confused little needing some advice

[Guest jennlynn]

[ConstantMouth951]

My first suggestion is to

Be patients... He could have broken his phone or have something serious going on that he is trying to deal with. How long has he been MIA?

[LoralieHaze]

How long has it been since he last contacted you? There is a chance that he is legitimately busy or in an emergency but sadly, it is much more likely that he ghosted. I know exactly what it's like to not want to pry or bombard someone with messages and it's so hard when you must know what's going on but worry if trying to find out will only make things worse.

 

I personally have a strong preference for guys much older than me but I know that just because they're older, that doesn't mean they're always wiser. Being of a certain age doesn't preclude someone from being a jerk or playing with your emotions. I also get a bad feeling that perhaps, he picked you and said you were exactly his type because (and I'm so sorry if this sounds rude, I don't mean it to be!) you're young and brand new to this, so therefore you don't really know what you're doing and you're...easy to manipulate. I'm not saying that you don't have great qualities that guys like, you're obviously adorable and very articulate, but I know from my own experience that this might be the case. The thing about respecting each other's personal lives makes me suspicious because when I had a similar agreement with someone, it was because they were married. If you're dating somebody, you are their personal life, you know what I mean? Maybe you could elaborate on specifically what your agreement entails. You can also PM me if you want to talk more this.

 

I'm just going to put this out here as some words of wisdom to you or anyone else reading this: be wary of any person that only wants to use this site to find a partner. If someone wants to delete/abandon their account after they've met their little/caregiver, that shows a lack of commitment to the lifestyle and the community. (This is especially true if they're new to CG/L.) To me, it seems like these people don't want to learn or grow, or even help others do the same. Also, it should go without saying that this isn't a dating site.

[stargirl]

He's probably married, tbh. Also, ditto everything LittleKittenLo said.

Edited August 15, 2016 by stargirl

[Guest MissNMTX]

Is he new to DD?lg by any chance?  He might not uderstand what's involved, the expectations, or the investment required. There sadly, is also the more sinister possibilities.

[Guest blah911]

depends how long this has been, i'd say if it's been a week without a single message it's best for you to move on.  I hope he's just busy and will talk to you again very soon to explain.

[AngelLove]

It seems like he ghosted..I'm sorry sweetie you should just try to move on

[Guest jennlynn]

How long has it been since he last contacted you? There is a chance that he is legitimately busy or in an emergency but sadly, it is much more likely that he ghosted. I know exactly what it's like to not want to pry or bombard someone with messages and it's so hard when you must know what's going on but worry if trying to find out will only make things worse.

 

I personally have a strong preference for guys much older than me but I know that just because they're older, that doesn't mean they're always wiser. Being of a certain age doesn't preclude someone from being a jerk or playing with your emotions. I also get a bad feeling that perhaps, he picked you and said you were exactly his type because (and I'm so sorry if this sounds rude, I don't mean it to be!) you're young and brand new to this, so therefore you don't really know what you're doing and you're...easy to manipulate. I'm not saying that you don't have great qualities that guys like, you're obviously adorable and very articulate, but I know from my own experience that this might be the case. The thing about respecting each other's personal lives makes me suspicious because when I had a similar agreement with someone, it was because they were married. If you're dating somebody, you are their personal life, you know what I mean? Maybe you could elaborate on specifically what your agreement entails. You can also PM me if you want to talk more this.

 

I'm just going to put this out here as some words of wisdom to you or anyone else reading this: be wary of any person that only wants to use this site to find a partner. If someone wants to delete/abandon their account after they've met their little/caregiver, that shows a lack of commitment to the lifestyle and the community. (This is especially true if they're new to CG/L.) To me, it seems like these people don't want to learn or grow, or even help others do the same. Also, it should go without saying that this isn't a dating site.

First off, I just want to say thank you for this. Being someone who is new to this agenda, if you will, is quite an overwhelming experience. So I do appreciate you educating me on this.

 

I completely understand me seeming easy now that I think about it. At the time, being so excited that someone thought I was beautiful and cute etc, was thrilling. Now that my perspective is much less cloudy I'll be sure to try and be more aware.

 

The whole personal life thing did strike me as odd at first, I won't lie. I did ask him about his family and he was quite open to answering questions. We never had any set or specific rules as to how things went. It was all sort of unspoken and I didn't really like that.

