ddlg destructive potental

[Mr. Walden]

Hello Friends!

 

First off, this forum thread may contain dialog that could be potentially upsetting, ie: hurt feelings.  Please understand that the puropose of this thread to for adults to discuss the potential negative consequences of involvement in a ddlg dynamic.  All i ask is that our friends here step out of their "little" or "daddy" personas and have a good, healthy adult dialog.  Seeing as how this community is restricted to 18+, this shouldnt be an issue.

 

So, earlier today I was on our chat board and an interesting subject was being discussed that I felt prudent to base a thread around.  In my time in this community I have noticed a disturbing trend.  It could be nothing at all, or it could be everything... I'll leave the distinction up to you.  I am a little more than slightly worried about the effects of a DDLG relationship that has on younger, or more emotionally undeveloped, littles.  I'll explain further:

 

I fear that the DDLG concept may set back, delay or devolve emotional, psychological and personal developement in some littles.  I am a firm believer in mastering all your affairs, to be independant, to be a pilot of your own destiny.  I also believe that DDLG, without a healthy mastery of "adult affairs", can regress development into becoming an independent person.  Arrested development, if you will.  I fear that intelectually dishonest emotional validation can creep into a little's life and significantly prevent them from growing up, ie: becoming a productive, independant adult.  Without independence, a little is prone to a life of handouts, abusive relationships, and general helplessness.

 

I also fear that DDLG can be used by ill-meaning "littles" as a way to never have to be responsible for their own well being.  Let me explain... Manipulation is taught to young girls at an extremely inappropriate age.  Just look at all the preteen magazines at the grocery store.. every last one is teaching girls how to make themselvs attractive to boys.  Hair, make-up trends, mastering flirty behaivor  ect.  Prime example that "girly" magazines that have a cover article on "How to Drive Your Man Wild!" or "Become irisistable to get what you want!".  This type of mentality I'm afraid is creating a sub-culture of manipulation.  I find it only natural that this mentality can be used by people.  When that type of manipulation-mastered female discovers the DDLG community, it can appear like a match made in heaven (or hell).

 

I personally believe the DDLG community has the ability to be nurturing, supportive and welcoming.  With that being said, for littles I believe it is extrodinarily important to become an independant, productive, healthy and secure first and foremost.  Being in a DDLG relationship can be fufilling for healthy and responsible adults.  If a little cannot take care of herself, or outright refuses to be responsible in "adult" life, using a "Daddy" as a caretaker and nothing more is outright manipulation of the daddy, and handicaps a little emotional, mental and financial independence. 

 

In a nutshell, a little should never have to "need" a daddy.  A little should only "want" a daddy.  The potential for a little to get trapped in a cycle of helplessness and inability to "grow up" in adult life is, in my humble opinion, extraordinarily high.  A healthy balance of both lives need to exist, or victimhood from potential daddies/manipulation of daddies is quite possible.  It most definetly swings both ways.

 

Thoughts, friends?

 

WF

 

 

 

 

[Spooky]

You have some excellent points and I agree with you whole-heatedly!!!

 

The issue is beyond "DDLG"

People are going to be rotten regardless of that label is on the relationship. All you can do is take your time when you meet someone. Make sure that they are there for you and your personal growth!

 

I may also add that the "female manipulation" you are speaking of, as far as in magazines. I would not consider that not so much manipulation but young women being taught to sacrifice their happiness & personality to become a woman that men want.

 

I really hope some people read this and consider what you said!!!!

[WitchPrincess]

I agree with you that in certain cases the role play has a direct effect on a person. Some actualy regress to what child experts call "the selfish age", in other words, they go into the mind set of a child under 9 years of age, where in they are unnable to recongnise anything other than what they want and need which can be unhealthy for any person, not to mention the relationship.

 

Here I'd like to to just add that yes even though a sub is technically under the dom's "control", a sub CAN be abusive, not always psysically but emotionally or mentally.

 

Sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar. English is not my first language.

