at all. 

 

Personally, when I was collared, we both exchanged self-written vows. There was a ceremony, as listed above. And it was really beautifully done.

 

Our vows are in our contract.

Our rules are in our contract.

Our rewards are in our contract.

Our punishments are in our contract.

 

Whatever floats your boat can be in your contract. It's a written agreement on what works between the two of you. Use it any way you like.

[Guest MissNMTX]

Maybe a silly question considering how much you're researching, but have you done a checklist yet?  One good thing out of my last attempt at a relationship was doing one. Personally, like you I like the idea of a contract, but if you both did checklists and had a discussion they may not be needed.  At least not as extensive of one. Perhaps the list could be an addendum to one.  as you limits and areas of interest are clearly defined.  Of course, as with anything else you as the middle/sub reserve the right to re define the limits/contract. ie. you list something as a "soft limit" try it and find its really a "hard limit" that revision is made, no question.

[phoenixpixie]

My Daddy and I have an Agreement that gets rewritten as our relationship progresses. It started out as basic rules he gave me and went through a couple drafts of adding things or removing what wasn't working. First it was rules, then Daddy had me rewrite them as a Code of Conduct in first person little speak (ex: "You are to submit to my choice of panties" became "Daddy holds all rights to dress me in the clothing he deems appropriate" & "No panties without Daddy's permission." And most recently, he had me rewrite everything as my rules to follow with an added section of what responsibilities Daddy has in caring for me. So it's more like a list of Stuff I do (or deny myself) to make Daddy happy, and the things Daddy does to make me happy.

[Guest Princessaj]

This is going so well. You girls are wonderful in your own way with your respective Daddies and your relationships.

 

Getting collared is a great place to draw from now that you mention the ceremony. I didn't think of it, because that is not a personal preference of mine, but that is why I have you all.

 

MissNMTX, I love lists. I will start one and place it here for everyone to contribute to after I take a closer look at getting collared. We are so amazing! "They" will be talking about us for years to come as next and new come into the DDlg Lifestyle.

 

Please keep it coming, the more brains, hearts, souls and voices the better.

 

Hey Daddy Dom's, where are you?

 

Thank you so very much.

[Guest MissNMTX]

Oh Princessaj, the lists already exist. Save your energy sweetheart and just google "BDSM Checklist". Never do work that's already been done!

[Guest Prat]

Oh Princessaj, the lists already exist. Save your energy sweetheart and just google "BDSM Checklist". Never do work that's already been done!

This

[Bobi]

Found over on FetLife:

ORIGINAL POSTER: RebelBaby23

I, __________, souly submit my mind, body and soul to my Daddy, Curtis Wayne , for his protection, love, nurturing and commitment. I give myself to Daddy to do as he wishes. I promise to always put Daddy before anyone else after my children. I hand over my name to my Babygirl name _____________.

I, ___________, souly commit to love, nurture, and protect my Babygirl, ______________. I promise to never take my title and position and use it in a destructive manner, always being mindful of her limitations, physically and emotionally. I promise to always put Babygirl before anyone else after my children. I also promise to spoil her on occasion and within my means.

Rules:
1. No Anal/play with anyone but Daddy/Babygirl

2. Titles will only be used with each other

3. Daddy/Babygirl are always first priority after their children

4. Babygirl will always wear her collar with pride, and it is not to be removed
by anyone but Daddy, except in the case of an emergency

5. Daddy/Babygirl rules are exclusive to one another

6. Babygirls safeword will never be ignored/misused.

7. Affection will never be withheld as a punishment

8. Babygirl will never submit to any other Daddy/Dom

9. Daddy will never claim another Babygirl

10. Daddy will never do anything to intentionally cause Babygirl to lose trust in him

11. Babygirl is always to ask permission to play with toys and to give Daddy details after she has played, to not hide any details, doing so will result in punishment.

