Not so "little" little space?

[Guest MissNMTX]

First off, I wanted to say thank you for being so kind to me. This is all such a revelation to me that being able to talk about it without judgement or raised eyebrows is so freeing and I'm eternally grateful. I always knew I had a "daddy" thing and then I figured out I'm actually submissive and I figured it was a quirk that kind of fit together, but I never got to experience having a Daddy so I was never sure. Recently it was pointed out to me that I was a baby girl/ princess and he acted as my Daddy...all the pieces fit together!

 

I enjoy the Lolita fashion aspects of being "little" ...I didn't know that was a thing until I found this forum and I get a very specific feeling when I go "little" So, I know its a real thing not made up in my mind. for me, it feels a bit like being drunk. Not the over hot, kind of wobbly, your voice might be a bit loud, and you really have to pee part. The warm, relaxed, giggly, happy, in love with the whole world part before. And I definitely get more needy/clingy (uhm Daddy, I'm here and I'm a princess I want all the attentions!!!) so It definitely feels different than being "big". I know there aren't really any "rules" except what works for you and your Daddy, but I'm still feeling a bit out of place.

 

I'm new here So maybe this has been talked about before and I just didn't see it. I worry that my little space isn't really that "little" I mean I watch Disney sometimes, not often...Princess Sofia is very independent and Doc McStuffins is well a Doctor, but I don't regress when I watch. I feel like a grown woman watching Disney. I don't care because Disney is awesome, but still. Sometimes I watch the newer versions...weird...of cartoons from when I was a kid. Again it feels like happy nostalgia I like to listen to music from when I was growing up hair bands and such, you know I'm feeling silly when I bust out the NKOTB. Yes, I'm actually that old! Is that the trick, because I'm actually so old I can only regress so much? I was doted on, spoiled, and well taken care of as a child.

 

I never really feel "little" yet I have this very specific feeling along with needs and wants all of which fit the DD/lg dynamic? Just having a Daddy makes me feel "little" When he talks to me like,I'm a princess, cuddling, wearing his clothes (all the awesome sauces), touching me,If he brought my coffee, picked out my clothes for an occasion(especially, if he picked the underthings just for me) when they get all possessive and protective. if he took me to a concert or sporting event I'd like, his smell, his voice (especially that Dom/Daddy stern whisper thing...wowsers!) Basically anything where i'm being thought of, care for or spoiled by my daddy and I don't have to make the decisions makes me feel "little". But really that just makes me sound like a spoiled, entitled brat not a "little". Without really going in or out of an age space does it even count? Its so different it has too? IDK, I'm so unsure. Can just having a Daddy make you feel little? if so, does it count as DD/lg or is it just some weird kink?

 

And Daddies, are they OK with it? I mean the submission, obedience, care and emotion are all there. I've been told I'm actually a "little lady" I haven't gotten to research that so maybe when I do it will help. Can you have Chinese and your favorite Sonic drink instead of  juice and nuggets? "Fear" and "Fast & Furious" ...I seriously love these movies seen them 100's of time instead of Anime? Cooking classes, wine tastings, and creative writing instead of homework and crafts? I mean I LOVE sparkle, if you see a sparkly yeti, sparkly nail polish or sparkly stationary you should totally think of me, but actually making something with glitter? That's a mess you'll never get cleaned up and that stresses me out! Mani/Pedi day instead of bath time? I'd never turn done bath time with Daddy(yum.) Sporting event instead of swings at the park?

 

I haven't seen yet where this has been talked about so I'm so unsure and if this isn't my community I'd hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable. If anyone has experience or thoughts it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for reading and for all the kindness.

Edited August 6, 2016 by MissNMTX

[Guest annemarie]

i made a post similar to this a little while ago and i want to let you know that you're definitely not alone. my littlespace isn't all that little either. i like a lot of big things along with my little things in littlespace and have a lot of littlespace things (like spanking, punishments in general) that i'm not comfortable with so me and my partner don't take place in it either, so you're definitely not alone. when i first found this community, it took me a while to find my littlespace too, but i believe that you'll be able to find it and the daddy that's perfect for you :3

[Guest MissNMTX]

Thanks so much AnneMarie. You're such a sweetheart. Yes, I won't lie I do enjoy spankings. I hope you're right. Its a nice new feeling of comfort and release to me I'd like to find a way to make something work. Probably, LDR at first just because of where I live.