[Little Illy]

You honestly could not be more right.

 

Speaking from a professional psychology stand point - what you are mentioning has actually already been researched and found to be very destructive. I will explain in examples.

 

Years ago when a woman went from her father's home to her husband's home, she was never taught to be on her own. Sure she knew how to cook and clean and take care of the children. But because of the era, if her husband died then she would be is a very precarious situation. Those women did not have the real-world skills to survive financially nor professionally because of the lack of exposure. Thankfully, because of the time, those cases were typically taken back in to their father's home, but the issue is still the same.

 

The same can be seen in the extremely wealthy. Think of Paris Hilton - she has never had to truly work a day in her life. And I mean a 9-5 without the glamorous parties. If she lost her wealth and fortune and connections, she would most likely never survive. Why? Because she was never forced to become independent from the incomprehensible amount of wealth her family has.

 

All of this can be seen in Littles who "need" a daddy. As you so eloquently put - if a girl jumps from CG to Cg without growing, she will not be able to become a fully functional adult. And I mean this as nicely as I can. But, like you, I have already seen elements of this in chat. So many Littles say "I can't sleep without someone" or "I can't stand being alone" and so on. And these Littles are the young ones. I don't mean to sound rude, but if you are in your twenties or younger, you shouldn't worry about crippling loneliness (YES!! Of course there are SOME reasons to legit feel this way - but they are NOT COMMON). At this age you should be focused on leaning about yourself and the world around you. If you are focused solely on the hunt for a CG, than you are crippling yourself on the most important aspect of your current age. Growth.

 

I will be honest. I have known I am a little since I was 20 (I am now 24). When I found this out about myself, instead of throwing myself in the personals, I threw myself in research. I researched all about the CGlg all the while going to college, working my job, growing as a person all around. I feel now, at 24, I am at a point in my life that I can openly be ready for a DDlg relationship if the potential presents itself. I do not *need* it from a survivable stand point. I can care for my own. And I think that is where Littles need to be before they start this dynamic.

 

Most - yes, I recognize not all - Littles at 18-22 are just coming out from the rule of their parents. Their original care givers. They don't know nothing of the real world as an independent. And so I agree with you that by hopping over to another CG in this lifestyle can be quite detrimental. Because, they are in the same situation as they were with their parents. They care being cared for instead of learning to care for themselves.

 

But then again... That is all just my on thoughts.

And please excuse my typos, I'm on my phone

[Mrbeardman]

I agree on some parts, but in the most stable and healthy ddlg relationships i've seen there has always been a factor of the Dom helping the Sub improve and get control of their lives and vis versa . 

 

regardless of weather a relationship falls into the bdsm world or stays in the vanilla there will always be a risk of one party using the other to either get what they want or have the things they don't want to deal with taken care of.  thats why you shoulnd't just jump into a relationship and need to get to know someone before you invite them into your life.  

[Princess-P]

I agree with this so much. While this sort of arrested development happens in all sorts of relationships CG/l can often be used as a scapegoat.

 

I see way too many littles (male and female) jumping in and going straight for any caregiver who will be responsible for them. Too many who are way to young, way too immature, and way too Dependant, and using being 18 and legal or being a little for a reason they can't do X,Y, and Z things for themselves.

 

I honestly think that until you know how to be a fully functioning independent adult you should not be seeking a long term committed relationship. Power exchanges of any kind shouldn't happen until you know what kind if power you are letting someone have.

 

Can you cook for yourself? Pay your own bills? Work like a dog to get what you need/want on your own? If you answer no to any of these (and many MANY more things all healthy adults should be able to do) then you shouldn't be expecting others to do those things for you. Is it nice when someone does? Sure. But you shouldn't NEED them too.

 

And it works both ways. Many littles can do these things. Yet they expect the big to do them for the sole reason of "being g too little". Guiltimg someone into providing for you because that's what they are "supposed to do" is wrong. Manipulating them into it because you will sook or act like a brat or deny them your attention because they have not met your demands and unrealistic expectations is abuse.

