Princessofpluto Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 Hey! Me and my boyfriend have been in this relationship for more than 2 years but we are in this ddlg thing for a year or less and of course we are both kinky but we recently decided to show each other this kinky sides of us practically... so sometimes I feel like he is not a daddy yet he acts like that often. But not paying attention to me all the time. And now we are all in this bdsm thing and I had a sub drop and he didn't realized and when I was searching on the Internet about my sub drop he asked what is sub drop and he said I'm not going on forums and etc. Summary is, he is not searching about all these stuff and not trying to be a better dom/daddy. But he makes me feel sad in this way. And I'm too shy to talk to him I guess. What to do I'm so confused 1
Guest Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) (I am some what in the same boat as you. Only in a vanilla relationship where my s.o is not interested in ddlg at all) You must communicate what you want. As wonderful as it would be he can't pick up on hints (most guys can't from what I have seen). You need to let him know it's important to you. If it's something you really want and need, let him know. From there it's up to him to do the rest and if he is not providing what you want it's up to you to choose where to go from there. Stay and try and make it work (which he may end up not giving you what you really want and it will upset you, as it has already. Remember he is learning about how to be a daddy too but if he is not willing to learn more about it you need to decide if your willing to wait for him to learn if he ever will) or find someone better suited for your needs. Just think about it and give it some real thought as to what will make you (and him )happy and always talk it out! Best wishes to you both Edited August 27, 2016 by Arya 1
Guest Zephy Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 You have to muster up some courage and talk to him what makes you unhappy and sad. Don't remain like this throughout your relationship as it'll just make you more unhappier in the run. When you don't communicate one tend to overthink things and that will never lead to something good. As for him, it's not that rare that there are guys who are more interested in the sexual aspect of a ddlg relationship which I'm assuming he might be. I don't know, but what I can tell is you need things like aftercare - you want the relationship to be more than just about sex. So far I feel this is just another case of incompatibility, but try and talk it out first before you think it's best to find someone that could fulfill your wants and needs. You can put as much effort into the relationship but if he doesn't show interest from his part without you needing to convince him then it's just not something for him. 1
Michael Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 It's worrying that someone involved in BDSM doesn't know what sub drop is. You should put the BDSM stuff on hold until he starts making more of an effort to learn about it. Truth is that you aren't safe by submitting to a dom that isn't educating himself on these topics; he just doesn't care. 4
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