12. Babygirl will always make sure she is taking care of herself so as to always be of service to Daddy

13. Babygirl will wear what Daddy orders her to wear

14. Daddy will always stand up for Babygirls honor

15. Daddy always promises to tend to Babygirls aftercare after a hard session

16. Babygirl will wear her bruises with pride!

17. Daddy will never humiliate Babygirl and Babygirl will never defy Daddy in public

18. Babygirl will keep herself and her environment clean

19. Daddy is required to show Babygirl how much she means to him everyday

20. Daddy will guide Babygirl to make the right decisions, while allowing her to still be her own person, and always giving his opinion on important issues when Babygirl asks for it

21. Daddy/Babygirl will keep themselves healthy and in shape for the benefit of both and children

22. Daddy will always keep in regular contact while Babygirl is away

23. Daddy is always in control

24. I love you’s will always be said before going to sleep for the night, whether together or apart

25. Babygirl will take her punishment and let Daddy know how bad it hurts

26. Babygirl will ask for her punishment when she knows she’s done wrong

27. Daddy will NOT ask permission to buy something that he wants

28. Babygirl will continue to provide Daddy services as long as he continues to appreciate it

29. Babygirl will wear a butt plug when in Daddys presence

30. Daddy will not punish Babygirl if she falls asleep during a movie

31. Babygirl will try her hardest not to fall asleep during movies

32. Babygirl will make a conscious effort to find a girl to play with

Services:
1. Babygirl will wash Daddy in the shower

2. Daddy will cook dinner for Babygirl once a month

3. Babygirl will have Daddys dinner waiting for him when he gets home

4. If Daddy is already home Babygirl will dish his plate and serve it to him

5. Babygirl will do Daddys laundry

6. Babygirl will work on Daddys back when it needs it

7. Babygirl will take care of Daddy when he’s sick

8. Babygirl will give Daddy sex anytime he wants

9. Babygirl will provide other services to make Daddy feel special that he may not have thought of

10. Daddy will shave Babygirl when he is available to do so

11. Babygirl will provide sex to Daddys friends when ordered too

12. Babygirl will shave Daddy when he is home

13. Babygirl will keep home clean as possible, unless physically unable too

14. Daddy will take over household chores when Babygirl is incapable of doing them herself

15. Daddy will be spontaneous and surprise Babygirl occasionally

16. Daddy will encourage Babygirl to feel good about herself by showing her she’s beautiful and encouraging her to dress sexy even when she doesn’t want too

17. Daddy will wash Babygirl in the shower

18. Daddy will paint Babygirls toenails

19. Daddy will take care of Babygirl when she is having a bad pain day or is sick

20. Babygirl will make sure bills are paid on time, and money put into savings

21. Daddy will take out the trash without being asked

22. Daddy will give Babygirl massages when she’s having a lot of pain

23. Babygirl will communicate with Daddy’s prospects for him while he’s at work

24. Babygirl will keep her hair long

25. Daddy will play with Babygirls hair, in return for her keeping it long

26. Babygirl will learn and remind Daddy of important dates

27. Babygirl will keep her skin and hair soft for Daddy

28. Babygirl will have her hair and makeup done for Daddy while out in public

29. Daddy will dance with Babygirl on occasion

30. Daddy will undress Babygirl before love making

31. Babygirl will encourage Daddy to stand up for himself and be selfish when its needed

32. Daddy will snuggle Babygirl when first laying down for the night and when she is cold

33. Babygirl will ALWAYS make sure Pops blanket is properly cared for

34. Daddy will take Babygirl on a date once a month

35. Daddy will watch chick flicks with Babygirl

36. Daddy will talk to Babygirl about things that are bothering him, instead of bottling them up

Punishments (sacred rules):
1. If Daddy does anal with anyone but Babygirl he will lose his rights to anal with Babygirl, and Babygirl will offer it freely to anyone she chooses for a period of one month the first time. If rule is broken again, it will no longer be a sacred rule.

