Little Emotions - Not So Little

[Guest TwinklingSpace]

I've noticed when I'm in little space, I feel things with a lot more intensity - more passion. My emotions are open and raw. I feel everything so strong. My happy moments are really high and my sad moments are really low.

 

The happy moments are wonderful, I enjoy riding the high.

 

But the sad moments, they wreck me, to my core. And, they're so hard to get out of. I have to switch back to grown up space and work through the emotions, there's no way for me to work through them in little space. The emotional pain is just too strong and great.

 

And the things is, the majority of the time, the things that affect me in little space wouldn't affect me in grown up space. I know it's because I'm in little space and taking on the emotion of a child.

 

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, does anyone have any advice on either how I can prevent this from happening or tricks on how to get me out of this quicker/easier?

 

I have a melt down about once a week. I don't like them, it really rattles me emotionally and drains me. I don't like the way they feel and even after I work through it, it's still super painful to think back on the situation.

 

An example. I was coloring in a page of a Lalaloopsy character; I was really happy with the color choices I made and the way I was coloring it (I'm a perfectionist even in little space - ha ha). I had this vision of how I wanted her hair to look, I tried layering the colors with my colored pencils but it just wouldn't do what I wanted it to. I kept trying to blend, I just kept making it worse. I finally got fed up and used a marker to cover up all the mess I created. I was DEVASTATED with how it came out. I didn't want anyone to see it. I hated it. I thought it was ugly. I even thought about tearing it up. That's how much I hated it.

 

I was determined to make something pretty. So I grabbed another coloring book, because I couldn't stand coloring in the same book as that atrocity and so I started coloring in a Strawberry Shortcake character.

 

It wasn't till I could visibly tell that this color sheet was better then the other, that I started to calm down. I put SO MUCH pressure on myself to do a "better job". I worked so hard on it.

 

Yes, it looks nice, but it's just a color sheet. It wasn't till I was finished and satisfied with the results, that I allowed myself to go into grown up space. And then that's when I realized, just how ridiculous that was.

 

But at that moment, in that little space. The world was ending. My world was ending and I had to fix it. 

 

My melt downs are a lot like this, the emotion is so strong it controls and runs me.

 

I had a melt down with daddy earlier this morning. He was making a joke, but because I was in little space and in a sleepy clingy mood it broke me. I didn't find it funny, it wasn't humorous. I felt like he was rejecting me. I told him how I felt and how I didn't like what he said.

 

I ended up having to step away from our chat and try to calm myself and work through the emotions. But even after, I still felt the same way. I talked it all out with daddy and he said it was fine and that he'll try not to trigger me.

 

It's taken almost the whole day for me to finally be okay with the incident. And whats so annoying, in grown up space I would of been fine with it. I would have played it off and joked back. But I was in little space and it broke a piece of me... and I don't know if I can repair it.

 

I wish I could control my emotions in little space. Or be able to tell when I'm getting upset so I can calm myself down (like in grown up space). Or don't allow my emotions to get so strong... Ugh, I just don't want my little emotions to effect my core being.

I'm not okay with that.

[Guest annemarie]

i have borderline personality disorder and my emotions are exactly like this, so i feel you. it doesn't make you any less little. you're just a little with strong emotions. like me!!

[Guest AngelicKitten]

I just want to give you a really big hug.

The whole coloring situation is something that I do. Especially when I use a page from my coloring book that I love and then I ruin it.

I can't really say how to fix your situation that you're having as I am someone that is going through the some what the same thing. 

Just know you're not alone and if you want feel free to PM me and we can talk. 

 

Something that helps me when I get that way is bath time. I feel refreshed and in my brain it makes me feel like I washed all that bad energy away. Maybe find something that will help you wind down and feel more at ease with certain situations. 

 

Sorry I can't be more of help.

[kissingkitten]

Hugs to you. I gets super upsets to. Its not rational but i cant change it. I tend to either leave where im at and go do things like window shop. Or i get online in chat room and talk about it so others can help calm me. If i can i talk to daddy. I guess this means i distract myself so i dont make it worse.

[Guest TwinklingSpace]

i have borderline personality disorder and my emotions are exactly like this, so i feel you. it doesn't make you any less little. you're just a little with strong emotions. like me!!

 

Thank you for your support I appreciate it. It's not that I feel less little, it's that I feel like the little side of me is too strong. I don't think feeling things so intensely is good for my emotional or mental health. Because it's affecting me so much.

 

I just want to give you a really big hug.

The whole coloring situation is something that I do. Especially when I use a page from my coloring book that I love and then I ruin it.

I can't really say how to fix your situation that you're having as I am someone that is going through the some what the same thing. 

Just know you're not alone and if you want feel free to PM me and we can talk. 

 

Something that helps me when I get that way is bath time. I feel refreshed and in my brain it makes me feel like I washed all that bad energy away. Maybe find something that will help you wind down and feel more at ease with certain situations. 

 

Sorry I can't be more of help.

 

Thank you for your sweet comment. And I will for sure add you as a friend and PM you some time It's helpful to know I'm not the only one whose going through this. And for some odd reason, that comforts me. I did actually take a shower and I did my laundry (which I HATE), and that did help a bit. And talking to daddy in an affectionate way did help too

 

Hugs to you. I gets super upsets to. Its not rational but i cant change it. I tend to either leave where im at and go do things like window shop. Or i get online in chat room and talk about it so others can help calm me. If i can i talk to daddy. I guess this means i distract myself so i dont make it worse.

 

Hugs to you as well! I don't mind distracting myself/avoiding it. But I don't want that to be the only way I handle it. My little emotions are affecting my grown up self, and that scares me. I don't want to think of myself or daddy differently because of some fleeting emotion.