[DollDirector]

I won't say a lot,am certainly not going to interfere with your search,and am wary of appearing to be putting tags on others here,would not like that being done to me,but it certainly rings bells:

What about being somewhere between 8 and say your first period; Maybe as a beginning he is not your daddy but your uncle or any carer that you have always been in love with,has known you when you were very young,you told him you loved him and he said you are too young dear,we will see that when you are older OK ? You said how old ? He was surprised and said 8; You've never forgotten

[Guest PRINCESSE]

I think that going in an out of an age space is more related to age play,the beauty of BDSM and DDLG is that,well, you can have whatever you want, you can switch from little to middle to little to big in whatever way you want as long as your happy,guess its like the little picture that floats around "not all littles wear pink" well and not all littles want to eat nuggets and drink juice, they want to eat Chinese and drink their sonic drink  ,others may disagree but my feeling is that you can be little in any circumstance,a lot of littles smoke weed and say it helps them gt into little space,so I don't see why the wine tasting wouldn't be fine,if your Daddy picked up some a wine glass, helped you sip it and said "here princess how does this one taste"  then that would put you in little space or whatever? I think there is a wide spectrum for it and if you feel comfortable here then why not stay and enjoy ?  I think the feeling you describe is your way of being little:

"I never really feel "little" yet I have this very specific feeling along with needs and wants all of which fit the DD/lg dynamic? Just having a Daddy makes me feel "little" When he talks to me like,I'm a princess, cuddling, wearing his clothes (all the awesome sauces), touching me,If he brought my coffee, picked out my clothes for an occasion(especially, if he picked the underthings just for me) when they get all possessive and protective. if he took me to a concert or sporting event I'd like, his smell, his voice (especially that Dom/Daddy stern whisper thing...wowsers!) Basically anything where i'm being thought of, care for or spoiled by my daddy and I don't have to make the decisions makes me feel "little". But really that just makes me sound like a spoiled, entitled brat not a "little". Without really going in or out of an age space does it even count? Its so different it has too? IDK, I'm so unsure. Can just having a Daddy make you feel little? if so, does it count as DD/lg or is it just some weird kink?"

[Guest MissNMTX]

Thank you for your kind words PrincessE. I understand that roles can be fluid and boundaries are to be negotiated. I also, understand that some people adhere to strict boundaries and definitions...if it helps sort thing out, why not? I just wanted to be sure to not offend anyone (I'm new here and still learning in general) Also, if there was a certain subcategory I'm unaware of I would want to learn more about that...for self identity and knowledge. Since, it seems I managed to not rub anyone the wrong way. I guess I'll check this off the list of things to worry about.  Thank you again for your understanding and acceptance.

[Guest LittlePeachCake]

Hi MissN,

 

I'm so in sync with you - I'm new and I'm still understanding my little, and I think I'm a little older than a lot of the people in this (lovely and welcoming) site. 

 

I didn't know about the DD/lg dynamic either until someone approached me on Tinder and it was a revelation. It just seemed to fit and looking around at my life I see so many signs. I feel like I finally understand a huge part of myself and I'm free to express it now. 

 

I'm 37 yet I'm still attracted to (and have) so many little things. Disney Princess tissues, Nicoletta Ciccola pictures on my bedroom walls, a big fluffy white bed with a teddy bear (Spencer), kitten PJs, Hello Kitty socks, sparkly nail polish and all sorts of other bits and pieces. I've felt a bit awkward about that until recently - now I buy those tissues when I like and Spencer takes pride of place on my bed. 

 

I've never felt remotely like a grown up - I watch MTV, refuse to make my bed and regularly eat things like Nutella for dinner. I probably need a full time Daddy to get me into shape. However I do have a 'real job', working in financial services and it's reasonably demanding. I do like it at times however it does sometimes surprise me that I've succeeded there. I like to escape from it. 

 

Sexually the sub dynamic fits entirely, I *love* being dominated physically and mentally, spanked (hard), restrained, made to do what I'm told, and all the rest... This goes back to my 20s. I feel now like I can finally indulge this without shame. 

 

I think my little is probably a sexually precocious 12-16 year old. Not sure how far back I can regress yet, though it's maybe more than I realise. I like wearing pretty dresses, frilly pink knickers and long socks for my Daddy. And my existing wardrobe catered for this already. There are a lot of things there I've thought a 37 probably shouldn't wear anymore, but now I get to!