2. If Babygirl does anal with anyone but Daddy, she will lose the right to play, and Daddy will do anal with anyone he chooses for one month. If rule is broken again, it will no longer be a sacred rule.

3. If Babygirl calls anyone else Daddy or Baby, Daddy will spank Babygirl until his hand hurts

4. If Daddy calls anyone else Baby or Babygirl, Babygirl will call Daddy only by his first name until she feels he has learned his lesson

5. If Daddy or Babygirl put anyone other than their children before the other without the others blessing they are not allowed to play for one month

6. If Babygirl removes her collar for anything other than an emergency she will have forced fisting

7. If Daddy uses one of our rules with another sub he will take a strap on analy without argument

8. If Daddy ignores Babygirls safeword, all hard/bondage play will be ceased for a period of 6 months and he will have to get on his knees and beg to have it back

9. If Babygirl submits to another Daddy/Dom Daddy will remove Babygirls collar and strip Babygirl of her title

10. If Daddy claims another Babygirl, Babygirl will revoke her submission permanently

11. If Daddy intentionally breaks Babygirls trust, he will be stripped of his title

Punishments (non-sacred rules):

1. If Babygirl does not ask permission to play, Daddy will get to spend two nights with one of his toys

2. If Babygirl does not provide safety details to Daddy before she plays, Babygirl is no longer allowed to contact that person, if the sex was good, and will be forced to have sex with that person again if the sex was bad, and will be grounded from playing with others for one month

3. If Daddy does not stand up for Babygirls honor, he will be stripped of his title and her submission revoked

4. If Daddy fails to provide proper aftercare after a hard session, there will be no hard sessions for a period of 3 months

5. If Daddy humiliates Babygirl in public, Babygirl gets to spend two nights with one of her toys

6. If Babygirl defies Daddy in public, Babygirl will be tortured with forced orgasm belt

7. If Babygirl fails to ask for punishment for breaking the rules and Daddy finds out, she will be forced to puke by gagging on top of what the original punishment would have been

General Punishments (for Babygirl):
1. Ruler on the back of the hand
2. Withholding orgasm
3. Forced anal
4. Nipple clamps
5. Clit smacking
6. Spankings
7. Whippings
8. Waiting for sex
9. Granny panties
10. No oral
11. Teasing with no penetration
12. Standing outside in the cold for 5 minutes
13. No computer for one day
14. No phone except for Daddy/children for one day

General Punishments (for Daddy):
1. No oral
2. No anal for one day
3. One week with no fan at night
4. Foot rubs for Babygirl for 3 days
5. Cock torture
6. Write me a 2 page letter of how you feel about me
7. No internet for a day
8. Spend an entire day with Red
9. Showering alone for 5 days
10. Grounded from your car for 2 days
11. Grounded from Lucas for 3 days, unless work related, then only work related discussion allowed
12. Cold shower
13. Tighty whities
14. Butt plug

I, Saoirse Dawn ****, profess my heart, my love, and my soul to my Daddy, Curtis Wayne **** for the rest of my days. I will remain faithful to Daddy in the context listed above. I will make him proud to call me his Babygirl. I will follow his rules to the best of my ability and take his punishments gracefully. I commit only to him. He is my owner, I am his property.

I, Curtis Wayne ****, profess my heart, my love, and my soul to my Babygirl, Saoirse Dawn **** for the rest of my days. I will remain trusted and forthright to my Babygirl. I will make her proud to be my Babygirl and call me her Daddy. I will follow her limitations and rules, and enforce the rules I set with a loving hand. I commit only to her as Daddy or otherwise.

Rules, services and punishments are subject to change depending on situation, excluding sacred rules. This contract will be revised periodically as needed, and as agreed upon by both Daddy and Babygirl. We both sign this contract, with mutual understanding and respect of the rules set forth. By signing this contract all legal advocate is null. This contract is a representation of our dynamic, and trust for each other. Also represents Babygirls consent, to punishments that may result in bruising, scratches or other marks on her body.

