You're not my Daddy

[Guest Dean]

I have read this entire discussion several times and have thought about why Daddy* bothers me and little* doesn't. For me, it is a social etiquette thing. Your name is what you want to be called in the community. It's the same as walking into a room and introducing yourself. If your name is DaddyDaddyDaddy, it makes it difficult to address you as anything other than "hey you". The problem is that the word "Daddy" implies a relationship. Same way with Master. The words Mister and sir don't necessarily have that same context. The same is true of littlegirl or babygirl. They imply a relationship that should exist for someone to use them. The other "little" names aren't a problem for me as they don't have the relationship context. 

 

There are, of course, exceptions and I feel that JMacDaddy is one because MacDaddy is a common enough nickname and doesn't feel like it is trying to force me to recognize a relationship that doesn't exist. DaddyO is also acceptable in this way. 

 

The Daddy variations are still preferable to the walking personal ads. I have no idea what to call DaddyWantsLittleGirlForSexAndRockNRoll(DrugsOptional). 

 

This is not name shaming. Just don't expect people to be comfortable calling you by the name which you chose to be called by if that name consists of relationship-related words. It is really just what do you want a new group of potential friends to call you. I doubt your friends call you Daddy. 

 

Maybe the fact that this is a community of like-minded individuals and not a dating site should be reiterated. There is a personals section, an introductions section, and your profile to state that you are a Daddy or Dom or both. There is no need to advertise it to everyone.

 

Bottom line, you can name yourself anything you want. Just be aware of how people may react to that name. 

Edited August 18, 2016 by Dean

[Guest tempest]

Dean, exactly!!!!! You said it in a way that is perfect!!!! I'll like your post tomorrow as apparently I've used up my post likes for the 24 hr period,lol. Thank you for your well thought out comment, it made a lot of sense and I liked the points you made as well.

[LoralieHaze]

There was a point in time where I was annoyed by men who put Daddy in their username, so I totally understand those who feel that way. However, the notion lessened the more I thought about it, mostly because it makes me a hypocrite since I have Little in my username. In my experience on this site, and the internet in general, there will be people with completely innocuous names who are huge jerks, and there will be people with suspicious sounding names who are total sweethearts. I might be stating the obvious here but behavior is a much better indicator of quality than what someone wants to be identified as by strangers. (Not that it should be disregarded entirely, just taken with a grain of salt.) The other day in a PM, I had someone I barely know refer to me multiple times as babygirl, which was way more worthy of dismissal than just their name alone.

 

However, there is one type of username that I absolutely hate and that is overtly sexual ones, like HugeDickDaddy or BabyNeedsASpanking. Yes, I know that DDlg is a considered a kink, and yes, I do enjoy the sexual aspects of it, but there's so much more to it than that. When someone is on here and only sees it as sex, or confuses it with daddy kink, or is looking for nothing but a booty call, I find it extremely bothersome and I avoid them as much as I can. There is another type of name that I definitely don't hate but still think deserves some side eye, ones like DaddyDom6172 or LittleGirl3295. Firstly, it's very unoriginal. Secondly, it gives off a weird vibe, like we're in some sort of prison system with assigned numbers, or like we're those kids marching into the meat grinder in the Pink Floyd video. 

 

One thing that no one has mentioned so far is that when people sign up here, they're new to the site and more often than not, new to DDlg. How are they supposed to know that certain names/titles make other people uncomfortable or annoyed? Yes, I know that we have the privilege to change our names, and I appreciate that option, but we have to cut the noobs some slack. When I joined in May, I had already made two other accounts on different (non-DDlg specific) sites with the name "LittleKittenLo" so it was the obvious choice. I had no idea at the time that so many others would have almost identical names to mine. I've been thinking about changing it, but since I'm so active on the forum, most people already know me by this name and to change it now might cause confusion. Also, I'm not even sure what I would change it to.

 

As far as earning the title goes, yes and no. No one has to earn the right to exist as a caregiver or a little since it's entirely possible to be either of those things without a partner. What has to be earned is the privilege to be in a relationship, to belong to someone, and to use daddy and little girl as terms of endearment instead of generic signifiers. 