 

Unfortunately this is a time of instant gratification. Children (and yes that does include the legal adult 18 year olds) think that things are always going to be easy because for most if their life they have been. And if its too hard? Fuck it something else or someone else is just around the corner. They don't mature because they don't HAVE to. And because its so easy not to they have no desire to.

 

This is why we see so many posts on "daddy isn't paying attention to me" well Daddy is working his full time job... What are you doing? "My Daddy/mommy ghosted on me" ya because its easy and someone offered them more, they will ghost on that person in a few days too. "I'm heart broken after 2 weeks of talking to someone" 2 weeks? 2? What even is that?

 

There's so much maturing that needs to be done and unfortunately people are maturing much later in life now. Yet expecting all the same things that hard working adults have, just with little to no work. No one WANTS to grow up but we all have to. Having someone take over all the adult responsibility because you don't feel like it and using this dynamic as an excuse not to is going to make that person very unhealthy. And any relationship they are in will subsequently be toxic.

[Trash Queen]

Yeah. Sometimes all I can see are the early workings of codependency. It gets a bit unnerving to see some questionable behavior of those around here. But heaven forbid you say anything.

 

All we can do is make sure the resources are available that point out warnings signs of an abusive relationship. Then hope people can recognize them in their own lives. I just ask everyone looks into what they're doing and take time to know who they're talking with.

 

An insane amount of people talk to someone from here or elsewhere and are squeeing about their daddy/little after a few days. DANGER

[AngeI]

 

An insane amount of people talk to someone from here or elsewhere and are squeeing about their daddy/little after a few days. DANGER

This thing freaks me out the most. It's just kind of desperate and not healthy in the long run. 

[littlelili]

...

I fear that the DDLG concept may set back, delay or devolve emotional, psychological

I personally believe the DDLG community has the ability to be nurturing, supportive and welcoming. With that being said, for littles I believe it is extrodinarily important to become an independant, productive, healthy and secure first and foremost. Being in a DDLG relationship can be fufilling for healthy and responsible adults. If a little cannot take care of herself, or outright refuses to be responsible in "adult" life, using a "Daddy" as a caretaker and nothing more is outright manipulation of the daddy, and handicaps a little emotional, mental and financial independence.

...

 

WF

Extraordinary approach!! *stands up and claps*

I couldn't agree more, being little is not an excuse to escape or to refuse responsibilities. We littles need to be good, humble, helpful and responsible. We need to be prepared for our daddies and be a support for them, not an added weight to their CG life. Refusing responsibilities or being unable to accept critic and teachings is just a way to manipulate. Make them feeling bad for treating us like we should be treated.

 

Once again thanks for this excellent post.

[LittleAki]

I have to agree with this. Yes I'm a Little, but that shouldn't and doesn't stop my growth as a person. If my Daddy was to walk away, (or in my individual case, deploy overseas), I have to be able to step up and run the house with two kids and still manage my own business.

 

Just because I have a Daddy, it doesn't mean I "need" a Daddy. I am an independent woman first, Little second. I have to applaud my Daddy, because he is always pushing me...always making sure I could survive if he wasn't around.

 

I worry about the younger Littles, jumping from relationship to relationship...it's like no one ever stopped them and told them they won't find the love they are chasing until they finally decide they need to love themselves first.

[Trash Queen]

I worry about the younger Littles, jumping from relationship to relationship...it's like no one ever stopped them and told them they won't find the love they are chasing until they finally decide they need to love themselves first.

 

 

Basically. Some of these people are so thirsty it worries me. I get being alone and wanting to be with someone, hell I'm there. But these kids rushing into an extremely intimate and delicate relationship dynamic are just asking to have it backfire. I'm not saying anyone deserves to be hurt or end up in a toxic relationship, but that's where a lot of people are heading without being careful.