I, ______________________________ and ___________________________ do declare to be Daddy and Babygirl from this day forward ______________, ____________, 2013.

[Guest Princessaj]

Bobi, you are a ROCK STAR! Yeah! Throwing pink glitter in the air and jumping on the bed!

This helps everyone. Now I can talk this over with my imaginary Daddy and see what he says. Lol

 

Please keep adding to this thread, the more examples the better.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

after this  many years, we pretty much know each other inside and out. so, while we don't have a contract (er..besides the marriage one I suppose? lol) we also have extremely good communication. we can and often do talk openly about what we both want/need and anything we're uncomfortable with. we know each other's fantasies and desires and limits. and if they ever change, we can talk about that too.

[PapabearNYC]

Hi,  I'm new here.  I found this forum because I googled "Daddy Babygirl contracts".  Here is a link to one that I found.

 

https://www.daddybabygirl.com/contract.html

[Guest Mister Grey]

Found over on FetLife:

ORIGINAL POSTER: RebelBaby23

I, __________, souly submit my mind, body and soul to my Daddy, Curtis Wayne , for his protection, love, nurturing and commitment. I give myself to Daddy to do as he wishes. I promise to always put Daddy before anyone else after my children. I hand over my name to my Babygirl name _____________.

I, ___________, souly commit to love, nurture, and protect my Babygirl, ______________. I promise to never take my title and position and use it in a destructive manner, always being mindful of her limitations, physically and emotionally. I promise to always put Babygirl before anyone else after my children. I also promise to spoil her on occasion and within my means.

Rules:

1. No Anal/play with anyone but Daddy/Babygirl

2. Titles will only be used with each other

3. Daddy/Babygirl are always first priority after their children

4. Babygirl will always wear her collar with pride, and it is not to be removed

by anyone but Daddy, except in the case of an emergency

5. Daddy/Babygirl rules are exclusive to one another

6. Babygirls safeword will never be ignored/misused.

7. Affection will never be withheld as a punishment

8. Babygirl will never submit to any other Daddy/Dom

9. Daddy will never claim another Babygirl

10. Daddy will never do anything to intentionally cause Babygirl to lose trust in him

11. Babygirl is always to ask permission to play with toys and to give Daddy details after she has played, to not hide any details, doing so will result in punishment.

12. Babygirl will always make sure she is taking care of herself so as to always be of service to Daddy

13. Babygirl will wear what Daddy orders her to wear

14. Daddy will always stand up for Babygirls honor

15. Daddy always promises to tend to Babygirls aftercare after a hard session

16. Babygirl will wear her bruises with pride!

17. Daddy will never humiliate Babygirl and Babygirl will never defy Daddy in public

18. Babygirl will keep herself and her environment clean

19. Daddy is required to show Babygirl how much she means to him everyday

20. Daddy will guide Babygirl to make the right decisions, while allowing her to still be her own person, and always giving his opinion on important issues when Babygirl asks for it

21. Daddy/Babygirl will keep themselves healthy and in shape for the benefit of both and children

22. Daddy will always keep in regular contact while Babygirl is away

23. Daddy is always in control

24. I love you’s will always be said before going to sleep for the night, whether together or apart

25. Babygirl will take her punishment and let Daddy know how bad it hurts

26. Babygirl will ask for her punishment when she knows she’s done wrong

27. Daddy will NOT ask permission to buy something that he wants

28. Babygirl will continue to provide Daddy services as long as he continues to appreciate it

29. Babygirl will wear a butt plug when in Daddys presence

30. Daddy will not punish Babygirl if she falls asleep during a movie

31. Babygirl will try her hardest not to fall asleep during movies

32. Babygirl will make a conscious effort to find a girl to play with

Services:

