I Kind of Want a Caregiver....??

[honeyraindrop]

I'm a very independent person who doesn't open up easily but I also feel like I want to be taken care of and loved by someone. While I'm okay with being alone, and I love being a little who takes care of themselves, sometimes I just wish I had that special person to take care of me. It is difficult to be an alone little sometimes, but I'm also afraid of getting hurt. So...I want a caregiver/bf/gf....but my tough side always kicks in and tells me I'm better off alone for now.

 

Do any other single littles feel this way? Do you both wish you had a caregiver but also like being alone? I feel kind of torn and lonely, and I am just looking for a bit of support. Thanks in advanced.

[LoralieHaze]

I really admire the fact that you love taking care of yourself as a little. There should be so much more of this in the community and hopefully others will see this post and know that is it possible.

 

It is also possible to be in a CG/L relationship while still remaining self-sufficient. It really depends on finding the right person who wants the same thing in/from a relationship as you do and will allow you to have your space. Your independence will actually make you better equipped for the process of finding a partner because you already know that you don't need one to be little and you won't feel pressured to find someone immediately solely for the sake of your littleness.

 

I completely understand what it's like to have a tough side that likes being alone but then to also have a softer side that wants to be taken care of. Your fear of being hurt is entirely valid, though it should make you cautious, not lonely. Finding the right person is worth putting yourself out there for, and when you find them, you will naturally want to open up more.

 

One thing that I want to point out, is that if you want a caregiver, you have to be completely sure about it. Say for example if you were to start talking to someone, then they became interested in you, then wanted to be in a relationship with you. It wouldn't be fair to them for you to say yes if you don't know if that's actually what you want or if you just like the idea. You know what I mean? You don't want someone to fall in love with you and then decide that you'd rather be single. 

 

My advice is to take as long as you need to figure this out. Also, don't let anyone tell you that being independent is a bad thing or that's it's contrary to being a submissive.

[Guest Princessaj]

This is a brilliant question! You are at one of the momentous points in your life, be it Vanilla and DDlg.

 

Your question addresses 2 of the most amazing areas of your infinite personal development.

 

1. Having a caregiver requires an extraordinary amount of trust. Trust in yourself to know who to choose

and how to choose them. That self discovery is an adventure before the DDlg journey embarks. In my

own undertaking of this task, I have so enjoyed such discovery in ongoing research of the DDlg Lifestyle.

and self introspection. Please study all that you can, consume great quantity of DDlg reference, access

the valuable stories of your peers here and answer every possible question you have about the Lifestyle.

My suggestion is quite finite, not filled with busy work, but rich in consuming the anxiety and stress of

the question. I say all this as I am taking my own advice and finding it quite fulfilling. You will know when

you are ready when you no longer have the pressing weight of the question and are entertaining the

choosing with little like giddiness. You can then step into the formal process of choosing a caregiver with

a clear head and a steady heart.

 

2.  May I ask your definition of being alone? Perhaps, at this point in your life it is defined as,

apart from others, solitary, on your own, in your own company, private time, refuge....

 

Many years on, as I am, I have seen myself go through so many cycles of choice. I chose to be in

close company with people in my life for a "season." Others, for so many diverse reasons. I have

friends in my life from every stage of change. Then there were periods of time when I wanted nothing

to do with anyone. Those that have unconditional love for me have lasted throughout, no matter what.

When I had stage 4 cancer, people came from every corner of my universe and every timeline there

ever has been in my life. Talk about wanting to be alone, even for a minute, was forbidden. Oh, well.

 

You will always have the choice to be alone as long as you communicate your preference and secure

your boundaries. That goes in the Vanilla world and in DDlg. When you have a caregiver, you get to

choose everything. Having the the desire to be alone will be no different.

 

Then again, I have often heard it said of couples that have found their "One," that no matter where they are, they

feel the grace of their respective partner's presence in their being even at times of being alone. For me, Hell yes,

bring it on I am ready!

 

Thanks for reading, I wish you ever the best. Don't forget to have fun!

[honeyraindrop]

Thank you both so much for your kind words! It makes me feel a bit better about being a single little right now. I guess I'm unsure about dating at the moment, but I do know that if the right person came along, I wouldn't be hesitant. When I love, I love fully (and I'm clingy), so I worry that that will deter a possible caregiver. But if I were to find someone who would be okay with my clingy side AND my independent side, then I would be set (and really lucky)!

[oklahomaloving88]

 

I am a daddy from Bartlesville Oklahoma looking for a little someone I can care for and love and spoil and spend the rest of my life with it was in this for the Long Haul. I have a big heart and i love caring and helping and feeling need like the truat i have I want someone to trust me like that to. I hope to hear from you God Bless You And have a Blessed Day