[LoralieHaze]

I have seen a both littles and caregivers use CG/L as an excuse to be a shitty person. In my opinion, that's their own issue and they would be shitty people regardless of being involved in this dynamic. If there is something we could do to prevent that, I would, but I don't think there is. 

 

From my feminist prospective, I have to very strongly disagree on the whole "girls are taught to be manipulative" thing. Tween magazines tell girls to make themselves attractive to boys not to manipulate or "trap" them as you seem to be implying, but as a way to make the girls into consumers. The sooner you tell a girl that she must look a certain way, the more money can be made by the beauty industry as she grows up into a teen and then an adult. Also, the "drive your man wild" stuff is about preying on women's insecurities that what they're doing in the bedroom isn't good enough. It all boils down to keeping women weak, in service of patriarchy, but I don't think anyone in this thread wants to read about that.

 

I agree on some parts, but in the most stable and healthy ddlg relationships i've seen there has always been a factor of the Dom helping the Sub improve and get control of their lives and vis versa . 

 

This so much. I already lack a "mastery of adult affairs" because of lifelong mental illness, namely depression and generalized anxiety disorder. A huge reason why I'm interested in DDlg is because I want someone who will provide structure in my life and help encourage me to accomplish things that I wouldn't normally do just for my own sake (like get my GED, for example). In a healthy and well-functioning CG/L relationship, the caregiver is supposed to help the little grow into a better person. Furthermore, it is the little's responsibility to be willing to grow.

 

I agree that younger littles don't know what they're getting themselves into and most have a ton of maturing to do before getting involved in this community. Same goes for caregivers, since this is yet another case where the blame for something bad is being placed onto only one role and gender. 

 

While I know that manipulative littles do exist, and I've some them on here, there many more manipulative caregivers, and I've seen them all over any website where talk of CG/L is present. Both sides of the equation need to be better prepared for the possibility of manipulation and learn how to not be doormats.

 

Lastly, I agree that no one should "need" a significant other, just like I said in this post, "no one needs a daddy, just as no one needs a little. Being in a DDlg relationship is neither an inherent right nor a requirement for living."

[Mr. Walden]

There is so much wisdom from our community in this thread. I am humbled my little topic is injecting some intellectual honesty in our forums.

 

Hopefully, a wayward little can get some insight reading everyones posts here. Certainly couldn't hurt.

 

WF

[Guest MissNMTX]

There is so much to agree with here.

 

The "need" for another person...I love this distinction should not exist in any relationship and in this dynamic can be particularly destructive.  IN order to give to another person you have to be a whole person. Love yourself before you can love another.

 

Personally, I discovered none of this until I was much older,( I think I'm probably the 3rd or 4th oldest "little" here.) but in the time I have been here there have been so many young women I just wanted to hug and tell them they had so much more time and so many life experiences ahead of them.

[Antoinette]

Just to make this perfectly clear right off the bat: the desire to be pretty in females in not a societal pressure, it's a biological one which is there for means of finding a mate to reproduce with. With this being said, I do not think it's okay for preteen magazines to advertise how to make preteens irresistible and whatever else. 

 

Women can be housewives if they so choose, which would make them financially dependent on their partner. If both are okay with this that is not an issue whatsoever, 'independence' in the ways you show are not necessary for every person and it's not fair to enforce your idea of how people should live their lives and relationships and make it seem as though that's the 'healthy way'. Productivity isn't black and white, and I apologise if this isn't what you're trying to convey, it's just the vibe I got from it.

 

I do agree that a lot of littles leach happiness from their daddys and do so in an unhealthy manner. It is common sense that before starting a relationship both parties should be mentally at ease (as best as they can be) and getting into the relationship because they like each other, they should still be their own person and do their own things but a relationship shouldn't determine their life or happiness. 

 

So while I agree basically with you're point I do think that women in general should be allowed to make themselves dependent on their significant other if they so choose, but I also think if the relationship were to not work out they should have options readily available for themselves. 