1. Babygirl will wash Daddy in the shower

2. Daddy will cook dinner for Babygirl once a month

3. Babygirl will have Daddys dinner waiting for him when he gets home

4. If Daddy is already home Babygirl will dish his plate and serve it to him

5. Babygirl will do Daddys laundry

6. Babygirl will work on Daddys back when it needs it

7. Babygirl will take care of Daddy when he’s sick

8. Babygirl will give Daddy sex anytime he wants

9. Babygirl will provide other services to make Daddy feel special that he may not have thought of

10. Daddy will shave Babygirl when he is available to do so

11. Babygirl will provide sex to Daddys friends when ordered too

12. Babygirl will shave Daddy when he is home

13. Babygirl will keep home clean as possible, unless physically unable too

14. Daddy will take over household chores when Babygirl is incapable of doing them herself

15. Daddy will be spontaneous and surprise Babygirl occasionally

16. Daddy will encourage Babygirl to feel good about herself by showing her she’s beautiful and encouraging her to dress sexy even when she doesn’t want too

17. Daddy will wash Babygirl in the shower

18. Daddy will paint Babygirls toenails

19. Daddy will take care of Babygirl when she is having a bad pain day or is sick

20. Babygirl will make sure bills are paid on time, and money put into savings

21. Daddy will take out the trash without being asked

22. Daddy will give Babygirl massages when she’s having a lot of pain

23. Babygirl will communicate with Daddy’s prospects for him while he’s at work

24. Babygirl will keep her hair long

25. Daddy will play with Babygirls hair, in return for her keeping it long

26. Babygirl will learn and remind Daddy of important dates

27. Babygirl will keep her skin and hair soft for Daddy

28. Babygirl will have her hair and makeup done for Daddy while out in public

29. Daddy will dance with Babygirl on occasion

30. Daddy will undress Babygirl before love making

31. Babygirl will encourage Daddy to stand up for himself and be selfish when its needed

32. Daddy will snuggle Babygirl when first laying down for the night and when she is cold

33. Babygirl will ALWAYS make sure Pops blanket is properly cared for

34. Daddy will take Babygirl on a date once a month

35. Daddy will watch chick flicks with Babygirl

36. Daddy will talk to Babygirl about things that are bothering him, instead of bottling them up

Punishments (sacred rules):

1. If Daddy does anal with anyone but Babygirl he will lose his rights to anal with Babygirl, and Babygirl will offer it freely to anyone she chooses for a period of one month the first time. If rule is broken again, it will no longer be a sacred rule.

2. If Babygirl does anal with anyone but Daddy, she will lose the right to play, and Daddy will do anal with anyone he chooses for one month. If rule is broken again, it will no longer be a sacred rule.

3. If Babygirl calls anyone else Daddy or Baby, Daddy will spank Babygirl until his hand hurts

4. If Daddy calls anyone else Baby or Babygirl, Babygirl will call Daddy only by his first name until she feels he has learned his lesson

5. If Daddy or Babygirl put anyone other than their children before the other without the others blessing they are not allowed to play for one month

6. If Babygirl removes her collar for anything other than an emergency she will have forced fisting

7. If Daddy uses one of our rules with another sub he will take a strap on analy without argument

8. If Daddy ignores Babygirls safeword, all hard/bondage play will be ceased for a period of 6 months and he will have to get on his knees and beg to have it back

9. If Babygirl submits to another Daddy/Dom Daddy will remove Babygirls collar and strip Babygirl of her title

10. If Daddy claims another Babygirl, Babygirl will revoke her submission permanently

11. If Daddy intentionally breaks Babygirls trust, he will be stripped of his title

Punishments (non-sacred rules):

1. If Babygirl does not ask permission to play, Daddy will get to spend two nights with one of his toys

2. If Babygirl does not provide safety details to Daddy before she plays, Babygirl is no longer allowed to contact that person, if the sex was good, and will be forced to have sex with that person again if the sex was bad, and will be grounded from playing with others for one month

3. If Daddy does not stand up for Babygirls honor, he will be stripped of his title and her submission revoked

4. If Daddy fails to provide proper aftercare after a hard session, there will be no hard sessions for a period of 3 months

