Having trouble getting over my little leaving me

[Dude123]

My little recently ended things with me after a year of a ldr. Having trouble coping as she can't seem to put into words why it happened

[Antoinette]

That must suck, especially since it seems like you didn't have proper reason or closure. I would suggest you message her asking her why but it might lead to more heartache for you. The best thing you can do right now is busy yourself, surround yourself with people you love - positive people. Maybe read a little, video games, going outside is great - fresh air helps a lot. Just try to do things that stop you thinking about her. Ultimately that's all you can really do, moving on is hard but it is possible, despite how many feel when they're in the initial heartache phase it is possible to get over. 

I'm sure people here would be happy to talk to you if you needed anybody.

[Guest ZenDD]

I was in a similar situation once in my life. I was in a serious, two-year relationship that my little ended in, what seemed to me, a very vague and irrational fashion. It can be so disconcerting. Personally, the feeling of unresolved issues is the worst kind to have. The reality is that you may never know why it happened. You can replay it in your mind from every perspective imaginable and still not come to a conclusion. And the fact is that you have to prepare yourself for the fact that you may never fully know or understand why things ended the way they ended: why she thought what she thought, did what she did, or said what she said. Saddly, Daddies/CG's can't fix everything for a little or for a relationship.

 

But we can fix ourselves and we need to constantly be introspective and pro-active to deal with any and all weaknesses, insecurities, and inconsistencies we find within us. In time, and with some distance, you may be able to gain a better view on what occurred. Sometimes we don't see things that are right in front of us. They can be beautiful, yet mysterious. And sometimes, when we're in close, we think that we have a clear understanding of what it is we're beholding. But as we back away, the mystery is revealed and we realize there was something bigger happening all along (think of a Chuck Close painting).

 

A great, sweet, friend here recently said to me that it must be hard to be a single Daddy. I really appreciated that comment. The difficulties of being a little without a CG is often discussed, but the inverse is rarely brought up. Daddies are supposed to be strong and capable of handling anything. But the reality is that life without a little can feel aimless and without purpose. True, we don't have to hide our Daddy self and Daddy behaviors the way that littles sometimes have to compartmentalize theirs to function in the "real world." But being a Daddy without a little can be a debilitatingly empty feeling.

 

However, just as it is important for littles to learn to continue to nurture themselves, and care for their own mind, heart, and spirit when there is no CG in their life, It is important for Daddies to do the same. Use this time for self-development. Continue to cultivate your knowledge, your career, your philosophies and/or spirituality, your creativity, and compassion. Continue to make yourself into a better person, the person you want to be, so as to be empowered to one day help nurture the little that you hope comes into your life one day to beome the best little she can be. Good luck! Persevere!

Edited August 30, 2016 by ZenDD

[annemarie]

i had this happen to me last year. some guy i was really into at the time dumped me with basically no warning or any real explanation and it took a while to get over because i just had no idea what had happened, but i did get over it. it will take some time, but listen to break up songs, do things you enjoy doing, and be yourself without someone else. enjoy your own company and then you'll both be over her and ready for a new relationship

[Guest Coffeefarism]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. My advice is to try to keep yourself as distracted as you can. This may be hard and you may still find yourself thinking about your little or relating things with her and feeling sad. But you have to keep going. Try to watch new shows or movies or rediscover those that you used to like. This is also a good time to hang out more with your friends. Try to always sourround yourself with people who care about you and will be there to listen to you. It's hard but eventually it will all pass and you'll realize that probably what happened was for the best.

[LoralieHaze]

Can she not put it into words or does she not want to put it into words? Those are two very different things. It might be difficult for her to articulate what the issue was but if she's just refusing to tell you, then I would count that as a bullet dodged and try to move on.

 

In my opinion, she owes you an explanation. I know trying to get that from her can run the risk of you being hurt more or focusing too much attention on it, but I think it would be more helpful overall. It's much harder to get over someone when you don't have closure. Even if the reason why she broke up with you was a bad one, it's better to know than to be left guessing. I don't want to get your hopes up but perhaps if she tells you why, it's something that the two of you can work on.

[Under_Sir_Cosis617]

I wish you're best of luck it's hard losing your little I'v been battling to keep my ddlg for awhile now almost reaching a year and half since we started during which there was some missing time that she was gone but something always pulled us bk. I hope you get the advice u need to cope with this situation and know I feel for you one hundred percent. Good luck

[Under_Sir_Cosis617]

The best***