 

The first time someone on here called me Kitten, it made me really uncomfortable, but in their defense, the word is in my username. That is precisely why I made sure to say in my profile that I prefer for people to call me either Loralie or Lo. This is beneficial not only to potential friends who want to avoid calling me pet names, but also to let potential daddies know that I don't want to be called pet names unless we're in a relationship. Now when someone calls me Kitten, I know they haven't read my profile. 

[Guest tempest]

All great comments, though to reiterate, as a little myself, I'm only referring to the name choices of Bigs.

[auban]

Interesting topic. I typically try to call people by their entire screen name wheN first talking to them. I have to admit, having an original name does make it easier.

 

I don't mind the daddy/little/kitten etc in the name, so long is there is a more original part to it.

 

I hope my own screen name doesn't imply too much... lol

[littlelili]

Well... I feel awkward in this topic for obvious reasons.

I really don't think I lack confidence. Maybe we are not as creative as others to find a nickname.

Generalizing is kinda rude.

[Guest GrapeApe]

Dean makes a good point: Why does it effect us when we hear the words 'Daddy' and 'Little'? 

 

Furthermore, why is 'Little' more acceptable a word than 'Daddy', in general?  I think the majority of people feel this way, intuitively, though they may not be able to explain exactly why.

 

I just think it is in the nature of men and women... Like, why do men not have a problem with lesbians, but gay men are almost taboo?

 

I suppose we all each have our individual preferences and opinions, but it is good to have a dicussion about it.

[Guest tempest]

I feel I need to consistently remind, my topic was that I didn't like it when a BIG had a relationship type title in their name. Edited August 20, 2016 by lele

[DollDirector]

Lele,it is more or less grrhhrrrr but we are reminded that the minute we launch a topic,it ceases to be 100% under control.

Even more grrgrrrrr,is the idea that we may get a little backfire. But this might as well be seen as a subject of pride: People already had feelings but they could not come out.

[Guest tempest]

DollDirector, you have a good point. Thank you!

[Guest Battle Entity Sparky]

You know I never thought about it like that. I've often had the word "Daddy" in my names. Not to show off or anything llike that. I'm just proud of being a Daddy. So on ddlg sites or other sites I include Daddy in my username. After reading your opinion on the matter maybe using it like that does devalue a honorable title. If fact I agree with you. Looks like I need a new name. x3

 

 

Edit:

 

Often tiny details we think are unimportant can actually be of great significance. So I want to think the OP for bring up an excellent topic for discussion and helping me correct a social error.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Battle Entity

[Guest rosie chan]

The Daddy variations are still preferable to the walking personal ads. I have no idea what to call DaddyWantsLittleGirlForSexAndRockNRoll(DrugsOptional). 

 

 

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST POST OF ALL TIME.

[stargirl]

I never thought of it this way. But although I do understand your perspective, I think it's judgmental and at least somewhat flawed.

[Guest tempest]

Hmmm, a flawed human, imagine that.

[Guest rosie chan]

I never thought of it this way. But although I do understand your perspective, I think it's judgmental and at least somewhat flawed.

 

what does the "at least somewhat flawed" portion mean exactly? care to elaborate? i'm just curious.

[stargirl]

what does the "at least somewhat flawed" portion mean exactly? care to elaborate? i'm just curious.

For example, someone new could put "daddy" in their name and not be any of the things you described simply because they were ignorant of your bias 

 

I just mean it's not one size fits all.

Edited August 23, 2016 by stargirl

[Guest rosie chan]

For example, someone new could put "daddy" in their name and not be any of the things you described simply because they were ignorant of your bias 

 

I just mean it's not one size fits all.

i think it's just one of those "most people do it" kind of things, especially considering we've already kind of gone through the fact that some people put it in their names and are NOT any of the things described. so i don't think it was flawed, i think, in fact, it was actually quite well thought out after all. then again, that's just my opinion.