5. If Daddy humiliates Babygirl in public, Babygirl gets to spend two nights with one of her toys

6. If Babygirl defies Daddy in public, Babygirl will be tortured with forced orgasm belt

7. If Babygirl fails to ask for punishment for breaking the rules and Daddy finds out, she will be forced to puke by gagging on top of what the original punishment would have been

General Punishments (for Babygirl):

1. Ruler on the back of the hand

2. Withholding orgasm

3. Forced anal

4. Nipple clamps

5. Clit smacking

6. Spankings

7. Whippings

8. Waiting for sex

9. Granny panties

10. No oral

11. Teasing with no penetration

12. Standing outside in the cold for 5 minutes

13. No computer for one day

14. No phone except for Daddy/children for one day

General Punishments (for Daddy):

1. No oral

2. No anal for one day

3. One week with no fan at night

4. Foot rubs for Babygirl for 3 days

5. Cock torture

6. Write me a 2 page letter of how you feel about me

7. No internet for a day

8. Spend an entire day with Red

9. Showering alone for 5 days

10. Grounded from your car for 2 days

11. Grounded from Lucas for 3 days, unless work related, then only work related discussion allowed

12. Cold shower

13. Tighty whities

14. Butt plug

I, Saoirse Dawn ****, profess my heart, my love, and my soul to my Daddy, Curtis Wayne **** for the rest of my days. I will remain faithful to Daddy in the context listed above. I will make him proud to call me his Babygirl. I will follow his rules to the best of my ability and take his punishments gracefully. I commit only to him. He is my owner, I am his property.

I, Curtis Wayne ****, profess my heart, my love, and my soul to my Babygirl, Saoirse Dawn **** for the rest of my days. I will remain trusted and forthright to my Babygirl. I will make her proud to be my Babygirl and call me her Daddy. I will follow her limitations and rules, and enforce the rules I set with a loving hand. I commit only to her as Daddy or otherwise.

Rules, services and punishments are subject to change depending on situation, excluding sacred rules. This contract will be revised periodically as needed, and as agreed upon by both Daddy and Babygirl. We both sign this contract, with mutual understanding and respect of the rules set forth. By signing this contract all legal advocate is null. This contract is a representation of our dynamic, and trust for each other. Also represents Babygirls consent, to punishments that may result in bruising, scratches or other marks on her body.

I, ______________________________ and ___________________________ do declare to be Daddy and Babygirl from this day forward ______________, ____________, 2013.

 

Although as a learning tool this may be useful, this contact IMO is a lot more of a Dom/sub contract and even as such, very specific to the couple whom its written for.

 

Still there are a lot of really good points in there

 

thanks for sharing

[XmochiX]

You can have rules without having a contract. Not every couple has one, and I don't think those who do have one follow a specific layout. I expect it is unique to their own needs like the one posted above from FL.

[PapabearNYC]

You can have rules without having a contract. Not every couple has one, and I don't think those who do have one follow a specific layout. I expect it is unique to their own needs like the one posted above from FL.

 

Yes, you can have rules without a contract.  I think most people starting out do just that.  But if you are in a relationship I think it definitely would behoove you to put something in writing.  The process of creating such a document will help keep things clear and also be a reminder that there need to be rules for the Daddy or Mommy too.  

 

Plus, it's an excellent exercise in communication.  

[Guest Arc]

Who the hell told you it's vital to have a contract? Because stop listening to them immediately lol. There is no right or wrong way to do things. 

 

If you want one, that's great. And if you don't, that's great too. Relationships are whatever you make of them. Nothing is vital unless you make it so. 

 

I don't have a contract. Never have, never will. I personally do not see the point. I would rather just have a adult conversation about what we both want and need from a relationship. Plus... people change all the time. Relationships evolve. Putting something in writing and having it change six months later doesn't seem like a good idea to me. I would rather just keep continuous communication and allow things to grow and evolve naturally.