 

 

 

In a nutshell, a little should never have to "need" a daddy.  A little should only "want" a daddy.  The potential for a little to get trapped in a cycle of helplessness and inability to "grow up" in adult life is, in my humble opinion, extraordinarily high.  A healthy balance of both lives need to exist, or victimhood from potential daddies/manipulation of daddies is quite possible.  It most definetly swings both ways.

 

This point is amazing though and I wholeheartedly agree with this. 

 

EDIT: While this seems like I disagree with a lot of your point I really don't. This topic is so necessary and I'm extremely glad you brought it up, I just thought I'd add my own two cents. 

Edited September 5, 2016 by xAntoinette

[Mr. Walden]

a lightning bolt of an idea popped into my head, and i have to write it down before i forget...

 

(again, this is not a "safe space", so wounded special snowflakes stop reading please...)

 

Rape.  Everyone agrees it is abysmal, wrong, inhumane and inexcuseable.  No if's, ands, or buts.  Everyone blames the rapeist, and rightfully so.  However, there is a segment of society that somehow thinks guiding the victim to smarter decisions (ie, not getting black out drunk around the lacrosse team), equates to blame.  Encouraging disadvantaged people to make smart decisions somehow means victim blaming.  The disadvantaged learning to become independant is the most empowering thing they can do... IE: refuse to become a victim, be a slave to no one.

 

Take a little, who for all intents and purposes can live independently.  Engaged in this lifestyle, she chooses to give her independence in exchange for a daddy.  Things are well, until they are not.  Daddy is abusive.  Robs her savings.  Physically hurts her.  Guess what?  She leaves.  She knows how to live life without a daddy, because she knows she can survive without one.  She is not "realistically" in servitude to the abusing daddy's support.

 

Give a man a fish, he eats today.  And you can abuse him, because he still needs a freaking fish.

Teach a man to fish, he eats today.  Can't abuse him, cause he can catch his own damn fish now.

 

Clear as mud, I know.  I apologise, I am well past my bedtime and tired. 

[Trash Queen]

 

(again, this is not a "safe space", so wounded special snowflakes stop reading please...)

 

 

Woah, buddy. I'll have you know it's everyone else's job to make sure my feelings don't get hurt or I don't get upset.

 

 

Seriously. Saving this for later.

[Doll Babe]

 

 

 

I have seen a both littles and caregivers use CG/L as an excuse to be a shitty person. In my opinion, that's their own issue and they would be shitty people regardless of being involved in this dynamic. If there is something we could do to prevent that, I would, but I don't think there is. 

 

From my feminist prospective, I have to very strongly disagree on the whole "girls are taught to be manipulative" thing. Tween magazines tell girls to make themselves attractive to boys not to manipulate or "trap" them as you seem to be implying, but as a way to make the girls into consumers. The sooner you tell a girl that she must look a certain way, the more money can be made by the beauty industry as she grows up into a teen and then an adult. Also, the "drive your man wild" stuff is about preying on women's insecurities that what they're doing in the bedroom isn't good enough. It all boils down to keeping women weak, in service of patriarchy, but I don't think anyone in this thread wants to read about that.

 

 

This so much. I already lack a "mastery of adult affairs" because of lifelong mental illness, namely depression and generalized anxiety disorder. A huge reason why I'm interested in DDlg is because I want someone who will provide structure in my life and help encourage me to accomplish things that I wouldn't normally do just for my own sake (like get my GED, for example). In a healthy and well-functioning CG/L relationship, the caregiver is supposed to help the little grow into a better person. Furthermore, it is the little's responsibility to be willing to grow.

 

I agree that younger littles don't know what they're getting themselves into and most have a ton of maturing to do before getting involved in this community. Same goes for caregivers, since this is yet another case where the blame for something bad is being placed onto only one role and gender. 

 

While I know that manipulative littles do exist, and I've some them on here, there many more manipulative caregivers, and I've seen them all over any website where talk of CG/L is present. Both sides of the equation need to be better prepared for the possibility of manipulation and learn how to not be doormats.