[stargirl]

i think it's just one of those "most people do it" kind of things, especially considering we've already kind of gone through the fact that some people put it in their names and are NOT any of the things described. so i don't think it was flawed, i think, in fact, it was actually quite well thought out after all. then again, that's just my opinion.

Opinion acknowledged and respected

 

Everyone has their own truth

Edited August 24, 2016 by stargirl

[Guest ZenDD]

Let me begin by saying i appreciate your opinion and i respect your right to have it and to share it. As someone who has the word "Daddy" in his forum "name" here, I'd like to say that first of all, ZenDaddy isn't my actual name, so i personally don't expect to be called that. I haven't run into any problems yet, and simple "Hi, how are you's" seem to have worked just fine. Those comfortable with calling me by that name or some abbreviated version are welcome to do so. Those that don't like it, have plenty of others to talk to, so it works out for everyone.

 

Secondly, it's a descriptor, to let everyone in the forum know clearly, and simply, what i identify as in the most basic way. I understand the point of the topic, but semantics and context are important here, and I think it's a leap to think that everyone in the lifestyle believes in concepts like "titles". I surely don't. If you do, that's great, i don't judge it. I view the terms "Daddy" and "little" as descriptors of psychological perspective, not "title's". I view them more as terms of endearment and when one addresses the other with it, it is acknowledgement of one another's psychology. So with all due respect, please don't assume that a word's definition is the same for everyone. Generalizations are rampant in "lifestyles", and i think the whole point of forums like these are to be in a place where those generalizations don't have to exist, and that we don't have to be boxed in to one person's idea of what this particular lifestyle's psychology is.

 

Words always fall short. But we use them for ease of communication. I understand if you don't like the choice of someone's forum name, but that just means you don't have to speak to them. To openly critique them, and assume that they are coming from the same perspective as you seems hostile. Again, I mean no disrespect, and i appreciate you bringing this up because many have an opinion about it, but please don't assume you know what motivates my communication style before you even know me. Don't we come here to avoid that kind of judgement? Peace and open-mindedness to all.

Edited August 24, 2016 by ZenDaddy

[Guest tempest]

Firstly, I am not trying to be hostile. I feel that needs to be clarified immediately, anyone who has truly gotten to know me on here knows that I'm not a hostile person at all. Secondly, you say you respect my opinion but then say I seem hostile....it's my opinion. As a little, I wanted to voice my opinion. It's not a rule of forum that you can't have daddy in your name. But, I'm allotted freedom to post my opinion. I assume nothing about you, I don't know you. That being said, I don't feel it's necessary in MY opinion, to advertise one is a daddy in their name when they can do so on their profile and personal.
If I seem upset at this point, it's because I've now been told I'm judgemental and hostile, seems I'm the one being judged. Which, if I am, then that's not showing any better actions than what I apparently have done to cause prejudice against my own self.
And just to add something as to why I feel "daddy" being in a name is difficult for me, the following was part of Dean's comment to this posting:
"The problem is that the word "Daddy" implies a relationship. Same way with Master."

Goodnight, lele

Edited August 24, 2016 by tempest

[prncsscs]

I'm all for equality and love and world peace and all that good stuff so if littles are allowed to have their screen names be littlesara or lilprincess123 or whatever, then daddies can call themselves daddy/sir/master.

[Naughty Daddy]

Agree with Jaylen and the others who have a negative reaction to "bigs" that immediately call you Babygirl or little one or just go right into the role of Daddy or caregiver with someone they just met. I would even find it a bit off putting if a "little" started calling me Daddy right away. It's my opinion that you should get to know the person you are talking to and build a little trust before you assume any roles with eachother. To me that's the bigger issue. Respecting eachother.

 

As to what name or handle you want to call yourself. That doesn't bother me at all. It's a personal decision and whatever you feel comfortable with. That's the big distinction. What you call yourself (which you are entitled to as an individual) versus what you call someone else without consent.

 

Btw my name on here just happens to be the name of my tumblr.

Edited September 8, 2016 by Naughty Daddy

[HeCallsMePrincess]

um, well i don't really agree or understand. lots of littles have "baby girl, little, little girl" etc in their names and i don't think they're desperate for a daddy