 

I feel like the penny has finally dropped and like you, I didn't know this was a 'thing'. I've read that it's fine to create your own boundaries and lifestyle, and of course it is, but I do wonder where I fit in. I've read I could be a middle or big little, a nymphet, sub little or a brat. Everything I read says something different. I'd love any feedback / discussion also!

 

Thank you :-)

Edited August 7, 2016 by LittlePeachCake

[Guest MissNMTX]

Hi Peach,

 

Thank you for the kind words. I took a look at your profile and we're very close in "actual age" Congrats for the awesome job by the way. I have the awesome education, but not the awesome job...yet!

 

I understand absolutely what you mean about being submissive sexually fitting you perfectly. It did me as well. I think very few people understand how exhausting the world is and then have to come home and worry about performing well at THAT also!  Not having to make any of the decisions and choices is so freeing Spankings are awesome! It was great until I said...oh when I'm really deep in this word slips out..

 

Turns out the term I was told, "little lady" was completely made up! I laughed and said of course the thing that describes me would have to be made up!  I'm going to keep the term...so that there is one. I think I may well be somewhere between a middle and a nymphet myself. I wonder if you can be a college aged "little"?

 

The girls were so nice to me this morning, that for now I've decided to not worry about terms...I really was worried that not knowing exactly would offend someone. I'm just going to take the time to listen, learn, and meet people. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

 

Thanks for being so simpatico...You rock!

Edited August 6, 2016 by MissNMTX

[Guest LittlePeachCake]

So do you!! Humans are complex and we're never going to all fit into the same mould, psychologically or sexually. I'm going to try not to get too hung up on terminology too (though I don't want to offend anyone either). I know what I am and that's what counts. 

 

Thank you re: job. Somehow I manage to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I feel like an imposter though ;-)

 

By the word slipping out did you mean "Daddy"? I agree re: submission also. Aspects have always turned me on however the full blown dynamic is more and more appealing. Definitely NOT having to make decisions is a good thing and it just works for me either way. And now I get to indulge everything I've ever liked without shame. 

 

Stay in touch and let me know how you go. My new FetLife profile has the same username.

 

Elle xo

[Guest MissNMTX]

Thanks.. Yes, that's the word I mean. I swear it just comes out!

[Guest LittlePeachCake]

Ahhhhh I see. I haven't used that until now but some of the sub stuff has come recently and it's like, wow, where did that come from? But I still want to be nurtured. 

 

     

[daddys_doll]

I know how you feel, and it makes me feel better to see so many other people who know it too. I'm very new to this life style, myself and Daddy and I are each other's first venture into this sort of thing. I never had anyone I trusted so much and I'm his first everything. We're having fun figuring all of this out. 

Since we met and became friends he's always been really nurturing and protective of me, making sure I take care of myself and get my sleep and doctor's appointments in. He's really big on making sure that I'm happy mentally and physically. 

 

  In little space, which I haven't fully defined yet, I don't really notice a shift more like I'm always half-in half-out. I'm not sure about what would trigger that shift, but I think I've noticed it in Build-a-bear and disney world if it's just Daddy and I. Since we're both so new to this it feels odd to call him daddy, but it feels... good. Like comforting and safe. I'm not sure why, but I'm trying not to ask too many questions at this point. I'd put my little age from like 5-12. I like to draw and color and sing little nonsense songs to my teddy bear and dog. (I only have the one bear, really right now). I hope as I explore it further that I can feel the shift from Big to Little. But, honestly I've always been really childish for my age.

 

We tried Master/Sub for a while but it didn't feel right and I was okay with calling him master but I absolutely balk at being called Slave or something like that. The submission thing works for me, because it's really something I knew I liked but that I didn't tell any of my partners about because I didn't feel close enough to them to let them in like that. Though I've acknowledged that part of myself I still want to be protected and nurtured. I just wish there were some other littles around me that I could make friends with :<

[Guest MissNMTX]

Everyone here has been really nice and supportive to me so far.  I haven't been here long, but I'm trying to post were it applies to me or I have some thoughts to let people get to know me. Hang around for a bit and I'm sure you'll meet people.

 

I love Build a Bear. I've made one for all my nieces, nephews, and little cousins. Never for myself though.That would be weird, right?...lol I think its fun. I love all the details and how its fully customized to any personality and occasion. I think they make excellent gifts.  I love Disney as well. Again, the attention to detail. Disney thinks of everything, every detail and you get to have a great experience.

