Reassurance Needed: Daddy wants to be boyfriend

[phoenixpixie]

I'm a long time lurker, first time poster in need of some insight from other people in a ddlg relationship.

 

I've been in a LDR with my Daddy for about a year now. He's the first person I've been in a BDSM/DDlg relationship with and it was the dynamic that brought us together. In the beginning of our relationship, we talked about the different kinds of dynamics and he was clear that he wouldn't be happy just being a boyfriend, that he wanted to be my Dom, my Daddy and craved that power exchange. I think he's the best DaddyDom in the whole world and I love him with my whole heart.

 

But today when I greeted him with the usual "Good Morning Daddy" message, he asked me to call him other terms of endearment for now and said that he just wanted to be my bf for a while and not "roleplay" so much, just focus on us. He told me this just before leaving on a 2 day camping trip away from cell towers so there wasn't much time to discuss it and now it's kind of eating at me.

 

I have an anxiety disorder/gremlin and now it's trying to make me feel like he doesn't want me anymore.  I don't really believe that, though, because he once said that he would give up BDSM for me (this was a couple months into our relationship when I had reservations about something, I forget what it was) and just two nights ago we were talking about his plan to come visit me. 

 

I just feel kind of confused because I always thought of him as my boyfriend, my Daddy/caregiver/protector, my Dom all at the same time and I never thought of us as roleplaying. He's always been Daddy to me (well, since I felt comfortable calling him that and before that I don't think I called him anything at all) and by asking me to call him something else, it feels like taking a step back. Like someone you think of as your best friend calling you their friend.

 

Has anybody else gone through this before? Going from a DDlg dynamic to a boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic? 

Does it sound like a warning bell that the relationship is fizzling or is it really just a new way to grow our relationship (no matter what dynamic it manifests in) like he said it is?

 

Any feedback would be appreciated.

[IchigoHime]

I'm not sure if this is similar, but I asked Daddy to not always call me a good girl cause I don't want it to lose its kind of "special-ness". I can't be sure what he is thinking, but it could just be that? As for the "less role play" request, if its not roleplay to you, then you may want to tell him that. But if you don't always feel like you're in little space, maybe you should just emphasize on the other stuff. I'm not always acting like a little with Daddy, but that doesn't mean I'm not being true to our relationship.

 

I apologize if I didn't make any sense, it made sense in my head. And best of luck. Don't tear yourself down too much while he is gone. You may be getting worked up for nothing.

[TheGambler]

Looks like he see the DDlg dynamic as a game/fetish. This isn't strange as a lot of people enjoy the BDSM at the bed but dislike power exchange at the relationships, 

 

I can be wrong, of course, but this change can be a way of evolving to him. A way to say that he wants your relationship to do a step forward, which is good. I suggest that you tell him that being a Daddy for you is very serious and mature.

[Guest Don Pablo]

it could be anything, only he knows what exactly he meant and if he wants to change the dynamic of your relationship. talk it out with him and ask him to be fully honest. 

[HeCallsMePrincess]

there's nothing wrong with focusing on your relationship outside of ddlg. it's important to get to know each other as adults as well. he needs to know you as an adult and you need to get to know him outside of little space. wait a couple of days and give him a call.

[Naughty Daddy]

Def agree with Don. You have to communicate with him. Find out what's behind his request. And voice your concerns.

 

As for me, my little girl is also my gf and we live together. Unlike when I had a long distance/online little we are around eachother pretty much non stop and my babygirl goes in and out of little space pretty on a daily basis. Which puts me in and out of Daddy space along with her. Being a Daddy to my little girl can take up a large amount of time and emotional investment and even though I love it after some time it can get taxing, and this Daddy need a break or to be taken care of too. Just like if you were a parent with a child. Sometimes you need a little break To just re charge. And for me I also need periodic breaks to reconnect with my gf as a man and woman in an equal partnership. Because at the end of the day there's the real world we all have to live in. And we all need a partner who can help with all the grownup responsibilities. Daddy's have needs that should be met too and my babygirl understands and is supportive when I ask for a break. They aren't very long

 

Every relationship is different and every Daddy is different. Perhaps yours just needs to recharge and to focus on you and him as partners beyond CG/l. Hoping for the best! Let us know how it pans out!

[phoenixpixie]

Thank you all for your replies!

 

I'm feeling much more at ease now and think our relationship is just growing in a new way. I still have to have an actual conversation with him, of course, when he returns.

 

But in the meantime, he has (unknowingly) assuaged my fears... I sent him a thoughtcatalog article titled "Liveblog: My Boyfriend is staying at a camp with a gruesome history and his texts are freaking me out" because it made me think of him. Now whenever he manages to get cell service he keeps sending me messages about his friends being picked off one by one and being chased and surrounded by something.

 

Yeah, I know he loves me.

[WarDaddy]

I agree with the rest, it's important to you two get together and talk. Don't leave anything under the carpet, no matter how awkward or embarrassing it might be. Talk with him about the way your relationship is going. As long as you two love each other and enjoy your relationship, it doesn't matter if he wants you to call him 'Daddy' or "Swamp monster":)

 

Jokes aside, don't burden yourself with bad thoughts and everything will be OK.