 

Lastly, I agree that no one should "need" a significant other, just like I said in this post, "no one needs a daddy, just as no one needs a little. Being in a DDlg relationship is neither an inherent right nor a requirement for living."

 

Yes to all of this! 

[TheProfessor]

I'd also like to hear anyone's opinion/experience with Littles of a less-developed sort and predatory Daddies/CGs who take advantage of them.

 

Since joining this community I'm also alarmed at the the number of (apparently) undeveloped or seriously regressive Littles that my actual paternal instincts kick in. It would seem that this particular type of person is easy prey.

 

Now I'm not abdicating them of the responsibility they need to take for themselves, but in the meantime they should understand about/be protected from/alerted to/educated about the type of Daddy/CG who will only be harmful or abusive to them, and what to watch for early on.

 

(Yeah, my phone'so not being cooperative in the spelling area, either)

Edited September 5, 2016 by TheProfessor

[DollDirector]

I completely agree with the trend of the topic that littles should be given all resources to beware of abusers.

 

However although I can't build a proper post like I usually try to,I want to say I feel imbalances :

It is as if there was no dark side whatsoever to female nature. Some posts would possibly even question the fact that there is such a thing as nature,I guess.

It is as if being immature was a problem among littles only. What about daddies who need a little ? The risk they are at,is indeed mentioned in this thread,but only as if it was solely a consequence of little behavior. 

[Princess-P]

While I agree that there is absolutely room for discussion about manipulative CG's and immature ones as well... I think the point of this particular thread was about the undeniable risk of "littles" failing to develop as healthy adults.

 

"The DDLG concept may set back, delay or devolve emotional, psychological and personal developement in some littles" -OP

 

And yes, of course there are mental or physical reasons that some adults can not do certain things but as a healthy person there is no reason not to develop normally.

 

Sorry but I can't figure how to quote part of someone's post.

 

"Women can be housewives if they so choose, which would make them financially dependent on their partner. If both are okay with this that is not an issue whatsoever, 'independence' in the ways you show are not necessary for every person and it's not fair to enforce your idea of how people should live their lives and relationships and make it seem as though that's the 'healthy way'. Productivity isn't black and white, and I apologise if this isn't what you're trying to convey, it's just the vibe I got from it." -xAntoinette

 

I absolutely support a persons choice to be a housewife. Hell I tried it for a minute myself after having a baby before I got bored to death lol. How you chose to live your lifestyle is completely up to those involved in that relationship. However the problem is not in each individual relationship but rather in those who never learn to be independent because they go right from having their parents support them to relying on someone else to do all of the adult things that we should all have a knowledge of.

 

The problem in this sort of situation is that, even if the relationship is healthy and loving and in all aspects wonderful, something could go bad that leaves the little absolutely stranded.

 

Maybe the big loves supporting the little, loves doing all the adulting, and yes maybe they are helping them to accomplish goals. BUT there is a big difference in learning something with the guarantee of a fall back and having to do things yourself out of necessity. What if something were to happen to the provider in this relationship? Illness, accident that prevents them doing the usual, or even death? What then happens to the person who has never had to be an adult ever in their lives? Who doesn't have a clue what to do or where to start?

 

This is a huge risk for littles who never grow up. Who seek someone to take care of them 100% and jump from CG to CG without growing mentally. Yes every adult has the right to carry out their relationship however they choose. But the healthy way is to know that you CAN do everything on your own and that you don't NEED a partner to do it for you even if that's the way you end up having it.

 

There is of course no cookie cutter way to have a relationship, but adults should know how to he adults and shouldn't use being "little" as a scapegoat for not developing as a normal healthy adult. Even if they never need to use anything they have ever learned the fundamentals should still be there.

[Mr. Walden]

It is as if there was no dark side whatsoever to female nature. Some posts would possibly even question the fact that there is such a thing as nature,I guess.

It is as if being immature was a problem among littles only. What about daddies who need a little ? The risk they are at,is indeed mentioned in this thread,but only as if it was solely a consequence of little behavior.

