Advice?

[Antoinette]

Okay so I want to start off by saying this is in no way an attack on littles who are in a relationship but their significant other isn't into DDlg but yea okay. I like this guy, but he hasn't ever tried DDlg and I'm worried because I don't think I can teach him.

I've known this guy for about 2 years and we've always been flirty and really close but only recently have we actually decided to be more relationship-y, we're not actually dating but we're pretty close I'd say (he lives in America so we're taking it slow). Recently I told him I was into DDlg and I explained the basics of what it was, he told me it was interesting and I know he's looked up some stuff about it because he has engaged (of his own accord) in conversation about DDlg with me, about things I didn't tell him. This makes me happy but the thing is I don't feel like he wants to be a DD, or even if he is into it or can. I know not everyone can be a Daddy and I understand that, but I don't think I could be in a non-DDlg relationship, it would just be too upsetting for me. 

 

I want to try and introduce him more to DDlg but I feel as though I'm going to need to lead the way, which makes me very uncomfortable because I feel kind of 'in-control' and that makes me anxious (does anybody else experience this?) I'm sorry that this was such a mess I just really need some advice.

Edited August 20, 2016 by xAntoinette

[Michael]

It'll turn out one of two ways. The first is that you take the lead during the first phase of the relationship, and slowly over time, he starts to enjoy being a DD and it works well and you don't have to be "in control" anymore. The second is that you keep trying to make him into a DD, but it never really works, and eventually you give up and settle for a regular relationship with him, or find someone else.

 

What path you pick is up to you, but you should think it through carefully, because you don't want to look back and regret wasting time on him (and it being long distance, it's even more complicated).

[Antoinette]

Thank you so much! It won't be long distance for long though because I do plan on moving next April, but honestly thank you so much.

[TheGambler]

Well, he now knows what do you like. If he is really interested he will keep trying to learn more about DDlg issues and you will notice it.As long as he tries it i think that is good (right now, at least). If don't probably you would let it go

 

But as Michael said, is up to you. And most of times is a lot harder to talk about this things than have to choose ourselves.

[Guest annemarie]

alright so i have a list of tumblr posts that may or may not be helpful to you

• ddlg for beginners (I REALLY RECOMMEND READING THIS ONE)
• if you're becoming a daddy!dom here are some tips for beginners (have your s/o read this one)
• what is a caregiver? (another one for your s/o)
• little starter kit (treat yo self)

those are the only links i'd demand mandatory reading. the rest are just things to enhance your relationship and ddlg experience (all of these are for your s/o). i've starred the ones i think he should read

• presents: ddlg 101 the masterlist 
• 10 things every daddy should know**
• 5 ways to make your little feel little
• 10 phrases to make someone feel little
• 50 things every caregiver should do for their little**
• games to play with your little**
• 3 signs your little feels ignored
• how to cure grumpy little syndrome
• steps to get your little out of adulting
• littlespace food ideas
• nonverbal little communication
• some aftercare for your little
• what never to do to a little**
• attention to all caregivers**
• caregivers on a budget
• little things busy daddies can do to still give their little attention

these are links for you

• why it's ultra important to have little friends
• ways to show your daddy/caretaker appreciation
• websites for little stuff
• 10 activities for lonely littles (who can drive)

and these are overall links that kinda cover everything in between

• rewards for littles
• things to expect playing outside with littles
• when littles are sick
• 40 important ddlg facts
• getting into littlespace
• 15 ways to help your little come out and play
• stuffies $10 and under

ok that's a lot of links, but i've read through all of them and it's the reason i know so much about ddlg despite having not been in it very long to begin with. i hope this helps!

[Antoinette]

alright so i have a list of tumblr posts that may or may not be helpful to you

• ddlg for beginners (I REALLY RECOMMEND READING THIS ONE)
• if you're becoming a daddy!dom here are some tips for beginners (have your s/o read this one)
• what is a caregiver? (another one for your s/o)
• little starter kit (treat yo self)

those are the only links i'd demand mandatory reading. the rest are just things to enhance your relationship and ddlg experience (all of these are for your s/o). i've starred the ones i think he should read

• presents: ddlg 101 the masterlist
• 10 things every daddy should know**
• 5 ways to make your little feel little
• 10 phrases to make someone feel little
• 50 things every caregiver should do for their little**
• games to play with your little**
• 3 signs your little feels ignored
• how to cure grumpy little syndrome
• steps to get your little out of adulting
• littlespace food ideas
• nonverbal little communication
• some aftercare for your little
• what never to do to a little**
• attention to all caregivers**
• caregivers on a budget
• little things busy daddies can do to still give their little attention

these are links for you

• why it's ultra important to have little friends
• ways to show your daddy/caretaker appreciation
• websites for little stuff
• 10 activities for lonely littles (who can drive)

and these are overall links that kinda cover everything in between

• rewards for littles
• things to expect playing outside with littles
• when littles are sick
• 40 important ddlg facts
• getting into littlespace
• 15 ways to help your little come out and play
• stuffies $10 and under

ok that's a lot of links, but i've read through all of them and it's the reason i know so much about ddlg despite having not been in it very long to begin with. i hope this helps!

Thank you so much oh my gosh you're amazing!

[Guest MissNMTX]

AnneMarie,

 

You did an excellent job. I'm impressed.

[Guest annemarie]

Thank you so much oh my gosh you're amazing!

 

 you're welcome!!

 

AnneMarie,

 

You did an excellent job. I'm impressed.

 

thank you! i just basically went through my ddlg tumblr lol

[DollDirector]

Yes,thanks AnneMarie,I am bookmarking this topic !

[Guest Princessaj]

AnneMarie, you ROCK!

[Guest Prat]

Bookmarking as well, Annemarie rocks!

[Guest Littlepup]

Ohh I know how you feel, I don't like being in the lead and having to control how things go, it's too mentally taxing and doesn't let me regress and I get stressed out. So I would ask him if he would continue to teach himself more and ask to have him start talking about it with you sometimes. that way he gets practice lead you both in doing DDlg and you can count on him to bring it up.

I also hate when a significant other isn't sure what they want, or will do "anything" for the other person even if it's something they don't really want to do. because it doesn't feel secure when a guy isn't firm in his way. I was telling my bf last night.. that it would make me sad if he was doing things just because to make me happy and not because it's something he wants to do himself............ he then told me that he "does everything he does because he wants to, he never does things he doesn't want to do, and he likes bossing me around, now go to sleep"