You're not my Daddy

[Guest tempest]

There's been something bothering me for a while and I decided to make it a topic. Not to be mean, but to voice my discomfort.

 

I am quite annoyed when "daddies" put titles in their names. Honestly, if a title such as daddy, master, sir, dom etc., is in one's display name I automatically dismiss that person as a potential. I may be friends, but that is all. If you need to advertise that you are a Big, then you obviously aren't.

 

Secondly, those with names that make you seem desperate....so, you're a nice guy not getting a break, don't desperately use that as your name...it's creepy and just plain sad. Bigs are people too, but I personally feel that if you lack confidence in yourself, how are you to help a little with that issue?

 

So, yeah, that's all...anyone else feel the same?

[Guest GrapeApe]

For me, although I agree with you, in principle, my own username stems from when I was in HS... I was a nerd, but sort of the cool nerd, if you know what I mean, and my friends at the time nicknamed me 'MacDaddy.'  This was also a reference to a pop / rap song by Kriss Kross, which was popular on the radio back then, c. 1995?  (DaddyMac will make you Jump, Jump... MacDaddy will make you Jump, Jump...")

 

And 'J' is my first initial.  So, although I agree that the word 'daddy' is in itself a turnoff, I do not want to change my username, because it is part of my past / personality.

 

Update, 8/24/16: I have changed my username to GrapeApe.  I had kept my previous one for a long time, but I felt it was time for a change.  Thanks for all your commments.

Edited August 24, 2016 by GrapeApe

[CosmicKitty]

I feel the same about it. I also hate when they call you baby girl or any other name when they aren't your daddy.

[Bart]

On the little-side of the discussion, it is sometimes also hard to call a little with a username like 'littlegirl1' something non-affectionate

[Guest tempest]

JMac, same age so yes, I know what you are referring to. You don't have to change it, I just felt it was time I let my feelings on the issue be aired as I know I'm not alone.

 

Cosmic, if they do that and they aren't your daddy, it's against forum rules. I also hate it, and I understand.

 

Bart, that's a very valid point. You're welcome to be affectionate with me, lmao, you knew that though.

Edited August 17, 2016 by faerydae

[CosmicKitty]

A guy did it to me and I set him straight.

[Guest GrapeApe]

faerydae, you are not alone.  The words 'little' and 'daddy' are pre-loaded with concepts that should be explored later on in a relationship, not at first meeting.  For the most part, we all know what we are, and we should all be able to come up with a clever username that reflects what our dynamic is.  Without using 'little' or 'daddy'...

[Princess-P]

I don't see a problem with it. Many people want to advertise what side of the spectrum they are on. Saying not to put Daddy/Mommy/any other "Big" related title in their name is also the same as calling every single little with princess, kitty, baby, doll, or other cute nicknames pothetic and desperate as well.

 

Secondly not everyone on here is looking for a partner, or for attention of any sort. They just enjoy the forum and chose a name that ment something to them. Maybe its what their partner called them? Or hell maybe it's random? Why does it matter if they aren't hurting anyone and its not derogatory?

 

I can understand when people expect you to call them by Daddy/Mommy/little how that can be wrong, as your not in a relationship. But you can always ask someone how they like to be addressed or they can tell you a way of adressong them (such as the first initial of their name or something) that doesn't involve any sort of title.

 

Lastly I don't think anyone with their desired role in their nickname lacks confidence. That's just a way to name shame. I think those who are offended by a name like Daddy/Mommy in a user name are most likely over sensitive or frustrated because they don't know how to address these people or too shy to ask flat out how to address them while communicating.

 

I also want to point out that just because someone messages you and called you something like hun, sweetie, darlin' does not always mean they are trying to emulate being your caregiver. Why is it OK for littles to address each other like this? Why is it offencive only when coming from a big? Why don't you lose your shit at every waitress that calls you those names because they don't know what else to call you? Sometimes those cute name a are harmless and just a way of addressing someone you don't know because you don't know what else to call them.

[Guest tempest]

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, it's ok. I'm from the south, so I do use affectionate terms for people, though I try not to unless I know they are ok with it. I'm not "losing my shit", just wanted the "daddies" to know that it does bother some people. If everyone saw everything the same the world would be a dull place.

[Dorky]

I don't really understand the problem with having "daddy" in your name when the majority of littles will have the words "princess", "kitten" or "little" in their name.

I've changed my display name though, as I don't want to cause any problems for you or other users on the forum.

[Osah]

Hi

[Guest Dominari]

I couldn't think of any original and I am not desperate or lacking self-confidence.

 

What you are doing is creating a stereotype and this can lead to prejudice and discrimination. Next you will say "I have friends that are _____"

 

And typically once I start talking to someone I will give them my real name. To be honest, I don't want someone calling me Daddy that isn't my little.

Edited August 17, 2016 by D@ddyDom

[Cuddly Bumblebee]

For me, my name is caused by lack of imagination at that moment, but it also tells clearly something about me. I don't know is it supposition, that I'm little in here, or something else or does it  even matter, but now anyone knows it without asking. There are other options to be, I mean (mommy instead of little etc.) So I didn't think much when chose my name. Who would knew it was gonna be so serious.

^( Just saying this to give a one perspective to this topic   )

 

In this forum that kind of name is just the same theme, I think. And sorry if my name is bothering anyone

[cutie_patootie]

I agree with Lele (faerydae) for the most part but there will always be exceptions.  It matters not to me what anyone calls themselves but being a lesbian, I tend to shy away from male Caregivers anyway.  Still, be very careful choosing your username because first impressions (while often times incorrect) can be very important... at least until someone gets to know you better.  What I find irritating and/or creepy is when someone (male or female) tries to hug me or cuddle me or snuggle with me without ever having said anything more to me than hello.  You wouldn't do that in real life so why are you doing it in the chat room??  The same applies to people who send me Friend requests without ever having had a conversation with me in the cat room.   