 

In all honesty, he was probably more into the sex dynamic than anything else. Or maybe it was my fault since I didn't have a clue what was supposed to happen sexually or non sexually. Thankfully I didn't get too tied up in him, so I'm not completely crushed.

[Guest jennlynn]

Edited August 15, 2016 by jennlynn

[atxDD]

Sorry to hear this!  He may very well have ghosted, but if he's reading your messages and not responding, that's not a very supportive Daddy.  Even if I'm busy, I have 20 seconds to say "I'm very sorry, but I'm busy right now and I'll talk to you as soon as I can."

[Fighter-Wolf]

Sadly, I have to agree with most comments here.

 

First. He used to message you often before deleting his account on this forum? If he did, and not now... Well, okay, he might be busier, but still,m texting doesn't take too much time, specially if you want to clarify things to a little (more even if you want them to be your little? Or even if isn't little, just by being someone important to you, you would message them so they don't take it wrong).

 

Second. Deleting his account doesn't sound really well. I mean, even if he had found you, it isn't as if the forum was just meant to find a little and nothing else. Here you can learn from others, help or be helped. So I don't follow his logic to just vanish from this forum. That seems suspicious, sorry to said it.

 

Third. As someone else said... If he was planning that you two could became Daddy and little girl... You would mean his personal life (or at least a good bunch of it). I understand that there must be space for each of you to be you and enjoy yourself, but that doesn't mean you won't be part of his personal life, that just doesn't makes sense.

 

Finally... You have to be cautious, and this kind of situations will help you notice who is being honest and open with you, and who's not.

Remember you deserve someone who's completely honest with you, and shows how much they love you!

[Guest cottoncandyheart]

That's pretty gross, you deserve better. Unless like the others have said, he's extremely busy, feeling down etc. If he continues like this, honestly he's not worth your time hun!

[Princess-P]

Its easy to get caught up when something is new and exciting. You can easily miss the warning signs which others have already pointed out.

 

Remember all those times grown ups preached about the dangers of the internet or about guys who will suck you in to use you? And how you brushed it off like your too smart for all that shit? Lol guess what, they weren't making that shit up. And while your not stupid, anyone can fall for a manipulater because they can make it seem so real.

 

A warning to all newcomers, especially the young ones, keep your guard up. Even someone claiming to just want friendship can really be trying to get something out of you.

[StefanC71_UK]

Hi Jennlynn. 

 

I'm really new to this site and fairly new to being a DD. I thought I'd share a similar experience but in reverse.

 

I met my little via a dating app and we got along almost instantly. I'm 44, she's 21 and a reasonably sexual little. Within 3 days we were messaging all the time and then calling for at least an hour a night. It's a fairly long distance between us (4 hour train journey). After 3 weeks I asked if we could meet, we did and we had a fantastic 4 days, and I couldn't have been happier.

 

For the 2 weeks after that it was pretty much the same, messages and nightly calls. Then suddenly one monday it all stopped. She hadn't read my messages, she wouldn't answer my calls. Being so out of character I instantly worried about her. First for her safety, then that her phone might have been stolen. I tried calling a few times but to no avail. Tuesday I was so worried that I called some of her local hospitals to see if she'd been admitted. I promised myself I wouldn't bombard her, but sadly I did. Thinking her phone may have been stolen, and having already tried whatsapp and texts, I messaged her on FB too. I tried skype calling. Nothing.

 

Then, I saw an instagram picture, she was at the cinema. Still she hadn't read the messages from Monday. I sent one last message saying that at least I know she's ok, but please let me know why the sudden radio silence.

 

Then Wednesday morning, she did reply via facebook. Only briefly. She's had a fall, banged her head. They think theres a small fracture and some chance of her having a small bone fragment in her brain that needs an operation. There is a risk that it could leave her paralysed or worse.

 

I don't know if she stopped talking to me because she's worried sick, or because she thought that I might not want to be with her due to this. I've explained i'm not going anywhere and that I'm here to support her no matter what.

 

Unfortunately it has since gone quiet again. And after seeing that picture at the cinema I also wonder if it's an excuse but i genuinely don't think that of her.

 

I guess my point is, I know how hard it is to be in limbo, and to not know. I persisted because I felt that as someone who cared, that I should persist mainly to be sure she was still alive and well.

 

There is a chance that your Daddy has had a problem outside of his control. Give it some time. Persist just a little, not quite as overboard as I did. See what comes.

 

I hope it works out for you xx

Edited August 18, 2016 by StefanC71