[LilAngeladri]

 

"Can you have Chinese and your favorite Sonic drink instead of juice and nuggets? "Fear" and "Fast & Furious" ...I seriously love these movies seen them 100's of time instead of Anime? Cooking classes, wine tastings, and creative writing instead of homework and crafts? I mean I LOVE sparkle, if you see a sparkly yeti, sparkly nail polish or sparkly stationary you should totally think of me, but actually making something with glitter?"

 

I loved what you said here because it so greatly illustrates what's real (realistic) and what's presented to us about little space, being little ect.) I sometimes struggle with this myself. I love too cook dinner in little space. I'll cook a big delicious complicated, adulty dinner like baked salmon and salad. But on the other end, I like to curl up in a pink blanket and cuddle my bunny in little space.

while PLENTY of littles enjoy Dino nuggets and Mac and cheese, binkys and frozen and princess and all things pink and glitter. However, nobody ever said you have to like these things exclusively. And , to be honest being little is more complicated than just "pink and glitter" nobody ever said you can't have Chinese and sonic! I think as a community we tend to overly personify ourselves as these glitter loving tutu wearing littles (not that we are not this), but that we don't have to be this !! Or that we can be like this AND be so much more ! ( I definitely fall into the latter category.)

When I was younger I ate Chinese, I rode bikes and I even took sips of my dad's wine once in a while ( Portuguese culture) my mom gave me decaf coffee with milk to share with her regular coffee, and I used to LOVE (who am I kidding I still do) remote control cars, Pokemon, grand theft auto ( my older brother would play and I would always sneak in and watch). Those are all things that you don't think of immediately when u think of a young girl but they are part of who I was along with all the things that defined me as a child.

 

Now back to adult me. In an effort to "prove myself "as a little Maybe I think I should only do things that I know make me look little. However , what about all those great things I just described I did? Plenty of other people didn't have the perpetuated childhoods of childyness without having some degree of quirky adult things thrown in there. After all Were were all raised by adults who eat sushi,drink, write, read ect. And adult things are introduced.

 

Don't worry about trying to define your little space with certain markers, although it's absolutely okay to love pink glitter and stickers, you can drink wine in little space if you want ive never tried it but it would probably even be fun to get drunk in little space! Creative writing in little space? Why not.

 

What's great to remember is that we're are not children, we are littles. While a little shares certain qualities with that of a real child, we are not the same beings. Littles are different creatures from both children and adults. We are a mixture and compilation of both beings, and unique in our own way. So hey, if you wanna do "adult things" in little space, or "little things" in adult space, go ahead! You may notice that your reactions, feelings, thoughts, associations, and emotions change in different head spaces that you enter , just like when you are in a more submissive mindset for in a more aggressive one ( maybe out in the work place ect?) .

 

Every single human being has a complex and multi faceted personality, and once you add little/sub/Dom/ect to the mix that complexity just grows. Often when an individual role plays, they stay "in character" only allowing certain things to happen and not doing things that would not support the role of that character. So for example, let's say I wanted to role play as a little. I wouldn't eat Chinese food, or wine taste, or creative write ect. There are simple boundaries, meets and bounds that I wouldn't cross in order to maintain the legitimacy of the role play. Makes sense. Role play=acting. Acting = maintaining your character. However, being a little is different from ages play or role play. Not that littles can't role play, or that role players can't be littles, but that they are distinct actions/concepts. Within little space, there is no role to support, no wrong way to "be". You are simply yourself, with a change or add to your mindset, emotional state, your perception. Do whatever makes you feel truest to yourself!

[Guest MissNMTX]

Thank you LilAngeladri and welcome to the Forum!  

 

This is very well written and much appreciated! This was one of the first posts I wrote here and I've been so supported and encouraged since then.  I'm starting to be less hung up on labels, understand the nuances more and myself as well.

 

Did I mention I'm obsessed with all things Portuguese?

 

Again, welcome!

[Dumbledork'sPrincess]

I know you've had several responses to this topic already and that you seem to be understanding your little side more, but i just wanted to say that when you said this

 

'Basically anything where i'm being thought of, care for or spoiled by my daddy and I don't have to make the decisions makes me feel "little". But really that just makes me sound like a spoiled, entitled brat not a "little".'

 

It sounds a bit like me. I love to be pampered, spoiled and babied by Daddy. And being a brat is fine. I often pout when I don't get my owb way, Daddy thinks it's cute, but he also caves sometimes and gives me what I want

 

Just go with it and explore your little space