[Guest tempest]

Before anyone gets any more upset, what I'm doing is voicing my opinion, just as is allowed for anyone reading the thread. What you choose to do about what you read is your own choice. I'm not "creating" a stereotype, nor trying to hurt anyone's feelings.

[Guest annemarie]

I agree with Lele (faerydae) for the most part but there will always be exceptions.  It matters not to me what anyone calls themselves but being a lesbian, I tend to shy away from male Caregivers anyway.  Still, be very careful choosing your username because first impressions (while often times incorrect) can be very important... at least until someone gets to know you better.  What I find irritating and/or creepy is when someone (male or female) tries to hug me or cuddle me or snuggle with me without ever having said anything more to me than hello.  You wouldn't do that in real life so why are you doing it in the chat room??  The same applies to people who send me Friend requests without ever having had a conversation with me in the cat room.   

 

i agree with all of this except the last part. i know that sometimes i send people friend requests even if i haven't spoken to them in the chat room for a couple reasons 1) there's enough on their profile that makes me believe i could be friends with them if we talk 2) i don't always see them in the chat room first. a lot of people don't go in the chat room, so the only way to get to know them any better is to PM them and the only way you can do that is by sending them a friend request. so that's the only reasons i'd disagree with that. otherwise yeah. i also think it's creepy when people try to hug or snuggle you and they don't know you. well at least that's how i feel when it comes from men (because of my background with men hurting me), but i don't mind as much with women.

[DaddysLilCrybby]

This is a ddlg specific website - and, should be a safe space to be yourself - in much of my everyday life, i cannot express my little side - so, it's nice to have a username that reflects that - it feels good to have a place where that can be part of my identity - i'm assuming it's the same for a lot of bigs, which is why they use terms such as Daddy, Sir, Dom, etc. I understand that perfectly - but, very much agreed, don't skip steps an get all snuggly wuggly or flat out gross with me right - unless we know eachother, that's just ruuude

[Guest tempest]

I have no problem with your username crybby, it's not that that I'm addressing.

[Guest QueenJaylen]

I TOTALLY 100% AGREE LIKE I GET IT YOU ARE A DADDY YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT KNOWN IN UR USERNAME. BUT I HATE WHEN I GET MESSAGES FROM GUYS AND THEY ARE ALREADY ACTING LIKE I BELONG TO THEM OR SOMETHING AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR FIRST NAME LIKE GTFO OR EVEN PEOPLE WHO SEND FRIEND REQUEST AND THEY HAVE NOTHING IN A PERSONAL OR IN A POST AND I'M LIKE WHO TF ARE YOU MAN. lol i got all the way off topic but i feel this post sooooo hard.

Edited August 17, 2016 by QueenJay

[DollDirector]

QueenJay,I don't think you are off-topic at all.

I think you won't find any site that has a forum,where women are not complaining about rudeness or creepy behavior. 

[Lilybee]

There's been something bothering me for a while and I decided to make it a topic. Not to be mean, but to voice my discomfort.

 

I am quite annoyed when "daddies" put titles in their names. Honestly, if a title such as daddy, master, sir, dom etc., is in one's display name I automatically dismiss that person as a potential. I may be friends, but that is all. If you need to advertise that you are a Big, then you obviously aren't.

 

Secondly, those with names that make you seem desperate....so, you're a nice guy not getting a break, don't desperately use that as your name...it's creepy and just plain sad. Bigs are people too, but I personally feel that if you lack confidence in yourself, how are you to help a little with that issue?

 

So, yeah, that's all...anyone else feel the same?

Preachhh.

[TheGambler]

Looks as we are mixing concepts here. I find perfectly normal someone that adresses himself as Daddy in his name. Why not? Being a Daddy isnt like a tiitle that you earn when you have a relationship with little and you lose if these relationship doesnt work. Is more like...uhh...a state of mind. That works with littles too. 

 

About people that treat littles as his own baby girls...thats absolutely rude, of course. But thats not the point (i think).

 

Oh, and about people with names like "BigMachoDaddy", "UltraSuperCoolStrongDom" or "ImYourHandsomeTyrant" well..they are simply ridiculous.

[Guest tempest]

Looks as we are mixing concepts here. I find perfectly normal someone that adresses himself as Daddy in his name. Why not? Being a Daddy isnt like a tiitle that you earn when you have a relationship with little and you lose if these relationship doesnt work. Is more like...uhh...a state of mind. That works with littles too. 

 

About people that treat littles as his own baby girls...thats absolutely rude, of course. But thats not the point (i think).

 

Oh, and about people with names like "BigMachoDaddy", "UltraSuperCoolStrongDom" or "ImYourHandsomeTyrant" well..they are simply ridiculous.

As I said, everyone has an opinion. That being said, I feel that to be called "Daddy" by a little, it must be earned by both parties in the relationship. It doesn't mean you aren't a daddy, just I don't feel the need to have it as part of the name. I didn't expect the firestorm of comments either, but, hey, it's nice to see others opinions.

[TheGambler]

The more opinions, the better. Thats why forums are fun

[Guest GrapeApe]

QueenJay,I don't think you are off-topic at all.

I think you won't find any site that has a forum,where women are not complaining about rudeness or creepy behavior. 

 

Females do the same thing, you know.  They either try and friend you with no information on their profile, and having never communicated before, or they leave cryptic comments which could mean anything.  Which is just to say, neither sex has a monopoly on having bad manners.