DD, extremely good point.. as i can relate personally. There was a short lived DDLG relationship i was in a couple years back. I was relatively new to this lifestyle, and quickly established a relationship with the first female who called me "daddy". looking back on it now, i was extraordinarily nieve on what I desired in a cg/l dynamic. for all intents and purposes, i was willing to be emotionally taxed and financially exhausted, just becaused i "had" a little, and the warm fuzzies of thinking i was her daddy. being objective now, i realize i was more of a "sugar daddy". overseas vacations, jewelery, caribbean cruise, paying off her debt... i was most certainly being taken advantage of. there was very little emotionally honest ddlg cg/l dynamic going on. hence, why im so vigilant on the mental nature of future potential littles.

 

it was all a learning experience, unfortunately an expensive one though. I'm comfortable being single for the time being, until i find a little worth my investment. to sum it up, yes, i totally agree with you that daddies/cg can be just as easily manipulated or otherwise taken advantage of as the littles. this fact seems to be glossed over in these forums as "inconvenient, therefore irrelevant". thank you so much DD for your input!

 

i apologise for the grammatical errors, phone typing atm. i also apologize to the moderators if this is considered a topic "bump".

 

WF

[Tasha-Pasha]

Just to make this perfectly clear right off the bat: the desire to be pretty in females in not a societal pressure, it's a biological one which is there for means of finding a mate to reproduce with. With this being said, I do not think it's okay for preteen magazines to advertise how to make preteens irresistible and whatever else.

 

[/b]

Please show me this research that shows that females have a biological need to be pretty.

 

In the mammal kingdom the males are the brightly coloured gender in order to show the females that they are a worthy mate. The females, being the ones who care for their young, tend towards muted colours in order to blend in to the background so that they are avle to hide from potential predators.

 

Every research paper I have read on this topic actually indicates the opposite of your statement.

[Antoinette]

Please show me this research that shows that females have a biological need to be pretty.

 

In the mammal kingdom the males are the brightly coloured gender in order to show the females that they are a worthy mate. The females, being the ones who care for their young, tend towards muted colours in order to blend in to the background so that they are avle to hide from potential predators.

 

Every research paper I have read on this topic actually indicates the opposite of your statement.

 

It's a biological fact that women mostly feel the need to appear attractive in order to attract a mate. It is an obvious instinctual necessity for women to be 'attractive' as they want to birth children and have the maternal needs and instincts. Historically men have a much higher morality mate meaning that they get their pick of the female they want. Women are in competition with other women to get the man they want to reproduce with. Of course this doesn't hold true for everyone. 

 

Women have a much more intense biological clock, with regards to hormones (increasing throughout their life) which for the most part is telling them to find a mate, reproduce etc. Men on the other hand, have the instinctual need to 'spread their seed' as much as possible, rather than pair-bonding. Men have no problem (widely generalizing, this doesn't go for all) having sex with a woman (if they're not tied down) within a certain range of age and attractiveness and this has been a fact throughout human history.

 

Now, this would mean women would have to try harder to look attractive as to attract a mate to pair-bond with and reproduce, which women want to do (instinctively). Statistics show that more men than women cheat on their partners which means women are constantly having to stay attractive in order to keep their mate interested as men naturally are more promiscuous (not all men. Not. All. Men. NOT. ALL. WOMEN) 

 

Biological needs as well as cultural ones are things that go into females wanting to be attractive and desirable. There are many other factors that I'm not pointing out but this is an old post and one that I probably won't be returning to. You have every right to disagree but I urge you to look in other directions rather than ones that are saying that it is society that is making women 'pressured' to be attractive. Of course every research paper you've read on this topic would indicate the opposite as I highly doubt you read research topics that don't fit your agenda, not that I'm criticizing you for that it's just that the vast majority of people don't. 

[Mr. Walden]

in my humble opinion, social pressure "is" biological pressure, as humans need social interaction by nature. i think you both may be right. just an observation.

 

WF